He grabbed at him desperately, searching for something as he connected their lips, the force of the embrace smashing their teeth together, but he didn't care. Neither of them did, it was a moment where they were together again, but as he reached out again, to pull the man closer to him, his hands drifted right through him, the man disappearing into black smoke, leaving the younger boy alone, reaching out for a dream that was already lost.
Alec awoke with a start, gasping for air, and then groaning as he realised he'd had the same dream again. It was always him grasping for Magnus, begging for him to return, but it was only a dream. A dying hope to have the warlock return to him. It had been a fortnight since the night in the subway tunnels, and Alec no longer felt overwhelmed with pain, grief, guilt, and regret. Instead he felt empty. Magnus had brought so much joy and colour into his life, showing Alec for the first time how much he could be, that he wasn't in fact bland, but could be just as enthralling as Magnus himself. Now that was gone Alec dragged himself through everyday with no real desire to do so. His siblings were immersed in their own lives, and hadn't noticed Alec's plummet into self-destruction, and his frequent escapes from the Institute meant that they still presumed he was still seeing Magnus. Instead he was wondering the streets of New York with no purpose, aimlessly walking through the beautiful city, oblivious to all the opportunities it had to offer. Jace and Izzy had noticed Alec's lack of enthusiasm for training however, and his avoidance of all shadow hunter and family business. Not understanding the reason for Alec's numbness to his world had meant that the two had become increasingly frustrated with him, especially as when they confronted him about it, Alec just stared blankly ahead, not registering any of their words. This was why when a very special, and particularly complex project was assigned to the New York Institute, Izzy and Jace wasted no time dumping the responsibility onto an unknowing Alec.
"Alec needs to spend some time away from Magnus. Honestly, I don't even think he remembers what a Nephilim is supposed to do. When was the last time he came on a hunt with us?" Jace said as he and Izzy walked towards Alec's room.
"Fine, but the blame's going on you. I hate it when he gets all grumpy, and I'd much rather he be angry with you," Izzy replied as she knocked on Alec's door.
It was already ten am, although lately Alec was no longer getting up at the crack of dawn, but rather emerging from his room whenever he felt like it. Izzy and Jace both blamed his new lethargic attitude on increased time spent with Magnus.
"What?" Alec said from within his room, his voice cold and emotionless.
"The Clave is arriving in an hour with a special project for you. As the eldest here, you're meant to take care of him."
There was movement inside, and Alec soon opened the door.
"Him? The special project is a person?" Alec asked, although he didn't actually sound very interested.
Izzy frowned as she saw the bags under Alec's eyes, and the bruise forming on his arm.
"Did you go hunting without us?" Jace asked as he too noticed the injury.
The truth was Alec had spent the night at a bar, testing the mundane way of fixing a heartbreak; drinking copious amounts of alcohol. It hadn't worked, and had only gotten him into a bar fight over some trivial matter he could no longer remember.
"Yeah, something like that. Why do I have to deal with this? You two are younger, and so aren't actually meant to go out on missions, so a domestic matter should be your responsibility."
"Oh yeah, because you're so dedicated to Nephilim matters at the moment. Come on Alec, you've done nothing lately, that's why you get to deal with this, while we do the proper stuff."
Jace's comment was meant to be lighthearted and joking, but it only made Alec's mood darken, and he chuckled to himself bitterly.
"Fine, off you go then, continue on trying to fulfill your deathwish," Alec said venomously as he pushed past Jace.
"What the hell Alec? What is wrong with you lately?" Izzy called after him, but he ignored her, heading out of the Institute, intent on spending another day trying to do anything to make him forget what he had done.
Alec didn't stray too far from the Institute, knowing he would have to return and keep appearances up for the Clave, and after a few minutes he returned, sneaking back into the Institute without drawing any attention to himself. He made his way to his room, and after stripping off his clothes, that he had slept in, he stepped into the shower, the hot water making him gasp as it burned his skin. He soon adjusted to the temperature, and fully situated himself under the relaxing spray. It was refreshing, the water feeling like it could wash away all of his regrets, the way he'd ruined his relationship with the only person who had ever loved him for him. Alec punched the wall in front of him as he remembered the night, and all of the decisions leading up to it. He opened his eyes, feeling a dull pain throbbing through his knuckles, and washed away the blood pouring over his pale skin from the tiles he'd smashed. After a few minutes Alec got out of the shower, and grabbed one of his towels, frowning as the blood from his hand quickly corrupted the white material. A quick healing rune got rid of the cuts, which were deeper than he had originally thought, but the wall was not such an easy fix. He cleared the broken tiles from the shower, but the wall still had a fist sized dent in it. Shrugging his shoulders, Alec stepped out of the bathroom and quickly got dressed into his shadow hunter gear. It was the appropriate dress code whenever the Clave was visiting, although he had not worn it in a while.
Still with plenty of time left, and his siblings nowhere in sight, Alec strolled through the halls of the Institute, looking for a distraction. He soon came across the training room, which he hadn't stepped foot in since he'd last seen Magnus. After a quick glance over his shoulder, Alec walked to the far side of his room, and picked up his bow. He ran his fingers over it, having missed the familiar weight of it in his hands. He then slowly drew an arrow, placed it on his bow, and drew the string back. A satisfying twang sounded in his ear as he let the arrow fly, and it hit the center of the target. There had been a time when if he'd left practice for more than a few days he would have to work himself back up to that level of accuracy, but by now using a bow was second nature to Alec, and felt like it was an almost inseparable part of him.
"I haven't seen you here in a while," Jace said from the doorway of the room.
"Miss me, did you?" Alec asked sarcastically, although his voice was a little less reserved than it had been earlier.
"Yeah Alec, I have. I get it, that you want to spend time with Magnus, but seriously, it feels like you've been dead to the world lately."
Alec instantly shut down at the mention of his ex-boyfriend's name, and he put his bow down.
"The Clave will be here any minute, I'm going down to the library to greet them."
"Mum sent a fire message saying she was still held up in Idris, so her and Dad won't be here," Izzy said as she followed Alec along the hallway to the library.
"No surprise there," Jace muttered, and Alec couldn't help but agree with him.
The two parents had been even more notably absent since Max's death.
Alec watched Jace pace around the room while they all waited for the Clave representatives to arrive.
"If you want to see Clary would you just go! You're driving me crazy!" Izzy declared.
Jace stopped and threw himself down into the chair next to Alec.
"You'd think they'd be here on time!"
"Not everyone is as fanatically organized as you, Jace," Izzy said, and Alec sighed as he felt another fight between the two impending.
Just then the portal startled to crackle with energy, saving Alec from having to restore the peace between his siblings. Alec stood, and gestured for Jace to do the same. As they did so two adult shadow hunters dressed in gear stepped through, and a younger Nephilim followed. He cowered behind the others, and so Alec couldn't make him out clearly.
"Alexander Lightwood, I presume," one of the shadow hunters said.
He was a middle-aged man that Alec didn't recognize, although there many mediocre people who worked for the Clave that Alec could never remember.
"The Clave expects you to care for this Nephilim, Sebastian Verlac."
The three Lightwoods tensed at the name, having been used to it being associated with the demon that had killed their brother, Jonathan Morgenstern. Izzy jumped forward, slipping between the two Clave representatives, and tried to grab Sebastian. He flinched away from her as she tried to grasp his neck, his height giving him an advantage, and his quick movement revealed a long and deap wound spanning across his throat. Izzy realised her mistake and stepped back, muttering an apology as she stood behind Alec and Jace.
"This is the real Sebastian Verlac. We presumed him dead, once we discovered that Jonathan Morgenstern had stolen his identity, however we found him very much alive. He does need some time to heal however, and the invitation of the hospitality of your Institute was put forward. He is in a rather fragile state, but I trust you shall be able to manage him."
With that the two adult Nephilim stepped back through the portal, departing with no other farewell. Once they were gone the three Lightwoods stared at Sebastian, who gulped nervously, and took a step back, as if he wanted to follow the others back through the portal.
"Well, he's all yours Alec, I gotta go," Jace said cheerfully as he left, and Izzy followed him out quickly.
"Great," Alec muttered to himself as he watched his siblings go. "My name's Alexander Lightwood, but you can call me Alec, and this is the New York Institute, and I guess your home, for the time being."
