Wanting and Having
Disclaimer: If I owned Star Trek then I sure wouldn't be writing this.
Even by Vulcan standards the day was hot, the torrid sun scorching any and all who dared to venture outdoors. In an almost vain attempt to escape the sweltering heat, or at least prolong it's inevitable presence, T'Pring had hidden herself away in a dark room, deep within the inner recesses of her home, if such a cold barren dwelling could even be considered a home. The air inside the room was heavy, thick with the moisture that had evaporated from the fountain that trickled in the background. The hypnotic pinging of the water as if fell combined with the almost tangible air gave the room a lazy, unhurried atmosphere; something that it's lone occupant felt no need to change as she ate her dinner in solitude. Her seclusion, while not self-imposed, had no effect on her either, for during the years following her marriage she had become accustomed to being left to herself by her husband.
In the deepest, most secret part of her being, T'Pring could admit that she was not content. More than that, she was not happy. The fact that being unhappy meant she should also be able to be happy was something that she purposely overlooked. There was only so much a Vulcan could admit to, and even a private admission of unhappiness was too shameful to consciously acknowledge.
There had been something about Stonn that had attracted her to him. It wasn't just that he wasn't Spock. It wasn't that he was particularly intelligent or strong. Truth be told, on paper he was a fairly poor specimen of a Vulcan male. That still hadn't mattered. There was something in him that she had wanted.
Now, more than anything, T'Pring wished that she could return to the time before she had chosen Stonn. True, Spock was not her first choice of a husband, but, she reflected as she chewed her food, before she had hastily made plans to get out of her marriage, she had more or less consigned herself to the arrangement. She had been content with it.
She'd had Spock. She'd wanted Stonn.
She had Stonn. She wanted Spock.
Kristin: T'Pring has always been a bit of a sore spot for me. I can't believe that she was crazy enough to give up Spock, but I really can't bring myself to hate her. Sure, I don't particularly like her, but I don't exactly dislike her either. I kind of feel sorry for her, and I've always wondered if she found Spock's words to be true in relation to her life.
Interesting trivia about this fic-I actually started to write it five years ago. 10/06/03 to be exact. For some reason I decided to take a look at it tonight, and suddenly found myself able to complete it, even though I'd already resigned myself to never finishing it. It took a different turn than I had originally planned on, but for the most part I'm happy with it.
