Wanted to try something from Usopp's perspective. And this wouldn't leave me alone. Ahh, Usopp. XD

What is it with me and crackish OP oneshots? Especially recently, I mean hell. My brain has just been cranking this crap out for weeks now. I don't even know.


"And by then, all the world knew the name of the great Usopp, king of snipers, hero of Elbaf, the Giant Island!" Usopp declared, waving his well-muscled arms for emphasis. Kaya listened raptly, with entranced brown eyes, to the tales of his travels, tracing a circle on his bare chest with her finger. She was leaning against him as they watched the sunset, standing on a cape, with a cool sea breeze blowing by and ruffling her hair. She listened to him go on for a moment longer until she interrupted him.

"Usopp-san..."

"Yes, Kaya?"

"Shut up and kiss me." She pouted her lips, and closed her eyes. Usopp took her by the small of the back, swept her into a dip, and leaned down-

"SHIIIROIIII! HANKACHIII! U-"

"SHUT UP, BROOK!"

"AAH!" Usopp yelled, toppling face-first into the floor, arms wrapped around his pillow-dream-Kaya. He groaned, rolling to his back and holding his injured nose as Brook sang the rest of his wake-up call despite Franky's half-awake yell at the beginning. He left the room with his fiddle in hand, positively prancing away, as they grudgingly woke up and got out of bed.

"I have an idea." Usopp said, blinking sleep-gunk from his eyes and working his facial muscles to get the feeling back in his nose.

"What?" Sanji yawned, sitting up and rubbing his face with both hands.

"Tomorrow morning, let's all pretend to sleep through his squawking. Maybe he'll stop."

"Agreed." Chopper murmured.

"Some of us won't have to pretend." Sanji muttered, kicking the hammock that had Zoro in the bottom bunk and Luffy in the top. Both yelled in shock as they toppled out, Zoro making a choked noise as Luffy fell on top of him. The day proceeded as one on calm waters usually did; each of them went off and did their own thing for the day, generally relaxing and getting things done that they couldn't when their travels were busier. That night, Usopp got a look and a nod from each of the guys to show they remembered what he said that morning, and they went to sleep expecting their next wake-up call.


Usopp jumped awake at the same time the next morning, to the sound of Brook's fiddling, and his sing-shouting of words relating to a handkerchief. The startled snorts and jumps from nearby told him the others did too, but they all kept to the ruse- they remained silent through the entire song, and even through an encore immediately following. After a few moments of befuddled silence, and a contemplative 'hmm', Brook left the bunkroom.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Usopp heard a half-awake evil chuckle from Zoro. He grinned into his pillow, and saw Sanji stretch luxuriously, with a yawn, and fold his arms behind his head, and he started to doze back off.

But the lot of them yelled in shock a minute later when Brook charged back in with a bugle- something Usopp didn't even know they had- and somehow managed to play 'Reveille' at a piercing, high volume and pitch despite not having lips.

After that, they stopped complaining about 'Black Handkerchief of Happiness'.