Hi! Thanks for viewing!
Enjoy!
"Hama... You're my sister... Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you tell me when we first met?" And with that revelation Ivan's world was turned entirely upside down. He'd been searching for family his entire life, wondering why they gave him up, who they were, where they were now, if they ever loved him, why they never messaged. Now here was Hama, a woman he had met over a year ago telling him that he was her brother and she was his sister.
It couldn't be real. For seventeen years he had searched for family, wondered about them, and his sister had been living just across the Lamankan Desert this entire time. Why did she never visit or even send a letter?
She had given him such odd looks when they visited Lama Temple. He had chalked it up to imparting Reveal upon him and his connection to Jupiter. She had known so much about him, all of them, and yet again let an assumption clear away curiosity and doubt. After all, a woman who can predict the future should know these things.
"You play an important role in all of this. If I'd told you, you would have come here too soon." Her reply was simple, calm, to the point. There was an air of finality to it, like what she said was the definite outcome.
Ivan sighed, glancing around the room of Hama's home. His home. He had lived here once as a baby before Hama or his parents, or some other Jupiter Adepts had given him to Hammet as part of his destiny. "This place is so familiar... I feel like I've lived here my whole life."
And it did it all seemed familiar; he doubted he remembered any of it in any part of his mind, but the walls, the colour, the rugs scattered about the floor, they seemed familiar and maybe it was only because he had just learned he once lived here and he didn't truly recognise any of it. Regardless, it all felt like he knew it.
"Look at me, Ivan." The words were quick, formal, and instantly snapped Ivan's eyes away from the walls and to Hama's purple eyes… so like his own he now realised. "You're too sentimental. You would have given up your quest to find your true home, and we would all now be lost."
Her words irked him greatly, but he showed no outward sign of it. She was speaking like she knew him and how could she? She was ever a part of his life; she was never there for him. All the times he was bullied and pushed into the dirt for being weird and being a freak where was she to look after him and take care of him. Nowhere.
She was never a part of his life, never showed any sign of wanting to be, who was she to say anything about how he was? She didn't know him. She certainly didn't seem to want to either.
Who was she to say that he was too sentimental or that he would give up his quest? She didn't know him, and no matter what future she saw that wasn't who he was. He wouldn't have abandoned his friends. She could have easily visited and showed him this place and told him everything about his role in the prophecy, but no, she left him alone for all his life.
"What are you saying, sister?"
The words were forced. She is his sister but right now it's very hard to say it. A sister cares for her brother and she has shown no indication of doing that. She has not even apologised or explained in any reasonable way.
"No, not sister... Do not think of me as your sister until you have fulfilled your destiny." She looks at the floor; he wants to believe that it's sadness or regret. He sees no emotion though; just the eyes turned downward, nothing about her expression changed.
"W-Why?" No apology. No explanation. No love shown. Not even the word brother. He bit his lips waiting for an explanation or apology, desperately hoping for one. It's a struggle to keep his voice from breaking or to stop a croak escaping. He bites harder to try keep tears from forming. Not right now, not right now, not right now. He can't cry, he can't, not in front of everyone like this.
He feels hands on his shoulders but doesn't turn to acknowledge who it is he just keeps his eyes trained on Hama, afraid that the slightest movement will break his resolve.
"Our world is falling into ruin..."
She looks back up but turns away from him, facing Felix, addressing him directly, and disregarding all of his questions, curiosities, and emotions. Ivan's fists clench tightly, fingernails digging deeply into his palms. He's sure the wet sting he feels could be blood. The fierce burning heat in his face is urging tears to come out and it takes him everything to stop them. He stands stock still, any words said falling on deaf words as he tries to hold together.
He feels the hands on his shoulders grip him a little tighter and he focuses on them with all his might, doing everything he can to stop a single tear from squeezing from his obviously reddened and wet eyes.
His sister continues talking about the fate of Weyard, Felix and company backing up her words with evidence the King of Lemuria provided them. Words kept being passed back and forth but Ivan had tuned out, eyes staring unfocused at the wall opposite him.
Eventually he feels a slight squeeze and tug on his cloak. He's been lost in his thoughts and emotions for who knows long. Only Felix, Isaac, Hama, and he were left in the house; the others having gone to the inn apparently.
Isaac was saying something about following Felix. Something about it being his quest, Ivan couldn't really register anything. The tug on his cloak had jolted him out of his thoughts and now he was staring at Hama, staring at his sister. She still wouldn't look at him. She was just looking to Felix. She said something about a powerful force. He could barely hear anything over the throbbing of his heart in his ears.
"C'mon, Ivan, let's get back to the inn." Isaac's voice, it was soft and caring. Another gentle tug at his cloak prompted the movement of his left foot backwards once.
He swallowed, realising just now how dry his throat was. He took another step backward, Isaac's hand still on his shoulder, looking at Hama as he backed out of the house under Isaac's guidance. She turned to him, no expression visible on her face. She nodded to him before he eventually found the strength of will to turn away from her and leave the house.
As soon as he was over the threshold he found himself running toward the inn at the corner of the town, his hometown. He tried to resist the urge to look around but could not. He glanced at the market, thinking of how he and Hama may have shopped there daily and chatted with the merchants. He saw two kids no older than ten playing a game of tag, he wondered if he may have been asked to babysit them some days. There were two boys sitting at the edge of the Anemos crater laughing about something, could they have been his friends? Could he have grown up with them and known them? Or would they have treated him like the kids in Kalay had?
He rushed past all the people in the market, hearing whispers of his name and mentions of the prophecy. Nothing he wanted to hear. He just wanted to be alone. Alone like his family wanted him to be. Alone, just like they had left him.
He rushed into the inn, swallowing and glancing around frantically. A young woman approached him and informed him in a kindly tone that his friends had bought a room for everyone and told him which was his. He nodded, doing his best to thank the young lady but achieving nothing more than maybe a mumble or grunt with a nod.
He slams the door when he's inside, not meaning to and it's so loud in his mind it echoes over and over. He stands still completely unsure of what to do. He wants to cry. He wants to scream. He wants to smash something. He wants the pain to stop. He wants to belong.
He only registers how hard it is to breathe, how heavy and rapid his are coming after he brings a bloodied palm to his sweat drenched forehead. He does his best to his cloak and tunic off as quickly as he can, getting tangled in the mess of fabrics and ties, making his chest rise and fall faster and faster with panic. All he can see in the darkness of the mess of clothes is Hama's disinterested look to him, her telling him not to call her his sister.
He tosses the clothes aside falling to his knees in just his undershirt and pants. Nails drag along the wood of the floor leaving the slightest trails of blood in their wake. He gasps and splutters doing everything to resist the urge to vomit.
Why is he always so alone? Why does no one want him? Why can't he have a family?
He wretches, gagging on whatever is in his throat before spitting up some bile, tears dripping out beside the small puddle he left.
Why can't he belong?
It doesn't occur to him that he's crawling, backing up and trying to curl into himself all at once until his foot touches against the wall. Before he knows it he's curled up in the corner, shaking and choking as tears drip from his eyes. He's cold. He can't breathe. He just wants a family. He wants a mother to hug. He wants a father to ruffle his hair proudly. He wants to be loved by his sister. He wants to belong.
Gasps escape him, choked broken noises as he shudders, sniffling and furiously wiping at his eyes and nose with his bloodied hands. He's pathetic, he's weak, he's useless.
It's no wonder his family didn't want him. Why was he surprised when Hama didn't show him any love? Why didn't he realise why she didn't want to be called his sister? Who would want to be related to a freak? It's his fault. He was such a horrible excuse for a human how could anyone want him? How could he ever belong? He would always be alone.
He chokes and wails, not realising the knocks at the door or the creak as it's pushed open and the strained sound of wood under footsteps. He doesn't acknowledge any voices he just curls into himself and chokes on vomit and tears as he's wrapped in something.
"Ivan?" Isaac was worried. He had to stop the discuss some things with Felix, he didn't want to let the boy to run off like that, but Felix had grabbed his shoulder and insisted on discussing the truth of the Boulder incident. As happy as he was that his father and Jenna's parents were okay, it was dulled by his worry for the young boy he had travelled with for so long.
He's flanked by Garet and Mia, and even Sheba, roused by the sounds coming from the boy's room. He knocks again, hoping for some answer other than the barely audible noises he can hear on the other side.
"I'm coming in okay?" He waits a second; getting no response yet again, before pushing the door open slowly. He flinches at the sight of whatever mix of fluid is on the floor, swallowing the lump in his throat and stepping into the room.
It feels like a punch to the chest when he sees Ivan. He looks so small in the corner, curled into himself as tightly as he can. He can feel his heart rip into two when he hears the boy sobbing and gagging on his own noises. Within a heartbeat all four of them are at the boy's side.
Isaac picks him up and holds the boy's head to his chest, stroking his hair and letting out gentle "Shhh" sounds. Mia has her cloak unfastened and wrapped around the shivering boy's body in no time as he clings to Isaac and buries his face into his tunic.
Garet gently shakes his own head, cursing under his breath as he reaches out a large gloved hand and holding Ivan's shoulder. His thumb rubs back and forth over whatever he can reach in the best soothing motion he can achieve without being able to hug his friend himself.
Sheba just clutches her shawl unsure of what to do. This was a close group of friends she was new to, but she understood Ivan's feelings. She had seen him in Hama's house. She had heard the words they exchanged. She understood exactly how he felt. She wanted to help.
Ivan sniffles and sobs, his fingers clinging tightly to Isaac's sleeves and chest. Broken words break out from his lips amidst the shattered sounds of his crying. He's apologising and begging for it to stop and begging to be loved and wanted. He's pleading and clinging to the only three people he could have ever considered friends.
He doesn't want to lose them, he doesn't. He knows he's useless, he knows he's pathetic but he can't lose them too he's already lost his family he can't lose more.
The four others bite their lips, glancing at each other and seeing the wetness of their own eyes as they feel for the boy. They all gather around and do their best to hold him and comfort him.
"You are loved, Ivan."
"You're one of us."
"We love you."
"We're your family."
"You're not alone."
"We'll always be with you."
The words keep coming and the gentle cooing and comforting touches eventually calm Ivan to just sniffles and shuddering. They hold him for as long as he needs, encouraging him and comforting him and being there for him.
He sniffles and buries his head into Isaac's chest again, muttering apologies into the fabric. The four of them just gently shush him, doing everything they can to be with him.
He doesn't know what to think. His sister didn't want him. His parents didn't want him. He was rarely more than a servant to Hammet and Layana. The children of Kalay didn't want him.
Now he was surrounded by the only people he had ever known to be his friends and being told that he wasn't pathetic or useless or a freak. He was being told that he was amazing, and loved, and part of family with them.
He felt comforted, but the sting and loss of his own sister not wanting him burned too much. All he wanted to know all his life was why his family had left him to Hammet, all he wanted was to be with them. To be told no by the only one you have left…? He didn't know what to do anymore.
"I'm sorry…" He muttered again, more out of habit than anything else.
"It's okay, Ivan, it's been a very rough few days." Mia's motherly and caring tone is soft as she takes the boy's hand. "We'll get you cleaned up and then get some rest, okay?"
He simply nods, making a weak attempt at an "Mm-hmm" in his throat.
Isaac glances at both Mia and Garet, giving a shared nod of understanding as he helps him stand and guides him to a washroom with Mia. He stands outside the room silently with Sheba and Garet. Jenna and Piers arrive on the scene a minute or two later and Sheba quickly takes it upon herself to guide them away.
Garet smirks a little at the small blonde girl as she throws a thumbs up back to them before disappearing around the corner with the other two Adepts. They stand silently, fuming and worrying as they wait for Mia to bring Ivan back out.
It takes a minute or three for the boy to come back out, his eyes on the floor doing everything he can to avoid looking at his friends. He's embarrassed, he's sad, and he doesn't want to face them. Mia's smiling warmly beside him, her arm around him. He seems so much smaller.
"Let's get you some rest, okay? And when you wake we'll get you some good food and more water."
Ivan simply nods, dragging his feet along as his three friends guide him to his bed and help him into it, smiling to him the entire time.
They stay by his bedside comforting him until his eyes, red and puffy, close and he pulls the sheets around him more tightly. They stay by him until at last they hear his breathing calm and slow. Mia smiles; gently ruffling his hair as he slept. Garet pats the boy's leg wishing him sweet dreams before standing up. Isaac stays beside him the longest, watching his sleeping face as he squeezes his hand in his own.
"We love you, Ivan. You're part of our family." He whispers, leaning up and kissing the boy's forehead, "Sleep well."
Ivan smiles slightly before he drifts if entirely. He does have a family. He does belong. He is loved. Isaac, Mia, and Garet are his family, and he has no doubt the size of his family has doubled now that Felix has joined them.
He cuddles into his bed a little more, inwardly thanking them as they whisper their own goodnights to him before drifting to sleep.
Thanks for reading!
Hope you enjoyed!
Your friend and writer,
Droory
