HideKane - 1000 Paper Cranes
For my best friend Mary; who likes the Angst.
Hideyoshi Nagachika loved Kaneki Ken and even strangers could see it. Utterly apparent in his hugs and kisses towards his most precious friend. Hide loved telling Kaneki he loved him and loved seeing the light in his eyes shine brighter everytime he said it.
But lately Hide had been whispering it endlessly into Kaneki's ears hoping for a miracle. No one had known what was happening until it was too late.
Even if Kaneki was half ghoul, Leukemia had a way of creeping up on people and stealing away the rest of their lives.
For all that Kaneki had survived, for all that he gave and sacrificed, he was no exception and so the world screwed him over one last time.
Hide remembered the dizzy spells, the never ending bruises in assorted colors, and the all too telling symptom a loss of appetite.
Everyone had attributed it to all the problems Kaneki had been dealing with at the time, becoming half-ghoul made everyone question what exactly Kaneki could be affected by. He wondered how they could have ever missed it - how he could have missed it, after all Kaneki was what kept his hope alive at the end of everyday.
Hide saw Kaneki become sicker and sicker. He saw the hope in Kaneki's eyes start to flicker. His face became gaunt, skin always sallow, and his voice could barely maintain a whisper.
He felt like the world had made a fool out of him. He'd lost so much when Kaneki became a ghoul, his soft spoken and shy friend had become the very thing people would willingly put down like a mad dog and feel justified in doing so.
Everyone was desperate in their own ways and Hide was desperate enough to put his belief in an old fairytale.
The old woman hadn't said a thing as he brought stacks upon stacks of origami paper but she didn't need to.
Her sad, knowing eyes said it all.
As he lugged away the stacks of paper he heard her voice, "I hope that you get what you're wishing for..."
Hide wished so too.
Over time Hide's fingers became numb and sore as he folded paper after paper into cranes sitting next to a sleeping Kaneki. He remembered his grandmother telling him of the stories of the cranes.
"Everyone wants a miracle Hide-kun, I remember a story when I was a little girl my mother used to tell me it when my brother was in the hospital. They say if you wish with all of your heart and fold a thousand paper cranes your wish can come true, one last miracle."
Hide hadn't paid much attention to it at the time but his desperation had forced him to remember the children's' tale.
Hide needed a miracle because only a miracle would save Kaneki.
He didn't want to let go of Kaneki, he wasn't ready.
Time passed.
The amount of cranes grew, and Kaneki withered away.
Hide was Kaneki's best friend but even he wasn't privy to how Kaneki felt about the turns his life had taken, but eventually he found out.
It happened when he was holding Kaneki in his arms on a rare day when Kaneki felt better then normal.
"Hide?"
Hide glued his eyes to Kaneki as his eyes brows furrowed together, away from the small t.v they had been watching.
"Is there something wrong? Do you want me to go get the Doctor? The nurse?"
Kaneki shook his head slowly, "No..it's just.."
Hide flashed a small smile, "You can tell me anything you know. I'm not just your boyfriend, I'm also your best friend. I want to know what's wrong, even if you think it's stupid."
Kaneki's eyes warmed at Hide's declaration. "I've been so tired Hide...of everything. I know it's selfish but part of me is glad I'm dying."
Hide wanted to get angry at Kaneki, but he stayed silent and waited for him to finish. If Kaneki was barely telling him now, then he must've been thinking about it for a while.
"I-If, for argument's sake, you were to write a story with me in the lead role it would certainly be a tragedy. And I'm so sorry about that Hide..because...because I didn't want my life to end sadly. I wanted a happy ending. But more importantly, even if I can't have a happy ending, I want you to have one. I don't want you to hang on to a sad memory of me."
Hide buried his face in Kaneki's shoulder to hide the tears rolling down his cheeks.
He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.
Hide could only hold Kaneki closer and hope for a miracle with all his heart.
861.
862.
874.
906.
A hand stopped Hide from folding anymore paper cranes.
"Fold anymore and you might not have any fingers left."
Hide smiled. "I guess you'll just have to stick around to take care of me won't you?"
Kaneki smiled back, "I guess so. Who else would put up with you?"
Hide laughed, "Only you Kaneki..only ever you."
Hide caressed Kaneki's face as an alarm rang shrilly into the bland hospital room.
He softly pecked Kaneki's lips, "I have to get going. Get better okay?"
Kaneki's soft laughter rang out, "Will do Hide."
The sun hid behind clouds, as snow lightly drifted down.
"When you get better we'll go for a walk like we always do! It would be fun to get Touka into a snowball fight!"
"As if, she'd rather work more hours at Anteiku then join you in a snowball fight."
Hide rolled his eyes.
"I love you Hide.."
Hide smiled stupidly as he always did when Kaneki said he loved him, swooped down for a kiss and said, "I love you too, my bestest friend and wonderful boyfriend."
Kaneki closed his eyes with a smile on his face before he looked at the snow piling outside.
"Let's rest a bit, okay Hide?"
Hide's world crumbled when Kaneki didn't wake up.
And Hide remembered, sometimes even miracles don't work.
