I still remember the look on your face
Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away
Sam Evans, the boy who loved me despite of everything, broke up with me, because of my stupid mistake. I know I should've kissed Finn, or that I shouldn't have lied to him when he asked me if I had kissed Finn. And know, he left me, heartbroken, his now with Santana, my so called friend.
I stood their by my locker, reminiscing everything. That one afternoon where he had proposed to me, in the astronomy classroom, it was quiet dark that time, and that's when he told me "I love you" which automatically melted my heart, I pretended to be worried, saying that we've only been dating for 2 months, even though I knew that I loved him as well.
I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That July 9th the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms
During one rainy afternoon, he came over and we just sat at the front porch, my head at his chest, as we watched the rain fall down.
"I love the smell of rain" I said suddenly, which surprised him, he looked down at me with that dorky smile of his.
"I like the smell too, but do you know what smell I love the most?" He asked me with a goofy grim.
"What?" I asked him, looking at his eyes.
"You" He said, I could feel his heart beat racing fast as he told me that, "You're the one I love the most"
He held me tight, his arms are where I belong in, that's how I felt. I wanted to tell him that I loved him too.
I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pulled me in
I'm not much for dancing but for you did
We went to one of Puck's party together, Sam was being his usual dorky self, though people still loved him, since he was the star quarter back.
"So Sammy boy, how were you able to get a girl like Quinn Fabray?" One of his football friends asked
Sam had a very boastful expression "Well, I'm just the luckiest guy in the world I guess"
I rolled my eyes "You can be too boastful Mr. Evans" I said, folding my hands, he laughed again and pulled me to a hug.
"How about a dance Miss Fabray?" He asked me with another dorky smile.
"You are such a dork Mister Evans" I said with a teasing smile
He just looked into my eyes and said "Well, I'm your dork Miss Fabray"
Because I loved your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
During my 17th birthday, Sam came over to my place, it was the first time he has ever met my father, and truth be told, my father actually liked him.
"What your name boy?" My father asked that night
Sam stuck out his hand and shaking my father's "Samuel Lorenze Evans, Sir" He said with a smile.
"Its nice to finally meet the boy who made my little Quinnie happy for all this months"
Sam smiled at my father and looked at me "I'm glad I can make your little Quinnie happy" he said, I smiled back at him.
We took a short walk after that, he was holding my hand, just the way he should, his free hand at his pocket.
I was about to tell him that I love him when he pressed his lips onto mine, I closed my eyes and enjoyed our kiss. I know it was rude of him to do that, but I loved it.
And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
No matter what I do know, Sam will never take me back, I broke his heart because of a stupid mistake, and my own heart broke because of that as well.
As I sat here in the choir room, watching Sam talk to Artie and Puck, I don't know if Sam will ever miss me as much as I miss him, I don't know how to be something he will miss or care about at all.
"OK Guys, Valentines is over, and I know we had so much fun with the Anthem and Love Songs I have assigned you guys, but this week I would like to do something quite the opposite" Mr. Shue said as he entered the choir room.
Rachel raised her hand "Does that mean we have to sing songs that aren't about love?" She asked
Mr. Shue gave Rachel a sigh "No Rachel, I was thinking about maybe, a heart breaking song? Something about sadness, or pain, singers who can make the audience feel what they feel is a very good thing" he said
I raised my hand, everyone surprised, "Yes Quinn?" Mr. She asked
I stood up "I already have a song that I'd like to sing about pain and sadness" I said
Mercedes looked at me with worried eyes , "Are you sure about that Q?" she whispered, I just nodded.
"Go ahead Quinn" Mr. Shue said, pointing towards the center.
"Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips, ohh"
I sat down at the piano; this was the first time I was going to let anyone know that I could actually play an instrument.
I sang quietly to the song of Taylor Swift, "Last Kiss", I was actually going to sing "Mine" for Sam during the love song week, but I ended up with the MONOs, thanks to Finn.
I was looking directly at Sam, I didn't know what came over me, I wasn't ashamed for what happened, I said my sorry and I told him how I felt about him, and maybe I just wanted him to hear me out this time.
"So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are"
I continued singing with all the energy I had, sleepless nights and heart breaking memories kept me up all night and all day, I couldn't concentrate with anything that I was doing.
I continued playing the piano during a few more lines, and than I decided to stand up, stand in front of Sam as I continued singing to him.
"And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind"
I know I wouldn't be able to change Sam's mind now, or convince him to be with me, but a part of me will always want him to wish that he could still be with me.
As I continued singing, tears ran down my face, I didn't stop them, because this is the only time I will cry in front of the boy I love because of the heart break and sadness he left me with, I wanted him to know I meant every word.
"So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you missI never thought we'd ever last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips, just like our last"
I finished slowly, I could see Sam's eyes, we wanted to believe me, I could tell he was hurting to, but the only thing that was leading me to this wild imagination or hope was that one tear drop falling from his eyes.
Before I could say another word, he stood up and left the choir room. Everyone in the glee club we're whispering things like "Its obvious he still loves her" or "Those two are just perfect for each other, why did they ended it?"
"That was a nice song Quinn, you were great" Mr. Shue said, and that's when everyone in the club started to applaud.
Most of the glee girls stood up from their seat and walked towards me, giving me a hug. "You're stronger than you think" Rachel said.
"I know I'm like totally into Santana" Brittany started "But what she did, stealing your man, was really mean of her" I laughed and hugged the tall blonde in front of me.
Sam didn't come back to glee rehearsal, as I walked through the hallway, I saw him by his locker, our eyes met for the first time after a long time.
I'm always going to love him.
