Title: Weakness & Guilt
Category: Books ยป Lord of the Rings
Author: bastet1999
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K
Genre: Angst
Published: 04-01-07, Updated: 04-01-07
Chapters: 1, Words: 359

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Rated: all ages

Character: Erestor

Weakness & Guilt

He couldn't quite understand the lack of control for the feelings that engulfed him. They were a strong race. Relatively unemotional and able to endure. But the last few months weighed heavily on Erestor. The worry, the doubt, the fear. It had been many months since the diagnosis had been made. Elves from all the realms had come to work their magicks and healings, and by all appearances they had at last worked. But still the doubt lingered.

For so long he had lain pale and weak. In and out of consciousness and delirium. Unaware of everything around, everyone who came to his bedside and prayed to the goddess for his recovery or swift end? "Who suffers worst" he thought, "the ill or the ones at their bedside watching them slowly deteriorate until they are a shell of who they once were?"

To watch him wither was the worst punishment of all. The helplessness felt, and the few coherent times he was awake, trying to keep his spirits and hope up. Assuring him that all would be fine and they would both be walking in the garden again and sitting by the water's edge. "Now he may never walk again" sighed Erestor.

The damage from the treatments had been severe, but sadly necessary. Though the guilty thought remained that perhaps death would have been better than the long suffering to be well again. Perhaps he had done the wrong thing in getting help when he did, when death would have come only a mere few days later and erased the pain of disease away forever. His beautiful raven hair was gone, and the strength in his hands. Thought was difficult, but improving in time. There were short bursts of energy, only enough to hint of what had been.

Sighing, he held his lovers hand, pulling the blanket up higher on him for warmth. Gazing into the fireplace he decided it was only a few short weeks until Spring, when they would once again walk in the grass and sit by the water's edge...

Fin!