Author's Note: I don't own League or any of the characters.

This was started on tumblr, where there was a prompt floating around that went roughly, "Put 'Honey, I'm home!' in my inbox and I'll describe our marriage." Me being an overenthusiastic idiot, I wrote minifics. Some have different formats from when I felt like experimentation, but most are pretty standard. I'll mention any potential warnings ahead of time.


The Soraka and Pink Taric marriage was an announcement that shocked the League. No one had ever expected Taric to settle down, and especially not with a female. The gayest man in the League and the Starchild? Everyone waited for a "haha, just kidding!" announcement, but it never came.

On the eve of their wedding, Soraka called Taric to her room. "You can always back out, you know." It was a tempting offer, but Taric's answer was cemented when she continued by saying, "No one will think less of you, and no one needs to know you'd be losing our bet."

With renewed determination, Taric answered, "No, Soraka. I *will* marry you, and I *will* win the bet." It was a bet he regretted making, but Taric was bound and determined to prove Soraka wrong now. He remembered those two days quite clearly….

~ Three Months Ago ~

The match was over; they had lost. Frustration was running high, and Taric should have known better than to stick around in the post-game lobby looking at the statistics.

"You're a terrible support!" It was Soraka; just the last person he wanted to see. "I should have gone bottom lane with Varus instead of you! Thanks for feeding, idiot. Why don't you just quit? Varus likes MY support better anyway!"

Normally, Taric ignored criticisms easily by redirecting his thoughts to gems, but Soraka had hit a nerve. "And what of you, Miss I'm-going-mid-to-feed-Sion? You didn't ever Wish for us or help the jungler when he ganked! And yourb team fighting? Atrocious! Besides, Varus likes me just fine."

Tempers were quickly reaching the boiling point, but neither Soraka nor Taric cared. The other champions were wise enough to leave before things got any uglier, but neither the gem knight nor the starchild would back down.

"You only think he likes you! Who could ever like a man who can't settle down?"

"I could settle down any time with any one!" Taric yelled indignantly.

"Hah!" Soraka let out a shriek of laughter, "You wouldn't last a year in marriage! I feel sorry for your boy toys; in a relationship with a man who could never get serious!" With that, Soraka turned on her heel and left the lobby, leaving Taric open-mouthed and staring.

It took twenty minutes before he was able to calm down and start formulating his revenge. Soraka would NOT get the last word.

~ Two Days Later ~

Soraka was eating her lunch in the crowded League cafeteria like any other day when Taric strode up to her. Finishing her bite of salad, she smirked at him, "Here to admit defeat?"

It was Taric's turn to smirk now, as he dropped to one knee and pulled a ring box from behind his back. The crowd fell silent as he asked loudly, "Soraka, will you marry me?" The resulting cacophony of voices was loud enough to be heard three rooms away, and easily masked Taric saying quietly to Soraka, "I told you I could do it. Turn me down; I win."

Soraka took a deep breath, looking from Taric's smug face to the exquisite ring he was presenting that he had obviously spent a lot of time crafting himself, then back to his smirk. Exhaling, she said loudly enough for the entire room to hear, "Taric, I WILL marry you," then leapt into his arms. Leaning into him to whisper into his ear, she added, "You won't win."

~ Present Day ~

"Honey, I'm home!" Soraka called, closing the door behind her. "Are you ready to quit yet?"

"Never! Are YOU ready to quit?" Taric answered, not leaving the kitchen.

"Not on my life!"

Every day went through the same routine. Taric and Soraka would wake up on opposite sides of their shared bed, fully clothed of course. Soraka would take the first shower while Taric prepared breakfast. They'd eat together in relative silence, ending the meal by each asking if the other was ready to quit and receiving a firm 'no.'

Soraka would leave for the Institute of War after breakfast while Taric cleaned up then took his own turn in the shower. Since Soraka was a more popular pick, Taric got to start his work days later and end them earlier. Some days they were on the same team; others, they were on opposite teams. After every match they would leave the lobby immediately, remembering all too well that day they hadn't. They would always eat lunch together in silence with Ashe and Tryndamere, then go their own ways to head back onto the Fields of Justice.

Taric would get home early and start working on dinner. When Soraka got home they would go through their usual exchange, then start talking about their days before eating dinner. They'd watch Soraka's choice of documentaries for several hours before changing to the Fashion Channel upon Taric's request for the rest of the night, then head to bed. Once in bed they would go through the same exchange every night before falling asleep as far apart physically as they could.

They were both determined not to be the first to cave in, and the marriage that was supposed to be limited to a year lasted far longer than that out of spiteful determination not to be the quitter.

Some say they grew to like each other, while others say they suffered a hate-marriage until the very end. Whatever the case, their marriage lasted to the grave.