Hokay, so. I'm on my third playthrough of this addicting game and this scene popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. Finished it in about 30 minutes, so it's probably a little rough around the edges. Any comments or feedback would be appreciated.
I'll probably be pretty sporadic with updates, but if anyone enjoyed this, please let me know and I'll post more things as they come to me. (Guess I'll just have to keep playing the game for inspiration. Damn.)
Hope this makes you laugh a little bit.
Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Kinda wish Brick was, though. Mmmmm...
...
The knowledge that we needed her was the only thing that stopped me from putting a round (or six) through her skull.
Hearing her grating voice on all those recordings, listening to her pathetic pontifications, and hunting her skinny ass all over fucking Pandora had not pre-disposed me to like Patricia Tannis. Having to deal with her in person made me seriously consider batshit insane scientist-icide.I had been prepared to work with her, because whether I liked it or not, she held the pieces to finding the vault key in that freaky little brain of hers. I knew I wouldn't like her, but I promised myself that I'd be polite for the good of the mission. I'd deal with it.
But then IT happened.
The first time she did it, I figured it was just curiosity. She's been on her own for how long now? It's done weird things to her head. I should let it slide. I'll be nice. But the second time, the second time, there was no mistaking it. He crouched down to open the lockers on the bottom shelf and her eyes went straight for the kill.
The second time I caught her ogling Brick's ass, all of my resolution went straight out the window.
It took all my willpower not to unholster my SMG and let fly. The bitch actually stopped rambling and cocked her head to the side, licking her lips like she was surveying a particularly juicy cut of meat. Instead of reaching across her desk, grabbing a fistful of her hair and bashing her head against the wall until she stopped breathing, I merely cleared my throat loudly and stepped into her line of vision, blocking as much of his massive frame as I could. She looked confused for a moment as to who I was and what I was doing there.
"You seem to have lost your train of though. Could you please continue?"
I gave her a sweet smile. I couldn't help it if she noticed my hand twitching towards the trigger on my gun or the way my glare screamed that ass is MINE. She seemed a little taken aback, but she continued with what she'd been saying. As she talked, I made sure to position myself firmly in between Brick and the mad scientist every time her eyes slipped to one side or the other.
After nattering for a bit longer, she finally gave us directions to where we needed to go. As Brick and I walked away from her little hut (I made SURE he walked out first) he raised an eyebrow at the gleeful look on my face as I imagined hog-tying the bitch and feeding her to a skag.
"What's go you so excited?"
"Hmm? Oh, nothing." We walked a little further. I resisted the urge to squeeze one firm butt-cheek just in case she was watching. Marking my territory and all that.
"Glad that's over with and we can finally go hunting for what we came to this damn planet for. Oh, and Brick? Next time we need information from that women, Mordecai and Roland will be the ones who go."
Because Mordecai doesn't have the restraint that I do and if that woman even twitches an eyelash at Roland, Mordy just might cut her head off. I can only hope. The image makes me feel like skipping.
"Lil, you're smiling again. What's up?"
"Was I? Oh, nothing, Dear. Absolutely nothing at all."
...
Can anyone else see that happening or is that just me?
