Notes: This is set when Lisa Simpson is twenty years old. I can't give you a year for that because The Simpsons uses a floating timeline. Also, the note that says "You are Lisa Simpson" comes from "Lisa's Substitute" (1991), Homer (Lisa's Dad) has his heart attack and triple bypass in "Homer's Triple Bypass" (1992), Lisa becomes and comes out as a vegetarian in "Lisa the Vegetarian" (1995), Lisa becomes and comes out as a Buddhist in "She of Little Faith" (2001), and Patty comes out as gay in "There's Something About Marrying" (2005). Charlie and Sarah and Mark and Jenny Harper are my own original characters. The line "Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream" is from "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy" (1994).

Lisa Simpson Comes Out As Bisexual

Lisa took a deep breath and looked again at the yellowed, creased, well-loved piece of paper that simply read, "You are Lisa Simpson." Yes I am, she thought to herself. And I am bisexual. And I love Jenny. And I can do this, dammit. She thought of her father's health problems – despite his heart attack and triple bypass, he still didn't take very good care of his health. Or good care of it. Or any care of it at all, really. Some might say that was reason not to tell him possibly upsetting news, but heck, Bart had been doing that and more for years. And what if he died without ever knowing an important truth about his oldest daughter's life? Besides, her family had gotten through her "coming out" as a vegetarian and a Buddhist – you couldn't say they understood, not really, but they tried to be supportive. Sure, Mom had a tough time when Aunt Patty turned out to be gay (or rather, when Mom was finally forced to face the fact that Aunt Patty was gay after being hit over the head with it.) But in the end she'd been accepting. She couldn't accept her sister and refuse to accept her daughter – could she?

It was the longest walk to breakfast Lisa had ever taken. Mealtimes during holidays were the only time you could count on the whole family being together now, what with her in college and Bart working. Sure, she could wait until lunch, but then she'd just say to herself, "How about waiting until dinner?" and before she knew it the whole holiday would be over. No, it had to be now, and it had to be before Dad and Bart finished eating their breakfast, which meant it had to be fast.

"Um, so, hey everyone." This uncustomary interruption of the family's typical silent gorging had their attention at once. "So, you all remember I broke up with Mark, right?"

"You were too good for him anyway, sweetie," said Marge. Maggie nodded in agreement, her mouth full as always.

"When tasty waffles get health food syrup on them, it just makes the waffles worse," said Homer. "Sorry, Lisa, what were you talking about?"

"I really did like Mark, although I think it's for the best we broke up. And now I've met someone else I like – Jenny Harper. Well, she's thinking about changing her name to MeatIsMurder, but it's Jenny for now."

"That's great honey. More waffles?" asked Marge.

"Mom, you're not listening! I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend!"

"Yes, dear, you've explained that already." Marge cut a waffle into the shape of a smiley face.

"Anyway," said Bart, or rather mumbled Bart through a mouthful of bacon, "we all kinda figured you out back when you dragged us to that Charlie and Sarah concert. Nobody goes to that crap for the music."

"You're right", said Marge, "although it's still no excuse to say 'crap', young man."

"Sorry mom."

"Apology accepted. And Lisa, dear, we love you just the way you are, and I'm sorry you've been so worried about telling us. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream." And they did.