Most people give missingno a horrible personality of a sociopath, so I thought I'd give it a slightly nicer one. I don't own pokemon.
Hello. My name is Perl. I'm a Porygon.
My trainer is named Ceyla. She's crazy about ghosts, which makes you wonder why a normal type like me is on her team. Well, it happened that one day…
I sat at the back of the casino, in a little cage. It was cramped. I couldn't phase through it. My powers were being suppressed by that son of a gun Grunt. There's a few friends I'd made in the time I had been alive. There was Caramel, the Clefairy. I only knew him for a week before he was freed, bought by some rich kid. From what I've heard through the psychics, he was really happy where he was. Then there was Melia, the Dratini, a sweet little girl who got trapped here some time ago. She was here for at least a year before some freaky guy with spiky red hair bought her. She's now a top tier battler, from what I know. Apparently the freak was also a member of the Elite 4. I longed to see those two some day, but it never came. I never was freed.
Until some girl with a powdery white face and black makeup walked up to the counter and said,
"I want the shiny Porygon in the corner!"
That was the day I was freed.
Soon I came to know her name, her Pokémon's names, make her and her teammates my teammates. There was Mirage the Gengar, who liked potato salad in more than an unhealthy manner. There was Velvet, the Venomoth whose silk could be woven into, you guessed it, velvet. It was how we got the cash that pays for our meals and healing and such.
But something was sort of off. I loved Mirage and Ceyla and Velvet all the same, of course. But there was something I wanted. Something I really wanted desperately.
I wanted to have a ... gender. Laugh all you want. I can't breed naturally. I'm referred to as 'it.' Being called 'it' is pretty dehumanizing. I always felt I was the only one with this problem.
Until that night when I met it.
It was along a beach, though I forget which.
It was sitting there, along the coast.
It was at first, a box, a funny looking one.
I sensed power from it so I said hello.
It whirled around, alarmed.
Oh, hello. Who are you?
Its form dissolved as it spoke, and it reformed as a ghost. I took a step back.
Don't worry, I won't hurt you, um…what are you… are you a he or a she?
I-I'm an 'it'.
It's okay. I am an 'it,' too.
Okay. What is your name?
My what?
Your name… what you are called…
Nobody has ever called me anything.
I scanned it. Whatever it was, it wasn't an officially recorded Pokémon.
Your number is missing from my data. You're a missing number.
Perhaps I shall call myself missing number…
No, that's too sad. I think you should call yourself something cute…
Cute? What's 'cute?'
It's something that makes people want to hug you.
I don't know what a hug is either.
I floated up, and got close to it. I don't have any arms, but I nuzzled my head into its neck. Its scary ghost form dissipated and became a skeleton of an ancient Pokémon. It wrapped its arms around me. I started humming.
This feels warm. Nice and warm…I like this. Is this a hug?
Yes, this is a hug.
Can…can you stay for a while?
I can't. I have to go somewhere.
Is it okay if I go with you? I want to do that again…it made me feel good.
You can come with me. Can you turn into that ghost again? The person I'm meeting likes that form.
It regenerated as the ghost. A bit eerie, yes, but appearances didn't matter much.
Follow me, and I'll take you to meet that person.
What shall we call me?
I don't know about anybody else, but I want to call you Missingno.
Is that cute?
Yes. It's really cute.
Okay.
Missingno?
Yes?
Do you ever feel bad about being an 'it'?
No, never. I don't care. There are plenty of 'its' out there... besides, I used to be a real Pokemon.
Really?
Yeah, a Marowak. Female. Graveyard guardian. I was killed. They tried taking my memories and putting them in a computer, so they could turn me into another Pokemon... it didn't work, so they discarded my files into a radio station on this beach... and here I am.
So you're a girl?
No. I'm an 'it'.
Oh.
What's your name, by the way?
Perl. My name is Perl.
I want to ask you a question, Perl.
Okay, fire away.
Do YOU feel bad about being an 'it'?
Yes...
Why?
Because it's not even normal.
It's plenty normal, Perl. I can name a ton of Pokemon who have no genders.
Really?
Yes, Perl. There are Ditto, Magnemite, Electrode, Staryu, Baltoy, and Unown. Do you know the population of these Pokemon?
No.
Each exceeds at least 780000 living individuals.
Wow! How did you know that?
While I was in the computer.
I see...
Do you still feel bad?
N-no... thanks.
The End!
