My Life

~Coming Undone~

Chapter 1

I look in the mirror through the dewy water vapor from the scalding shower I just stepped out of wondering how I had gotten to this point. Here I stand a 45 year old woman who's suppose to be at the top of her game…..for all intensive purposes I am except for those two little lines that appeared before my eyes earlier.

It has been exactly 43 days since I left his bed and those arms of a man I have done nothing but take for granted all of these years, we do this every couple of years we somehow find each other again whether it be for a few stolen moments or a weekend visit which only reaffirm how many miles really tears us apart.

I know I should really call him, I need to just see where his head is at in this whole thing…..I guess what I really want to know is if this is what he wants, who am I kidding I know this is what he wants….but does he want this with me?

He asks me to stay once again…to please not leave him again! That was 72 days ago, 72 days in which I have found out what I want and need are comparably different now then what they were the first time he asked me to please stay.

This morning as I got out of the shower I could see that I am not going to be able to conceal you for much longer, you're my little miracle, you're all that's right in this world, & you're the one special blessing that brought me home to your daddy for good 3 days ago!

"I need you...because you make me laugh more than anyone else, I'm the best me when I'm with you, & when you're gone nothing feels right until you return!"