A/N

Okay so this is the first fanfic I've ever actually published on here or really anywhere. The storyline is very loosely based on the actual movie which is AMAZING. I started on this years ago and now I'm finally finally going to post it. And we'll see where things go, I guess. Enjoy :)

Btw I do not own Natty Gann as a character however I do own the storyline and all entries from here out are unique and my own.


It'd been a year since I saw him last and internally I began to think that he had forgotten me. I couldn't lie and say I had forgotten him but girls' minds were encrypted differently than boys' weren't they? He'd probably gotten married, as was custom and had settled down in Ireland. He was probably working hard and making a half decent living for his child or children.

This hurt, thinking about him and his new life. It hurt knowing he probably didn't remember me. After all I was "just some childish girl" to him and in Ireland there were much prettier and daintier women. It was a once in a life-time chance and I had thrown it away in search for my father.

But was it too much to ask for; finding my father? In fact if I meant anything to him at all, if I was more than "just some childish girl" then he'd have made an effort to contact me. There, the truth spoken out loud. The thing I didn't want to hear, I had just voiced.

I had found my father and rejoined him in attempt to start a new life in London and if he cared even a little about me he knew where to find me. I hadn't left or moved anywhere, so it wasn't like it would be hard to! In fact London was really just too much of a bad memory to me that sometimes I wondered why I even stayed at all. It reminded me constantly of how I had almost lost my father to the sea. However, had I not still stayed in waiting for him? But was it really his fault that I had stayed or was it the fact that I was afraid of what I might find if I went to find him instead? Was it that I was so scared about him moving on and me not being able to face the truth?

"Natty, Natty…NATTY?"

"YES, FATHER?"

"COME HERE, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!"

A surprise? Surprises used to be one of my favorite things as a child. I would run to my father, sit on his lap, and giggle like a schoolgirl. My father enjoyed these short spurts of me acting innocent and vulnerable; hardly ever did I act like a delicate flower.

"COMING!"

Today I wasn't in the mood to get excited, though I could feel the anxiety growing from the increase of adrenaline. It wasn't like there was a letter from a boy who made me the way I was now, quiet and overly sarcastic at times. In fact because of my new attitude many young boys in town had sparked an interest in me. Numerous men had come to my father asking for my hand in marriage. The first had been drunk and hadn't noticed my boy-like knickers and shirt. It was enough where my father, when politely saying no, laughed the entire time. After, exclaiming that if I could get a drunk's proposal dressed like a boy then I most certainly would get a decent man's proposal looking like a woman. The mere thought sickened me. I was a girl, yes, but I could care less about dressing like the women did today, with their too tight corsets and their long swallowing dresses. It was enough to make one gag; that one being me. Why couldn't I find a boy who liked me the way I was?

But I knew the answer deep down. I had found a boy who liked me the way I was and instead of jumping on the chance I had turned it down."

"NATTY?! WHERE ARE YOU, SILLY CHILD?"

"COMING, FATHER!"

He was sitting in his chair as always but instead of reading from the daily newspaper like usual he was instead leaning intently into a letter. Instantly my hopes soared.

"I've got a letter for you!"

This was it. This was the letter I had been waiting for. This was exactly why I had stayed here this whole entire time. I was about to become one of the happiest girls in the world. I just couldn't help my overexcitement.

"Why the excitement, Natty girl?"

Regrettably though, my father had no knowledge of this boy whom my dreams always centered around. He knew not of how I awaited his letter or of why I always insisted on staying in London though horrible dreams would sometimes engulf me at night because of it. He knew not why I declined every offer any young man would propose no matter how exquisite it might be. He didn't know the biggest part of me; him.

"Just happy, I suppose, that I've received a letter. "

The lies; they were a horrible thing to burden. So horrible that at times I almost told my father the truth. But to tell him that would be to admit that I was waiting for something that might never happen. Today was different though; today I was going to finally find him.

"Well I can tell you this, as mysterious as this letter is, I'm sure you'll be quite flattered at its detailing."

Mysterious? That had to be him. It had to! Oh I could just feel the joy radiating off me.

"Well go on then read it out loud!"

"Dear Miss Natty Gann," That's me! But why not just put Natty? No need to be proper. Or maybe it's for father.

"I know you may not remember me ..." Oh but I do! I always will!

"... but I assure you I do remember you. And I unregrettably can't stop thinking about you. I've spent this whole time thinking about what to write and how to write it. I've tried writing in the past but it's just not good enough in explaining how beautiful you are and how silly I feel when I know what I'm writing is just not enough."

"See, Natty, I told you this young man is mysterious as ever. But keep reading, will you, there's even more!"

"Since the first time I laid eyes on you I knew that something special was to be found. You're so confident though sometimes you may not show it and your beauty though hidden will always outshine the rest."

"The flattery detailing, Natty, he's gone mad!"

"I hope that though it's been awhile since we've seen each other you will consider meeting me in Celt Port, South Ireland, as there I'm holding a Celt Port Royal Ball that I wish for you to come to. In this envelope I've also included two tickets to Celt Port Dock; one for you and one for your father."

"A Royal Ball? Why Natty, this young man must be rich! He's even included two tickets! When did you ever meet such a fine fellow?"

Royal Ball? But why a Royal Ball? That would mean I'd have to dress up…in a DRESS?! He wouldn't make me do something like that would he? He knew what type of girl I was just by my attire and attitude when we first meet!

"Speechless, are you? Well, keep reading, Natty girl!"

"Hope you will come, as I am looking forward to getting to know you better."

Know me better? Why we spent weeks sailing the seas trying to find my father before we went our separate ways. This can't be…

"William Lafont Beddington"

All the air seemed to leave me at once. It wasn't him; it wasn't his letter. It was some other young man that I didn't even know.

"William Lafont Beddington? Why who is that?"

Who it was, was indeed a very good question. The name seemed vaguely familiar though I just couldn't place the face. Really I didn't care though it wasn't the letter I expected and I wasn't going to the ball either. Plain and simple.

"Natty, who is Mr. Beddington?"

"I honestly don't know nor do care. I'm not going!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I'd waited a year. I blasted year for a letter of some sort with proof that he was real. Anything would have been enough but instead all I had was a memory and fantasies of what I wished would happen.

"Natty girl, please tell me what's wrong? You were so excited at first and now you're upset. Was it the letter?"

My father was the best person in the world. He did as much as he could for me but this time there was nothing he could do about it. He wouldn't be able to make me forget or accept the probable. His fatherly powers were just not enough in this scenario.

"It's really nothing, just the thought of a ball and having to wear a big dress is ridiculous. It's too much trouble just to meet some boy who I don't remember nor want to meet."

That threw him for a loop. I don't think he was expecting such hostility from me or my answer. But I just couldn't help it; I hated this William Lafont Beddington already for getting my hopes up falsely by sending the letter. Childish maybe but I could care less.

"But Natty my girl. He may be the man you've been looking for. He's rich at least and he's …"

"NO! I will NOT go!"

At that I ran to my room and slammed the door. My father now knew about me wanting to marry someone for love rather than money. He knew that I'd meet all the boys once and if there was no spark I'd never see them again. It was a common practice now. Though my father was baffled at all the boys I rejected he respected my opinion and left things alone. After all him and my mother had married because of love rather than money or land or most importantly bloodline.

"Natty, please, can't we discuss this? Remember you've always said that you'd try and see if they're the one!"

"He's not the one! The one is somewhere in Ireland probably already married and with children of his own now!"

Oh no! I had done it now. I had went and told my father the one thing I didn't want him to know. Here I was blubbering like a little girl, the one thing I hated acting like, and spilling my heart out to my father about him.

"What? Natty, what was that you said?"

I didn't know how to respond. I really didn't want him to know the truth because then there would be the possibility of me wasting time on a boy who was never to truly be mine.

"Natty, please tell me, I couldn't hear you quite well because of the sobs and hiccupping. Tell me again."

He hadn't heard? Why thank the heavens. Stop crying like a girl and suck it up; time to stop pitying yourself and move on. Yes, that's what I'd do, I'd move on. This William boy didn't seem so bad. Why he had money and an original name and he probably was one of the most respected gentlemen in Celt Port, South Ireland. What a change, eh Natty girl? You need a change, don't ya?

That I did, but I didn't want to go. Something told me that he'd be like all the rest, dim witted and boring and simply just not him.

"Natty, please answer me. I hate to see you like so."

Well no time like the present, eh. Beginnings were something I hadn't quite gotten used to but I wasn't about to ruin the opportunity for my father to get out this wasteland we currently resided in. Anyway Ireland was originally my father's destination in the first place before the…the accident.

"I'm fine father; just throwing a little tantrum, silly really. I'll be down in a minute."

I don't think he really bought it but he left nonetheless and for that I was grateful. It was time. This was it. After all those nights of sitting outside watching the moon and asking the stars above for a sign this was it. This was what I had asked for and I had to take it regardless of what I might find or might not find. My waiting days were over it was time I searched for what I wanted instead of waiting for it to find me. Time for my new beginning.