I don't own Hercules

Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes said the narrator.

And the greatest and strongest of these heroes was the mighty herculese said the narrator.

But what is the measure of a true hero said the narrator.

Ah, that is what our story is said the Narrator.

Would listen to her said a muse.

She's making the story sound like some Greek tragedy said a muse.

Lighten up, girl said a muse.

We'll take it from here, darling said a muse.

You go, boys said the narrator.

We are the muses said a muse.

Gods of the arts and proclaimers of heroes said the muse.

Our story actually begins long before Herculese many eons ago said a muse.

Muse 1: back when the world was new

The planet earth was down on its luck

And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok.

Muse 2: it was a nasty place

There was a mess wherever you stepped.

Muse 1: where chaos reigned

And earthquakes and volcanoes never slept

Muses: and then along came Zeus

Muse 2: he hurled his thunderbolt

Muses: he zapped

Muse 2: locked those sucker in a vault

Muses: they're trapped

Muses: and on his own, stopped chaos in tracks

Muses: and the gospel truth the guy was too type a to just relax

Muse 3: and that's the world's first dish

Muses:: Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.

Muses: though, honey, it may seem impossible

That's the gospel truth.

Muses: on mount Olympus life was neat and smooth as sweet Vermouth

Muses: although honey it may seem impossible

That's the gospel truth