Do you know who can't swim? Princess.

Do you know who also can't swim? Doc.

But this story isn't about swimming. This is about another tragedy which befell someone else because they lacked the ability to do something basic.

This.. is the story of Jafar and his inability to... reproduce.

That's right. Jafar due to idling too long at a green traffic light had lost the ability to have children.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

To adequately tell this story I will have to start back at the beginning.

Mr. Wilbur was a milkman. He had suffered from a debilitating disease himself: The Black Plague.

That's right, Mr. Wilbur suffered from Y. Pestis after accidently sealing a mouse in a milk bottle and then drinking from it. Probably one of Mickey's nephews. You know, the ones that only appear in the Christmas specials and sometimes thanksgiving or valentines day to give you the IMPRESSION that Mickey and Minnie actually serve as an okee doke couple? Yeah, those little bastards.

Anyway, after drinking from the bottle Mr. Wilbur immediately fell victim to the disease.

Mrs. Jafar (Read: Jafar's Mom, not his wife) still decided to have an affair with Mr. Wilbur regardless of this fact. Kind of serves as a commentary on the quality of Jafar's dad, doesn't it?

Well, it doesn't. You were wrong. Daft arse.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, does this mean that Jafar is the love child of an affair between a diseased milkman and some lady with a horrible nondescript name that winds up making me picture a female Jafar, goatee beard and all? Thaaat explains so much."

Nope, wrong. Mr. Wilbur and Jafar have NO connection whatsoever, I just said I'd start from the beginning and damn it that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So Wilbur went bankrupt when the affair went public because some boy named Pence turned out to be a window watcher/people peeper and took photos of Mrs. Jafar's scandalous love life.

Those photos the Nobody's stole, not all of them were recovered.

Just what sort of game did Ansem the Wise make anyway, and I know what you're thinking "This explains so much and that dirty old man is a perv."

Well it actually explains very little and a lot is still left unsaid, you're jumping to conclusions again! But yes. Yes it does.

So Pence fancied himself a budding journalist and started investigating other things.

The girl's change room being the mystery he sought out to solve immediately. He was subsequently arrested but not before he decided to investigate the mystery of Bambi's love life.

Now.. what does this all have to do with Jafar?

Well, that's when I explain it this way:

Sark, lodged in digital limbo and played by the immensely talented David Warner but you guys only know him as being played by Corey Burton (NOT related to Barry Burton, but actually is) is written by Ed Dillinger, was the commander of the MCP's army and overseer of the games fought on the Game Grid. He was a merciless and evil program, willing to do anything that pleased the MCP. Sark was in charge of forcing the programs that believed in the users to play video game type gladiator games with personnel from Sark's Army as the opponents. He looked forward to playing Pooh Sticks when he had the chance. So ruthless was Sark that he was described as "Brutal and Needlessly Sadistic" by the MCP himself and was deleted.

Roo journeyed into the matrix (Read: Ansem's computer, the pervy place) and retrieved the pooh stick lodged within. Deleting the harddrive, all my data and notes on this story and

The End.