Authors Note: My original account was 'taliamellark.' I decided to delete that account because it was cluttered and it annoyed me. I didn't want to discontinue this story so I've decided to re-upload it. However, there will be some changes because I believe it was too scattered and messy before. Most of it will initially be the same but I will be editing the chapters and changing a few things. I am going to delete that account soon and this will be the only story that I am re-uploading. The rest of the chapters will be up throughout the week. Reviews are immensely appreciated, enjoy!

I had lost track of the months that passed since the Capitol was defeated. That was something that should have made me jump with joy. A world without the Capitol meant no more Hunger Games. Yet, I could not celebrate as everyone else had once the rebels had won. I had lost too much in the process. I lost my mother and Gale. They were alive but I knew that there was a small chance they would ever return. Finnick was dead. Peeta…I couldn't remember the last time I spoke to Peeta. My heart dropped just thinking of him. I missed him. I longed for Peeta, for the hope that he brings. Some nights were unbearable. His embrace was once my safe haven. In his arms, and his only, I would be protected from the nightmares.

But that was another thing the Capitol had taken away from me. He had been tortured and hijacked, programmed to kill me. I didn't know if he had recovered. Plutarch said that there was a chance he could return to normal but he wasn't certain. There were many things that were still unclear but one thing I could not ignore was that I felt lost without him.

And Prim… my precious and innocent sister. I gripped the sheets of my bed and curled into a ball. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to replace the burning images with sweet memories. I couldn't stand to think about her but I felt like forgetting what happened would mean to forget her and I could never do that.

I had been a zombie ever since I returned to District 12. Greasy Sae came every morning and night to cook for me. I didn't know if this was out of kindness of if she was asked to do it but I was never able to hold a conversation for long enough to ask her. Sometimes she would bring her granddaughter to help. Greasy Sae never asked questions that involved a heavy answer. She would comment on simple things, like the change of weather or how the birds sang more often now. She found that I was comfortable with silence. I never saw anyone so having some human interaction was pleasant.

Haymitch hardly ever left his house either so I rarely saw him. I didn't blame him; I hadn't left my house since I returned. On rare occasions Haymitch would make an appearance at dinner time but no words were ever exchanged. He was always drowning in alcohol and I no longer judged him for it. I would do anything to numb the pain that suffocated me.

I was still curled up into a ball with my eyes shut when I smelt the aroma of food being prepared downstairs. I wasn't quite in the mood to venture downstairs to eat but my stomach growled in protest.

I rolled over to the side of the bed, slipping the blanket off of me and shivering as the cool air clung to my exposed skin.

Something seemed different today. The sun shone high in the sky and brightly through my windows. Although the air was chilly, the sun provided a fresh, soothing warmth. The birds sand loudly outside my window. Nothing was noticeably different yet something just…felt different. I shook my head at the feeling, refusing to take notice of it.

Slowly I sat up, feeling my brown locks slip down my back in a messy tangle. My body felt numb and weak. I stretched, trying to ease the tension in my limbs but it didn't work. Sighing, I stood and grabbed the silk robe Effie had given me what felt like a lifetime ago. I slipped it on, refusing to look down at the scars that tainted my body. They were caused by the same fire that killed her and served as a reminder of what had happened.

My legs shook as I thought of my beautiful sister. Every time she crept into my mind I wanted to close my eyes, sleep and never return.

However, I knew deep down that she would not want me to be like this. Taking a deep breath, I left the safety of my room and trudged down the stairs. Of course, there Greasy Sae was frying what looked and smelt like eggs.

"Smells great." I smiled which caused her to jump.

"Oh! Katniss! I didn't even hear you come down the stairs."

I had forgotten how quiet I was on my feet.

"Sorry," I apologized and sat myself down at the table.

Something in the air was different and I still couldn't quite figure it out.

Greasy Sae placed two plates down on the table, one in front of me and one for her.

"Your granddaughter is not joining us today?" I asked, pushing my fringe away from my eyes and glancing up towards her.

"Not today, she's out picking flowers." She replied and began to eat the eggs she had prepared.

The food looked and smelled great. I began to eat my food slowly, savouring the taste. We sat in silence and that didn't bother either of us.

When we were both done eating, Sae stood up and collected my dish and placed them in the sink. Just as she was about to begin washing them, I jumped up and walked towards her.

"Here, let me. You cook for me every day. I never do anything. Please, let me."

She looked up at me with her grey eyes and simply nodded. She lifted her hand, placing it on my cheek and smiled gently.

"Thank you, Katniss. I will see you later tonight for dinner." Dropping her hand, she turned on her feet and left.

I realized suddenly that I felt horrible, letting an old woman cook and clean for me when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. Mentally, I was not even fit enough to get out of bed but physically I really could do the day to day things I should have been doing.

I washed the dishes thoroughly, dried them and put them away.

After taking a few deep breaths, my nose scrunched up at the smell. Was that me…or did something die?

I looked down at my clothes and realized that I had not changed since I arrived back in District 12. The only difference was the robe that I put on this morning. Suddenly, I felt bad for Greasy Sae. She had to be around me when I smelt like this and she would never say anything.

I made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom. There was already a towel neatly placed on the towel rack and I figured that was there from a long time ago by the dust that rose as I had picked it up. I stripped myself of my clothes and stepped into the shower.

It took a few seconds to get the water to be a sweet mixture of cold and hot. Once the temperature was right, I stepped underneath the warm water and sighed as the water caressed my body. It felt strangely good. I picked up the shampoo and lathered my hair in the stuff. I rinsed my hair of the strawberry scented shampoo and began to massage conditioner into my hair.

I spent quite a while in the shower, scrubbing my body with sweet smelling soaps and washing it off, rinsing and repeating.

Once I felt like there was no new skin left to scrub, I turned off the water and hopped out. I wrapped the towel around my body and stared into the mirror. Nothing had physically changed (except the scars) but I was a completely different person. I looked dead and empty.

I picked up the comb and began to untangle the knots out of my hair. This took a while but eventually I was done. I braided my hair to the side.

I left the bathroom and entered into my room. Without giving it much thought, I chose a simple t-shirt and jeans and slowly dressed myself.

My bed looked incredibly inviting and suddenly I felt tired. My eyes were heavy and my body begged for me to curl into a ball and sleep. I gave into my temptation, crawling into my bed and pulling the covers over me. In all fairness, I had done a lot more today than I had in the past couple of months. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off to sleep.

When I woke, the sun was high in the sky. I figured it was just after midday. I stretched, sighing softly before it hit me. I hadn't had a nightmare. Instead, my nightmare was replaced with images of Peeta. I wouldn't exactly call it a dream. It was more so just images and memories that crept up on me while I slept.

This was the first time I had slept without experiencing any nightmares since the nights in the training centre before the Quarter Quell, when Peeta had been there.

A chill ran through my body and I shivered, not bothering to give it any more thought. My stomach growled and I decided it was time to get out of bed. I knew that I was beginning to get hungry again but I felt like I needed to be outdoors. I needed the fresh air. I vaguely recall Greasy Sae once mentioning that my bow and arrows were near the front door.

Today, I would go hunting.

I swallowed back my irrational fear of leaving the house and pulled on my boots. I went down the stairs and headed for the front door. There it was; my bow and arrows leaning against the wall. Had I really not ventured through the house enough to see these?

I picked up the bow and arrow and with a deep breath, I opened the front door. It pained me to see the house across from me. I just wanted Peeta to return, although I wasn't even sure if he ever would. The thought of never seeing Peeta again made my chest ache in a way that I was unfamiliar with and it scared me.

I closed my door behind me and began to make my way to the woods. I didn't know if going there would bring back any dark memories but I knew that I had to try. I was sure that Greasy Sae would like some fresh game to work with. I knew that I also needed to do this for myself; I was afraid that if I stopped for too long I would forget how.

All too quickly, I was at the fence that surrounded cut off District 12 from the woods. Out of habit, I waited a moment to hear if the buzz of electricity which meant the fence was alive but expectedly, there was nothing. I didn't think that it would ever be turned on again.

I slid through the small opening of the fence. Once I was on the other side, I stood there for a few seconds to let it all soak in. I had not left the comfort of my home for a very long time and I grew worried that I would have a meltdown or something and not make it back home. No one would come looking for me. No one would even be able to find me.

I journeyed towards the woods with my bow and arrow in hand, ready to aim and shoot if I saw any game. The woods were alive everywhere I looked. The mockingjays sung high up in the trees, the bushes were coloured with berries and turkeys, squirrels and other native animals scurrying along the forest floor.

After a while, I had got two turkeys and a squirrel. I figured that was enough for now but I did not want to go home yet. Instead, I decided to head for the meadow where Gale and I often spent our time together.

Being here brought memories of Gale and I that threatened to overwhelm me, but I desperately fought them away. I was beginning to feel like my old self again and I wouldn't let memories of him ruin that.

When I reached the meadow, I slumped down onto the floor letting my legs sprawl out in front of me. I hadn't sat down since I left the house and I was exhausted. I did not have the same energy that I used to have.

I placed my fresh game next to me alongside my bow and arrow and lay down. From here I could see the sky. I felt a stab of pain as my grey eyes scanned the scenery above me. The sun was going to set soon and the sky was painted with many shades of orange. This was his favourite colour.

The thought of not even knowing whether he was okay or not left a deep hole in my chest that could not be filled until I knew if he was safe. If I actually decided to pick up Dr. Aurelius' calls, would he tell me how Peeta was going or did he need to keep that confidential? I made a mental note to pick up the phone next time it rang. The pain in my chest was becoming too much to bare. I needed to know if he was okay. I had tried many times to diminish my thoughts that wandered to Peeta but he always had a way of creeping back in.

The sun was slowly sinking down the horizon and I decided to take off home again. I knew I wouldn't make it back by dark but I knew these woods well enough to be able to find my way home.

I stuffed the dead animals into my game bag and began in the direction that would take me home.

When I arrived, Greasy Sae was waiting on my porch, sporting a worried expression. She caught a glimpse of me and sighed with relief.

"Katniss! I was so worried when I came and you weren't here. I didn't know where you went."

I bit my lip, feeling increasingly guilty. I hadn't left my house since I returned so of course it was reasonable for Sae to be worried. I should have left a note.

"I thought you would enjoy some fresh meat to work with." I smiled in response and pointed towards the turkey and squirrel.

We went into the house and I sat at the table as she prepared the food for us to eat. I wanted to get up and help her but I felt absolutely drained from my little hunting trip that I felt like I wouldn't even be able to stay awake to eat.

"Katniss," I felt someone shaking me awake.

"The food is ready. I think you fell asleep for a little bit."

Oops, that was the one thought on my mind I had before I had fallen asleep; not to fall asleep.

"Thank you for waking me. I am pretty hungry." I admitted sheepishly. "The food smells absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much Sae."

She had prepared a stew with turkey meat. I gobbled it down quickly, burning my tongue in the process.

When we were both finished our meals, I washed the dishes and thanked her for coming. I felt like I owed her the world for looking after me for so long. I still didn't know if this was out of kindness or if she was paid for it, either way I was incredibly grateful.

"Let me walk you out." I smiled, gesturing for the door.

As I waved her goodbye, something in the corner of my eye caught my attention.

I swore I could physically feel my heart stop before it began to beat so loudly that I couldn't hear anything else.

I spun around, looking directly at the house across from mine.

Peeta's house.

Peeta's house had lights on. The lights were on. Someone was home.

Without bothering to shut my own front door, I sprinted towards his house. I did not knock.

I burst into his house. My mind was all over the place and my heart was still beating like crazy.

Was Peeta here?

I took another step forward and held my breath as a shadow emerged from the darkness.

There he was; standing at the end of the hallway. He was dressed in grey sweatpants at a white shirt. A wide smile spread across his face and his eyes came to life.

"Peeta." I whispered before everything turned black and I felt my cheek against the cool, tiled floor.