Author's Note: It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. This story starts around the time of season 1, episode 5 (U.K. episode number).
Disclaimer: I'm not even a custodian, my dears, let alone an owner. These characters and their settings are the work of others. I hope I do not offend with my homage.
"Milady," Branson remarked, "have you heard that the Massey-Harris Company is trying to produce a Reaper-Thresher with an inte—"
"What are you saying?" Lady Edith interrupted from the passenger seat, meaning 'Why are you speaking to me, when I haven't spoken to you?'
The chauffeur, oblivious to the unspoken question, answered the audible one, though in a way his reply served as an answer to both. "I couldn't help overhearing the other day when you said to his lordship that—"
"What?!"
Fatally, at that moment the car's tires hit a patch of the road where the macadamized surface was unravelling. Branson was distracted by his actual business, so once again responded to Lady Edith's words, rather than her tone.
"I said, 'I couldn't help but overhear the other day when you said—'"
Lady Edith could not believe it. And he actually had the gall to repeat it. How DARE he? "Pull over, Branson."
He glanced back to look at her, thinking he'd misheard. "What was that, milady?"
"So now you're deaf? Pull this motor off the road. Now!"
Startled, he obeyed, then again turned back to look at her over his shoulder. "What is it, milady?"
"Cut off the engine."
"But aren't we—"
"I shouldn't be having to repeat myself, Branson."
He faced forward again so he could cut off the engine.
This time when he started to turn back to her she stopped him. "No need to turn around. I have it on the best authority that you can hear what I say perfectly from there while facing forward."
Lady Edith could see that Branson had at last figured out what the problem was. She couldn't see his face, but he must be blushing: his ears were red. Lady Edith shifted in her seat so she could see at least part of his face in the side mirror: what she could see of his cheek was indeed crimson, and his lips were slightly parted. His breath had quickened, but he knew better than to speak. Seeing it, Lady Edith strove to keep her voice mild. "Branson, I strongly recommend you expunge the word "overhear" from your vocabulary. We know that you can hear what we say in the motor, but it is never appropriate for you to remark upon the fact that you have heard anything. You must pretend you have not heard. That is your sacred trust as a chauffeur. The things you hear in the course of your duties are not conversational fodder.
"Anything I have said to my father, I have said to him, not to you. If I want to say something to you, I will address you directly. If I want information from you, I will ask you directly. Otherwise, you should not be speaking to me unless you have a legitimate business reason for doing so. We are not friends. You are a servant; I am your employer.
"I won't ask if you've heard me, since I know you have, but do you understand why I'm saying this?"
"Yes, milady." His voice was soft, but since he was still facing forward, she could not really tell how he was taking her reprimand. She decided to ask, as she had just stated she would. "Do you resent my having spoken to you in this way, Branson?" She watched his mouth in the mirror. He moistened his lips, then began, "I—" he stopped himself immediately, and said instead, "No, milady."
Lady Edith thought about letting that end the matter, but she wanted to be sure it really was ended. "I can see you want to say something else, Branson. What is it?" He did turn around to face her then. His gaze dipped down for a moment submissively, then he met her eyes. "I just wanted to say thank you, milady, for setting me straight."
Lady Edith thought at first he might be making fun of her, but as she studied the chauffeur's expression, equal parts mortification, gratitude, and respect, she realized he was serious. She nodded in acknowledgement. "Very well. We'll say no more about it, then. I think we're ready for the road. You may now start the motor and take us home."
Branson climbed down to crank the motor back to life.
