07/13/09
Her Past
Set during season two…
"Twenty-two-year-old male with thyroid cancer. Who wants to tell the wife that it just metastasized to his brain?" House looked around at his team, zeroing in on the girl. "Cameron."
"No," she objected frantically. "I… I can't!" Her eyes were wide with memories of the other side of the glass wall. Chase leaned toward Cameron, alarmed at her sudden distress.
House furrowed his brow. "No," he agreed. "You can't. Not until you can stop wallowing in self-pity and get over your past. Foreman, you tell the wife. Cameron, help Chase make the patient comfortable." Foreman and Chase packed up, and Foreman hurried out. House followed, then paused in the doorway and looked back at Cameron. "Oh, and wish him a belated happy six-month anniversary."
Cameron glared at him, her face reddening and tears filling her eyes. "Bastard," she whispered hotly after him as he left. She drew in a shaky breath, letting a tear escape as she let it out.
Chase put down on his folders and approached his troubled teammate. He crouched in front of her and firmly caught her gaze. "What's going on; what was that about?"
"Nothing." Another tear, some wiping of eyes.
"You lost someone to cancer, didn't you?" His voice was almost as gentle as his eyes. Cameron nodded through a sob. "Thyroid?"
"It's all the same… we were the same ages, we'd been married six months… it metastasized to his brain…" Her voice trailed off as she began to cry more openly.
Chase took her hands in his and caressed the backs of them with his thumbs. "You knew when you married him, didn't you?" She didn't answer. "You knew he was dying."
Cameron attempted to take a deep breath. "We were in love!" Her voice was impassioned, but her fervor was short-lived. "Back then… we still had… faith… in the chemo… and God."
Chase's hands grew still, holding her hands securely in his. "You were a Christian?"
"Every Sunday, we'd go to church together… do Bible studies in the café on Wednesdays." Chase relaxed as Cameron's tears began to subside. "After he… passed… I couldn't stand to go to church without him. Bible study was accompanied by loneliness and guilt, so I quit trying." She had been looking down at the floor, but now looked back into Chase's eyes. "So I figured out how to thrive without God."
"But you're not happy. You… haven't… really been happy since… you lost him."
"I've been okay," she denied his conjecture.
"No, you've been miserable. That's why you're so devoted to your work; so you can save other people…. You fight their pain for them. You take the focus off of yourself so you don't have to face your own pain. You're running away from everything that might hurt you."
"No harm done."
"But you don't have a social life."
"I don't need one. My work is my life."
"It doesn't have to be."
"I like it."
"You could be happy, Cameron." It was clear to him that she didn't agree. "It's what he would have wanted for you."
Cameron's expression softened as she pondered this. As the truth of it sank in, she began to sob again. This time, Chase stood. "Come here," he half-smiled as he pulled her up into his arms. She let herself enjoy his embrace for a minute, even clinging to him, before she realized what she was doing. She smiled, eyes dry, and pulled away from the embrace. "Sorry," she blushed, looking down again.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Chase pointed out.
Cameron looked back into her teammate's blue eyes. "Then, thank you."
Chase smiled. "Anytime."
