I do not own the Nostalgia Critic. I also do not own "Twas the Night Before Christmas". (I don't think anyone does, really.)
Admittedly, this story makes no sense. It's not even a story, it's just a parody of "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I realize this isn't really even a good poem, but give me some credit… it rhymes! So, here we go!
It twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was silent
Not even a mouse.
Crappy movies were placed by the chimney with care,
With hopes that the Nostalgia Critic would soon be there.
The fans all snuggled up, all comfortable in their beds
While some Nostalgia Critic episodes played in their heads.
I in my room, watching my computer
My brother had snuck out hours prior, probably at Hooters.
I sat at my computer desk, laughing away
Screaming repeatedly,
"I Was Frozen, Today!
When out of the yard, I heard someone swearing
I paused my computer, listening, daring
I ran to my window, as fast as I could
To see the guy who had a gift for speaking only in curse
The scenery was beautiful, from my apartment not so high
But it was also cold, so I had to close the window with a sigh
I never did get a clear look at the man
But he still cursed as loud as he can
I went back to watching the episode and laughing
Paying no attention to what was actually happening
When I opened my eyes to the outside world
I nearly passed out, and I didn't say one word
Who in my humble eyes should appear
The Nostalgia Critic, not so full of holiday cheer.
"Hi" I said quietly, he turned around
"This movie is shit! It belongs to you now!"
As he left, still swearing, and cursing at once
And as he walked out the door I yelled,
"Merry Christmas!"
