hey guys my new and very much improved 1st chapter
The Next Great adventure
A lush green gigantic forest where the birds chirp peacefully and the ninja make the birdies go bye bye with Justus. While in the middle of the large forested region is the village hidden in the leaves otherwise known as Konoha. The strongest village in the elemental nations.
"AH what a great day to be alive." sighed the man known as The Fourth Hokage.
'I almost finished my new jutsu swirly ball or as my know it all sensei would say Rasengan. Maybe I can teach Ku-Chan and then let her have at it with sensei... yes that would a fitting end swirly ball to... well the balls MUHAHAHAHAHA,' thought the obviously deranged man.
"well at least nothing can ruin my day today." he said as he preformed Hari Jizo No Jutsu and mentally counted.
' 3...2...1... huh noting happened usually Ku-Chan tries to come kill me for getting her pregnant or-.' he was cut off my a messenger barging into his office yelling to fast for him to understand.
"woah woah woah slow down ninja tell me what's going on," asked The Fourth Hokage.
"Sir I have bad news and worse news." replied the ninja.
"I don't have time to play games grunt tell me what has you so frazzled."
"well sir Kushina-sama has gone into labor and is demanding you to go see her so she can kill you."
"WHAT that's horrible I have to get out of here." yelled the panicking man, but when he tried to jump out the window a sudden tremor shook the great village.
"O and the Kyuubi no Kitsune is attacking," said the scared looking messenger.
"WHAT how the hell do you not tell me that in the first place." roared the furious Hokage.
"your wife scares me," he yelled while dashing out the office crying like a baby.
A giant red paw landed and crushed many of the once proud trees that protected the mightiest village in all the land, and made all the poor poor birdies go bye bye... O well.
"well now I'm screwed now I have to face one of the scariest demons in the world... And the Kyuubi." sighed The Fourth
" Man Ku-Chan is gonna really be mad when I don't pay attention to her." stressed the fourth Hokage as he looked over thousands of old musty scrolls in a tiny vault. Which was filled with copies of him running around like a madman in hopes of defeating a pissed of pregnant mom or Kyuubi.
The fourth furiously racked his brain on what to do and when he finally was going to give up and just use the suicide jutsu Shiki Fuujin No Jutsu. When he slipped and fell on what looked like some rolled up tree bark?
"what the hell is that," the fourth wondered.
"well I hope it's something to help me because I'm about to die by my wife's hand or by the big fox and I sure would like to see something that could help me or at least something sexy" he muttered under his breath.
Many would not in their wildest dreams think that a man with enough prestigeas the Yellow Flash because of his technique "The Flying Thunder God," (which was more or less a teleportation jutsu like the Body Flicker jutsu no jutsu) which helped him take down battalions upon battalions of Iwa shinobi was a huge perv. In fact he likes pride him self on being the main character for his sensei's book which was his and Ku-Chan's doing he might add if Kushina wasn't in 10 miles of his person. So as an act of hopeless desperation for some type of peace he opens the bark.
(AN the bold is the scroll)
To the current Hokage
I am Hashimara Senju otherwise known as the first Hokage and if in some way you are in dire need to help protect Konoha then this scroll has found you for a reason, and if you aren't and you somehow got your hands on this scroll then I will have to ask you to pour some chakra into the scroll after all it's not some cheap porn.
"Awe man" he muttered/pouted as he channeled some chakra into the scroll.
There now my scroll has decided to you are not some horny teenager it will tell you the secret of my power to controlling the mighty bijuu"... This is awesome" he shouted like a certain spandex wearing kid who just so happened to find the store which sells is fashion style.
'but I'm a realist and my wonderful village won't be ready for a reminder of what they have lost, What to do, What to do I guess I have to read on and find out what I can do for my boy'
"maybe I can use this to my advantage ether way I look at it I'm going to die so I might as well make my baby boy into what every human on the face of the world wants to be sex magnet to the opposite sex MUHAHAHAHAHAHA" which by this time he was practically screaming about it which promoted weird looks from the fleeing villagers passing by.
When I was traveling as a young spry man of 25, I came across and very old cave, and I being a typical curious young man went in to look around. While the strangest thing happened I was practicing one my jutsu when I sneezed, and there was this big flash, and I was somehow transported to another dimension where I came across an old guy fighting what looked like a snake with eight heads with an evil looking mask on each head so I being the smart brave warrior charged in the save the old man... boy was I a dumb ass two minutes into the battle I was knocked out and thrown to the side like a rag doll. When I woke up the snake was gone and the old man was in critical condition about to die there was blood EVERYWHERE so I did the first thing that came to mind, scream like a helpless school girl who just saw her first d. And I probably shouldn't write down that I also ran over him probably giving a cross shaped scar on his forehead and I certainly didn't do it twice so I won't put it in no way no how...I regress after I calmed down I grew all the medical plants I knew of and shoved them down his throat which by the way I can do because I'm so awesome while other jealous people cough Madara cough say it's a blood line but that's just the ramblings of a jealous person. When the old geezer woke up he told me his name was Yamamoto and he was thankful for the help and he even gave me the really cool and very manly looking crystal as gratitude so we got to talking and I find out that he is training to create a society of something I dunno I wasn't paying attention but he said he would someday repay me he just didn't know how yet as I was about to shout about more power I suddenly I got this really cold but oddly neutral vibe that made me almost shit my self. I turned around ever so slowly and saw THE Shinigami I mean the fucking death god coming toward me and before I could do something incredibly stupid with my really cool tree growing powers I was pushed back through the tunnel by a worried looking Yamamoto and before I fell all the he said he called this place the Soul Society which in my opinion is really gay... then the flash of light and I woke up to the same cave I entered. when I tried to do the messed up jutsu again... it failed horribly all it did was make a hilt of a sword which I gave to my brother...
"I think I just found the solution to all my problems" the Fourth said as he just tossed the tree bark back where it came from not even bothering to read he rest thinking of a way to alter the Shiki Fuujin No Jutsu.
AN: well I just finished the new and improved TNGA tell me how y'all think so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW don't make me say the magical words... I love you you love me we're all a family ... now do it or ill continue
