So I don't know where to start. My friends gave me this journal and told me to write everything down. I don't know if I can. I hurt so much I don't know if I can live through this again. But I'm damned well gonna try.

I guess I should start at the beginning it was almost a year ago so bear with me, after all this is how it all started.

October 19 2012

Ohmigod! I can't believe all of that happened I'm shocked I have no idea how to react! Brayden and I had our first date today! Actually I had my first ever date today! Can you believe that and better yet he's a junior! A junior went on a date with a lowly sophomore like me! I can't believe it! Haha I guess I should say how we met in the first place haha so it in French class isn't that romantic! The language of love and well we became friends but like we were always flirting with each other like seriously all the time! We were constantly hugging poking and stuff the little things just to get close to each other. So anyway Brayden just moved to Sleepy Hollow from West Virginia and since he didn't know the area I offered to show him around our little town so he's a bookworm just like me so I showed him the new and used bookstore and wait till you hear this… in the bookstore I knocked over a display shelf with my school bag! Right in front of him I was so mortified! But he was so sweet about it he even helped me pick up the books which he totally didn't have to do. Then we just wandered aimlessly around town HOLDING HANDS and we never ever ran out of things to talk about. It was just… perfect. We made our way over to the really good smoothie place in town, when he just suddenly stopped and I looked at his lips because I really wanted him to kiss me and before I knew it I was in his arms and we were kissing! EEK! My first kiss cause the sorry excuse of a kiss I got on the last day of freshman year doesn't count. The kiss I got wasn't he one that I was expecting. Our lips met and before I knew it his tongue was in my mouth so I did what any person would do when they have no idea how to kiss... I followed his lead and kissed him back; when we both pulled apart we didn't say anything and then I realized that he had just kissed me in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the smoothie store. Then near the end of the date I was walking him to the train station since even though he was 17 he didn't have his license or even a permit, and we were discussing our fave kinds of music and mine being country and his being some weird punk rock emo thing didn't see eye to eye on our music choice and I made a comment about some band he liked and I thought was just eh… he stopped again turned me around and kissed me again. Except this time he did something really weird…when he kissed me he used his teeth… I can't really explain it I didn't know that you could kiss with teeth but apparently Brayden can.

When we kissed we skipped the nervous little pecks and went straight for the tongue and to be honest it wasn't that weird I had no idea what I was doing so I just followed his lead. Like tbh I wasn't grossed out by it but I don't see what's so amazing about it either. But kissing Brayden idk it just felt natural.

When we finally got to the train station we sat down on a bench and kinda snuggled. I swear this boy is perfect! Then when his train came we kissed goodbye again and my bag fell to the ground and Brayden pulled me closer and oh my god it was the best feeling in the world. When he let me go I swept in once more time and I gave him a chaste peck on the lips and then we parted ways….

That's all for now xoxo -Sydney