Amanda and Olivia have been dating for 6 months...


Amanda came stumbling in the door at 2am reeking of cigarettes and alcohol. Olivia noticed right away as she had been up waiting and worrying about her girlfriend when she didn't call after work like promised. Amanda didn't bother turning the lights on as she knew her apartment well. Throwing her jacket on the back of the chair she headed toward the couch to sleep. Once her boots were off she grabbed the blanket off the floor lying down onto the couch.

"What the hell?!" She shrieked grabbing for her gun when she realized someone else was there

"Hey, it's just me Olivia, don't shoot." She said turning on the lamp. "I got worried when you didn't call. That's why I waited up. Why were you going to sleep on the couch?"

"I went out to get a couple drinks after everything went down with that murder case I was involved in." Amanda explained. "I knew you had the early shift so I didn't wanna wake you getting in so late."

Olivia nodded. "Well, I called Fin, he said you were going to a meeting and denied drinks with him. So, I called Nick and switched shifts with him since I didn't know what was going on with you. You had me worried."

"I'm sorry." Amanda whispered lowering her head to hide the tears threatening to fall from lying about her night. Olivia wrapped her into a hug and kissed the top of her forehead. She knew the blonde wasn't being completely honest but didn't have the energy to argue with her. She got up taking Amanda's hand leading her to the bedroom. They slipped into bed snuggling up to one another before drifting off to sleep.

For Olivia, it was a sleepless night even with Amanda by her side. She had nightmares of the upcoming trial with Lewis and having to relive it all again. She woke up screaming, forgetting where she was for a minute. Amanda was quick to wake up. She wrapped her arms around Olivia holding her tight while reassuring her all would be okay. Brown eyes met blue, and she slowly started to relax. They layed back down, but neither went back to sleep.

The duo walked into the precinct around 11 the next day. Lucky for them the boys had been called out already. There wouldn't be any questions for awhile. "Mornin' ladies" Fin said walking in. "Rough night?" Neither of the women responded since they were too caught up in their thoughts. Fin shrugged it off figuring Olivia was thinking of the trial, but knew something was up with Amanda when she didn't respond. He sat on the chair next to her desk trying to get her attention.

"I'm kinda busy…. What do you want Fin?" Amanda asked angrily.

"Just seeing how you were. You're quiet, I just wanted to check in is all."

"I'm fine." She snapped. "Can I get back to work please?" Fin nodded and made his way to his desk. Olivia noticed the heated exchange of words making a mental note to talk to Amanda later. It was a slow day of just paperwork leaving the two ladies to their thoughts. Amanda felt guilty for not being honest with her girlfriend. She just couldn't stand the look of disappointment and the conversation that would go with it. Olivia was busy thinking of the next day, her trial and how to bring up what she knew about Amanda without a big scene. Fin was worried about both his girls. Knowing the trial was eating up Liv. He just wished he could decipher what was going on with his partner. Amaro was typing away completely oblivious to everything. He just wanted to get home to his daughter Zara. The captain snapped them all out of their minds coming out of his office. "We have a case. Fin, Rollins go to the scene. Benson, Amaro go interview the victim at the hospital." They all grabbed their coats heading out.

"So, you wanna tell me what's up Rollins?" Fin asked once they got in the car. She shook her head, staring out the window. She thought back to the night before.

"Want to go get a drink?" Fin asks

"Rain check? I need to go to a meeting" Fin nodded then she walked off. Walking into the casino, sitting down at the black jack table she placed a bet.

"13" the dealer said. "Hit me" she responds "16"… "Hit me." Bust.

"You're out of chips you can either buy more or leave." Lighting another cigarette she leaves waiting for a cab to go home.

"We're here" Fin says bringing her back to reality. They exit and start talking to the neighbors and the witnesses standing around. None of the information was very helpful. A medium sized white guy with sunglasses and a hat was the best description they were going to get.

At the hospital, Olivia and Nick were trying to get Amy, the victim to open up about the man who attacked her. She didn't remember much, but some of the details gave Liv a few flashbacks to her night with Lewis. She left her card, thanked her and quickly left. It was too much for her. When all were back at the precinct and had briefed their captain, he sent them home so they could get a fresh start in the morning after court. "Hey, you okay?" Amanda asked Olivia pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Our vic's statement gave me a few flashbacks. I don't think I handled it too well." She responded as she started relaxing in the blonde's arms.

"Come on, let's go home."

Once at home, they sit down on the couch. Olivia is the first to speak. "Amanda, why is it so hard for you to tell me what's going on? I thought we agreed no more secrets. I feel you are hiding something from last night. I believe you, but you left something out didn't you?" Amanda started fidgeting with her hands before nodding. She took a few moments to try and figure out how to say it.

"I... I didn't want to admit I was at a... a casino. I know I screwed up bad. I lost $200 at the blackjack table. I couldn't tell you. I was guilty, ashamed and did not wanna put any more stress on you. I-I'm sorry." she sobbed.

"You could have told me. You know I'll help you with whatever you need. And after tomorrow, I should be fine." She responded. They sat up talking for another hour before calling it a night. Olivia had a big day the next morning.

They pulled up to the courthouse at 8:30, greeted by Fin, Amaro and the Captain. They made small talk while waiting for court to start against Barba's better judgment. It seemed to drag on, twenty minutes in felt like hours. No one expected Lewis to be his own attorney; everyone was thrown for a loop. Amaro was first on the stand. He answered the questions the best he could trying to be objective. Fin was next; he was questioned on possibly setting up the evidence and tampering with the crime scene. It was far from the truth, he didn't tamper with anything. Amanda was next. He accused her of holding a grudge since he was let off after she arrested him for no reason and she could have rigged the evidence. She said no she touched nothing in the apartment. He brought up her recent case. Lewis also tried to prove she was blinded by love. Which she denied. How did he find out anyway is what she wanted to know. No one knew but her and Olivia. The captain was even called as a witness. He said he'd forced Olivia to take time off because he thought the case was a bit hard for her. No one felt they did Olivia any justice and everything was made worse. "We failed Olivia." Fin mumbled walking out the door. They all nodded in agreement. After the 30 minute recess it'd be Olivia's turn to take the stand. Amanda feared it would break her down good. She only hoped the jury would see the case for what it was. Lewis was a liar and manipulated the system. Olivia excused herself and made her way to the ladies room. Amanda waited a minute or two before following as not to look suspicious.

"Hey…" Amanda whispered walking in on Olivia who was at the sink. "You got this, don't worry. He's going away for life this time."

"I hope so Manda, I really want this over." They shared a kiss then Olivia made her way to the table while Amanda went outside for some air. Nick asked about Amanda, but Liv swore she never seen her.

"I hope she's good." Fin muttered before taking a big chunk out of his sandwich.


Olivia got up on the stand and told her story. She answered all the questions Barba threw at her with ease. She got nervous when Lewis stood up though. He badgered her, tried to get her to break down and even get angry once. For a split second, she almost broke, but kept it together repeating that she only hit him until he was subdued. When the jury stated their verdict, William Lewis was only charged for the two lesser crimes filed against him. Barba was going to throw the book at him during sentencing to get him maximum time. Everyone congratulated Liv on a job well done during her testimony. She asked to have a minute before they went back to the precinct. She sat in the stairwell and finally let the tears fall. Maybe this nightmare was finally over.

Over the next few weeks, Amanda helped Olivia get through some of the damage the trial caused. It was a slow process with nightmares still popping up here and there. But she was becoming the Olivia they used to know, brave and fearless. They caught the man who had hurt Amy. It turns out it was Nate, the man who got Amanda mixed up in a murder. That entire trial/case worked her up causing her to lose all she worked for by going to gamble that night. Nate wasn't even sent to jail since the charges didn't stick when Amy backed out. Even though it was awhile ago, it was still fresh in her mind. She hurt Olivia by lying to her. During the time though, Amanda slipped up a few times by going back to the casino. The one time she attempted it, she was busted by her girlfriend who followed her after work. Amanda said the word "Hit me" to the black jack dealer right before getting smacked in the back of the head by a very annoyed Olivia. "You said you were done Amanda." Liv scolded dragging her out of the casino then drove her straight to a meeting. "I don't know why you let this guy get to you so much." Olivia said once they returned to the apartment.

Soon four months had passed with both doing good. No more lies and sneaking off to casinos for Amanda. As for Olivia her therapy sessions were done which included no more nightmares. Things were once again normal. That was until 10pm on a Wednesday night when Liv's phone went off. She picked it up putting it on speaker as it was the captain. He sounded different, almost panicked.

"Liv, I just wanted to call and let you know William Lewis has escaped prison. He used a seizure as his cover so when they rushed him for treatment, he attacked the doctor then killed the guard. He also took the officer's gun. You shouldn't be alone."

"I'll go to Amanda's. Her place is the closest. I'll let you know when I get there." With that she hung up and threw her phone against the wall. All Amanda could do was hold her when she collapsed into her arms.


A/N: Not sure it reads as good as I thought... Should I abandon this now or keep going?