Barry shudders and desperately tries to adjust his hips so that the thrusts wouldn't be this intense but with no avail. The other man's hand is still around his throat, not really suffocating him but holding him in place.
It isn't a painful touch, which makes the whole situation so much worse.
Thawne grunts and changes his rhythm which catches Barry off-guard. He hisses softly and digs his fingers deeper into the mattress he is lying on.
Having the other man in him doesn't exactly hurt, not with the amount of lube and preparation he used on him, but it is such a horrible intimate feeling. It is similar to the way it felt when he was raped before - aside from the pain - as it is an utterly humiliating and mortifying experience. Maybe even worse now.
Barry tenses up when Thawne stops and, despite not wanting to, he opens his eyes slightly and squints up to him. The man frowns down at him, his expression is not angry but rather concerned and he hates him so much for this.
"Am I hurting you?"
This asinine questions causes another couple of tears to pass his eyelids and slid down the sides of his face in sheer frustration and desperation. He wants to scream yes, so badly. Not that it would make any difference.
"Shhh," shushes Thawne in a low and warm voice and moves the hand that has been on his throat so that it is covering his right cheek:" I have got carried away again, hm?"
Barry hates him, he hates the way he looks at him, the way he talks to him. As if he was actually concerned about him, as if this wasn't rape.
"It needs time," goes Thawne on, in this nearly tender voice and starts to caress his cheek with his thumb:" It always takes time before it becomes enjoyable but that doesn't mean that it has to hurt."
He adjusts his position again, so that he is actually kneeing, partly slipping out of Barry, which is such a damn relief, even if it is just momentarily, and reaches for a pillow. Carefully, he urges him to lift his hips so that he can push it under him. Barry really doesn't want to, he really, really doesn't, because he knows what now follows.
Still, disobeying would only mean pain and he is tired of this, of all of this.
After Thawne is satisfied with his new position, he sits back again and pushes inside him once more, which causes Barry to shudder in horror and disgust.
"Shhh," hushes the other man softly and briefly rubs his right thigh:" I will take care of you."
Barry feels how more tears start to run down his face and he presses his eyes shut as he feels a warm and big hand close around his limp penis.
"You will like this."
Barry just wants this to end.
