Spoilers if you have not yet seen "Shoved In My Face" also a spoiler for Chicago PD in 3…2…1…Not sure if any of you may have caught Chicago PD but OMG! It was amazing! Anybody else notice both Chicago PD and Chicago Fire had premiere episodes where a main person in the character's lives was killed on the job? I LOVE that voight seems like such a good in this too! Plus the bonus of seeing our lovely Chicago Fire characters on the show was awesome! As far as the new episode of Chicago fire… I have to say they threw a curve ball I NEVER would have expected the problems to come up after Casey's recovery. I'm not a fan of him acting like nothing's wrong and I KNOW it's going to cause Dawsey problems..so this is based on the promo for next week. Also Mills on squad, Clark innocent and Casey asking Dawson to move in! So awesome!
Disclaimer; I own nothing.
Gabby stood at the counter in her boyfriend's home- millions of thoughts were running through her head, she turned to look over at the duffle bag she'd packed which now lay in the hallway near the door. It was just her luck that just when things were finally working out for her and Matt, something like this would occur. She should have known better then to get her hopes up. Because now she stood in his kitchen, on the day they had set to go hunting for a place they would make their own memories—a place they would make their home, and she was trying to find the right words to say to make this less painful.
Memories of the night before replayed in her head, her and Matt had gone out to celebrate their three month anniversary when Jay had just so happened to walk into the same restaurant. He smiled and gave a quick to the pair who were seated a few tables away. He hadn't meant anything by it but Matt took it as disrespectful; causing a scene with his screaming match before finally punching Jay and pushing him over a nearby table. Gabby grabbed onto Matt's shoulder all begging for him to stop, to end the situation. In the mist of shaking her off his shoulder he threw his arm back knocking Gabby into the nearby security guard who was just approaching to end the fight. He apologized over and over again, but she reassured it him was fine.
She lied. She hadn't slept that night, it was nearly four in the morning when she'd realized she wouldn't be able to get any sleep so she had gotten out of bed, grabbing a bag and emptying the contents of the dresser drawers he had cleared for her, into each bag. She stared at the empty wooden compartments, remembering how her heart had smiled when he'd show them to her.
"That way you won't have to live out of a bag… You'll probably be here anyway until we find a place of our own right?"
Tears filled her eyes at the memory; the way he'd looked so nervous showing her the empty drawers. But she knew she couldn't allow the memories takeover what was going on now. He hadn't been awake yet but she was sure when he finally did get up, it wouldn't be long before he noticed her lotion, and toothbrush had been packed. God why did this have to be so painful; she was broken from her thoughts when she felt two strong arms reach around her waist.
"Hey baby, what's with the bag by the door? Are you picking up an extra shift at the firehouse or something?"
"No."
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Last night…whatever that was- it wasn't you Matt. I have never seen you act like that in my life."
"Gabby I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I just…"
"I think we both know what happened." He could hear her voice break, filled with tears. Gently he turned her around in his arms and he felt his heart shatter when she had backed out of his embrace, instead wrapping her own arms around her.
"Baby what…"
"I didn't tell my landlord I was leaving yet…I think for a while I'm going to stay at my place."
"Gabby…"
"Matt we both know this isn't you…and I don't want to leave you when you need help the most, but…if you won't admit something's wrong then I can't help you."
"Gabby I'm okay, I swear to…"
"I didn't sign up for this…I'm sorry. I can't watch you crumble- I won't watch you hurt yourself by not admitting you need help. I can't act like everything is okay."
She could see his eyes fill with water, before a lonely tear managed to escape; making its way down his cheek, to the floor. "Baby… You don't have to leave, I…I'm okay…" She had to leave, she knew she had to leave now or she wouldn't be able to any longer. She stood on her tippy toes before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"I love you, Matthew Casey and I will love you forever—I will be here whenever you need me…but until then I can't pretend like everything is fine."
Gabby began to walk toward the front door, grabbing her keys off the key rack and leaning down to grab her duffle bag.
"Gabby…"
Against her better judgment she turned around, he stood in the hall tears falling down his face, his eyes red with sadness. He ran to her before throwing his arms around her, trying to hold onto her…she gave in allowing her hands to wrap around his neck before releasing the sobs she'd been holding in.
"Please don't leave me, please…baby please, god please don't leave me. I love you, I …"
"Matt…"
"No no no please…baby please…I'm so sorry, please…" Gabby pulled away knowing if she allowed him to say anything else she wouldn't be able to leave him. She quickly turned around running out the door and to her car. Matt sat in disbelief watching as she drove away. He stood up running his hand through his hair before leaning against the wall and sliding down, putting his head into his hands and sobbing.
By the time Gabby made it back to her apartment she felt as though she was going to hyperventilate. She knew she needed to calm herself down before it got too out of control. Taking a few deep breaths she picked up her phone and dialed Shay's number.
"You mean to tell me you're sharing a bed with Casey and you still have time for me?"
"Hey…"
"Gabby? Are you…crying? What's wrong?"
"Can you come over?"
"Yeah sure I'm actually in Matt's neighborhood now so I won't be too long."
"My house."
"Gabby?"
"I'll see you soon…"
"Okay, I love you girl."
"Love you too, Shay."
She was gone; every little bit of her was gone. The only proof she'd ever been here was the smell of her perfume on his pillow. She was only gone a little over an hour but it felt like weeks. How was he supposed to go on every day without her? Now that he knew what it felt like to hold her, to kiss those perfect lips; now that he knew what it was like to freely admit their feelings to one another…he couldn't just forget all of that… he couldn't forget that he loved her. Matt grabbed his third beer in under an hour from the fridge walking over to his couch and sitting down. God he missed her so much already…how…how could he do this without her…how could he live without her? He couldn't.
