Sup, folks! Time for a FFIV oneshot from Coli Chibi!
One of my favorite parts of FFIV is the Four Fiends: the most badass minions to ever exist in gaming! I wish more Final Fantasy games would have minions this cool. But today's story is focused on two of the fiends: Scarmiglione and Barbariccia.
Rants about how freaking immpossible it is to say their names aside, these two are probably my favorite two fiends. Scarmiglione represents my fave element, Earth, and he's a massive zombie, while Barbariccia has the most crazy hair in gaming history. I mean, her hair becomes a freaking tornado. Rubicante and Cagnazzo are pretty cool too, but I prefer Wind and Earth to Fire and Water. But hey, that's just me.
So anyway, seeing as how I never get to make fics about FFIV, I've decided to make this one! Enjoy everyone! Here's Scarmiglione himself to give our disclaimer!
Scarmiglione: Coli Chibi doesssssn't own Final Fantasy or any of thesssse charactersssss. They are owned by Ssssssquare Enix. If he did own us, we'd likely have our own game.
Rubicante: Why do you get to give the disclaimer?
Scarmiglione: Why are you interrupting me? I'm doing jussssst fine! Ssssso beat it!
Rubicante: Typical. Your lack of cooperation is the reason we never seem to win any battles.
Scarmiglione: No, the reason we never win any battles is because you keep healing the *&^%ing enemy!
Barbarccia: He has a point there.
Rubicante: }:C
Scarmiglione: On with the ssssstory! Read, and review, or I'll eat your brainsssss! (Well, not really. They're actually not very filling. I'll probably just breath poisssson on your lawn and kill all your grasssss.)
*Hiss*
"Palom! Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
*Hiss*
"I told you to knock it off!"
"I'm not doing anything!"
*Hiss*
"Wait! An evil presence is drawing near..."
A dark chuckled filled the air, startling the party that dared to scale Mt. Ordeals. "Sssuch pleasure I will take in delivering you to the gatessss of hell!"
Grinning with rotton teeth hidden under a worn cloak, Scarmiglione, the Fiend of Earth, snickered. Standing in front of him was his target: Cecil Harvey, a Dark Knight who was seeking to be a Paladin. Something Lord Golbez would not allow. The Dark Lord had personally picked Scarmiglione to deal with Cecil, who's dark sword would do little against a zombie such as himself.
"Who are you?" Cecil demanded, pulling his sword out. He stood in front of the old man and two children who had been travelling with him up the mountain, shielding them with his body.
Scarmiglione cackled, rubbing his rotten hands together. "I am oarsman who will ferry you beyond the veil! The Blighted Despot, Scarmiglione - archfiend of earth and the first of Golbez's circle of four!" The zombie king raised his hands, dark power coursing through his bloodless veins. "My undead children hunger to feassst upon your flesh!"
Before Cecil or any of the others could do anything, a hand had shot out of the ground, grabbing the girl's ankle. The screamed and swatted the hand with her staff.
More hands emerged from the earth, soon joined by their bodies. Soon, Cecil's party was surrounded by flesh hungry, mindless undead.
"Kill them!" Scarmiglione shouted, raising his hands in the air. "Let them join usss!"
The zombies shambled over to the group. Cecil growled as he charged at one of the undead, slashing him with his black sword. The zombie barely noticed the attack and swatted him aside.
"Cecil!" shouted the old man, helping the Dark Knight up. "Are you alright?"
"Never better, Tellah," Cecil said. "Stupid zombies..."
"Your dark sword will do little against these foes!" shouted Tellah. "Allow me!" The sage raised his hands."Cura!" he shouted.
If Scarmiglione had blood flowing through his veins, he would have paled. Cura? Golbez didn't say anything about that guy!
"Fire magic is powerful against the undead!" shouted the girl, white magic pulsing from her hands as she cured the zombies as well. "Make sure to use it, Palom!"
"I know what I'm doing, Parom!" Palom shouted back, as he cast Fira at his enemy. "I don't need you to help me when it comes to black magic!"
"You just need me to help with you with your homework!" Parom shot back.
"What are you, my mom?" Palom retorted he burnt several zombies to a crisp.
"Keep focused, you too!" shouted Tellah, a ball of fire forming between his hands. "Take this, you undead beasts! Fire!"
The flames burnt through the remaining zombies, who fell to the ground, disolving into the dust from wence they came.
"No!" Scarmiglione shouted, angrily. "You'll pay for that! Thunder!" the zombie king shrieked as he blasted at his enemies with powerful bursts of lightning.
"Wait a minute! Thunder?" shouted Palom. "What does Thunder have to do with earth? I thought you were the fiend of earth!"
"Sssilence!" shouted Scarmiglione, blasting at them again.
Cecil growled, charging foward, swinging his sword into the zombie. Scarmiglione growled, barely feeling the wound. He punched the man aside, snarling, "I'll peel the sssskin from your bonesss."
"Hey, ugly!" shouted Parom. "Take this! Cura!"
The healing magic struck the Blighted King, causing him to cry out in pain. "My flesssh," he moaned, as he clutched his burning chest and sunk into the ground, vanishing from sight.
Cecil let out a breath of relief. "We did it..."
"Wow! That was awesome!" shouted Palom. "He didn't stand a chance against my magic!"
Parom promptly bonked her brother in the head. "We helped too, nitwit!"
Tellah looked around as the party crossed the rope bridge "Something is not right. That was too easy."
"You think that was easy?" asked Palom.
Parom bonked her brother again. Harder, this time. "Oww!"
Cecil kept a firm grip on his sword. "Keep alert," he ordered the twins. "Golbez wouldn't send an easy challenge for us."
"Right!" said Parom, although Palom was still convinced that they had won the day.
The party slowly crossed the bridge, keeping alert for any other signs of attack. The aged wood creaked under their weight as they made it across.
"Impresssive..."
Cecil froze. "He's still here!" he shouted, drawing his blade.
Scarmiglione's laughed echoed through the mountains. "You are truely ssstrong. But my true ssstrength liesss in death! And now, you shall join me in it!"
Scarmiglione reappeared behind the four heroes, surprising them. His cloak had been torn off by their fight before, revealing how truely massive he was. How big was this guy when he had died? His brown, worn skin clung to his thin bones, his arms supported his torso as he crawled towards them like a massive dead spider. His face was half-way rotted off, revealing his skull from beneath his ratty skin. Green smog poured from his rotted mouth, filling the air with noxious fumes. "All who see this face must die!" he roared. "I'll sssmire your ruin upon the mountainside!"
"Palom! Parom!" shouted Cecil as he stood between the undead collosus and the two children. "Stay back! Me and Tellah will handle this one!"
"Not a chance!" Parom said, as she stood with Cecil. "We're not leaving you to fight on your own!"
"It's zombie busting round two!" shouted Palom.
Tellah narrowed his eyes, holding his ground. "I will not be denied Meteor!" he shouted, unwilling to let the spell that would allow him to gain vengence for his daughter Anna slip away from his hands. "Prepare yourself, monster! Cura!"
The healing waves flowed across Scarmiglione, who growled and swung his massive weight at Tellah, smashing both of his fists into the elderly man. Black sludge flew into Tellah's eyes. "Gah!" the sage shouted, rubbing his eyes. "I can't see!"
"Tellah, hold on!" shouted Cecil, blocking Scarmiglione's next swipe. "Palom! Parom!"
"Got it!" both twins shouted as they placed their hands together, charging up a powerful double dose of magic.
Scarmiglione swatted Cecil aside, charging at the Dark Knight. "Lord Golbez hasss commanded your dessstruction!" he screamed. "I shall deliver it!"
"Not a chance, ugly!" shouted Palom. "Ready sis?"
"Ready!" shouted Parom.
"Twincast! Inferno!" the duo shouted, unleashing a wave of flame and heat that was so massive that it forced the duo to shield their eyes.
Scarmiglione screamed as the fire hit him. "You won't defeat me ssso easssily!" he roared. I will not fail! I cannot fail!
"Go back to the hellhole you spawned from!" shouted Cecil, stabbing his sword into the zombie.
Scarmiglione's eyes flashed red. "Breathe this," he gasped as smog poured from his mouth, "and walk like the living dead!" His useless lungs filled themselves with every poison that lay in his hulking corpse, and he exhaled, unleashing a deadly and miserable combination of toxins. Palom cried out as he felt his eyes begin to burn. Parom fell back, paralyzed and unable to attack. Tellah, who was already blinded, felt weaker and weaker as poison spread throughout his body. Cecil felt bile forming in the back of his throat. He struggled to speak, but could not. He fell to the ground, struggling to move, when Scarmiglione struck him across the face, sending him to the ground.
Yess! the zombie thought. I mussst finish him now!
He charged at the fallen Dak Knight, who's back was turned as he struggled to move. He raised his fist and swung it down. I will ssssuceed thisss time!
Cecil whirled around. In his hands, was a bright blue bottle: a hi potion.
Scarmiglione's eyes widened. Nooo!
Rather than use it on himself, Cecil hurled the potion into the zombie king's face.
"GAAAAAAHHHH!" Scarmiglione's scream was long and loud. "It burnssss! It BURNSSS!"
Cecil stood, pulling out two more potions. He angrily tossed both of them at his enemy.
Scarmiglione backed away, clutching his wounds, unaware of how close he was to the edge of the cliff they had been standing on. "No! I will not be defeated by the likesss of you!" He stepped back again, finding empty air. Screaming the zombie fell back, grabbing onto the edge. "Oh..." he gasped. "Phew. That wassssn't so..."
CRACK.
Scarmiglione's eyes widened as the cliff he had been clutching crumbled under his weight. Shrieking, he fell into the abyss below.
Cecil stared as the zombie fell down. Golbez... he thought. You have some powerful pawns...
The soon to be Paladin turned away from the cliff, reaching into his bag for medicine for his party. Their journey was almost complete.
It took about ten minutes for Scarmiglione to stop falling. He fell down the mountain, bouncing painfully off every ledge and every rocky cliff, until he finally hit the bottom of the mountain.
THUNK!
Scarmiglione was already dead, but had he not been dead, he'd have died several times over while falling down the mountain. Several of his limbs were broken off as he had fallen, forcing him to crawl his his one remaining arm, picking up his limbs and slapping them back on. "Damn it..." he hissed angrily. "Where'sss my other leg?"
The zombie king siezed his detached limb, placing it back onto his body. "Damn it..." he muttered again, as he screwed the leg back on.
Thunder cracked in the air, and rain began to slowly pour down upon Scarmiglione. The zombie sadly forced himself off the ground and began to crawl away from the mountain. Sure, he was hurt - he was really, really hurt - but what hurt the most was the simple fact that he had failed. Again.
Scarmiglione sighed as he imagined his three partners' reactions to his latest failure: Cagnazzo would be laughing his shell off, Barbarccia would give him her trademarked disgusted sneer, and Rubicante would simply shake his head and look away, ashamed of the fiend of earth. Scarmiglione felt his rotted heart beat slower and slower as he slowly walked back to the Tower of Zot to report his latest and maybe even biggest failure of all. How could he go back to Lord Golbez like this? The Harvey worm would become a Paladin, and now he had only cemented his uselessness as a fiend, or even as a zombie.
He walked past the village of Mysdia, seeing a group of black mage and white mage children playing happily in the afternoon sun. He witnessed one awkward black mage teenager share his first kiss with a pretty white mage girl. He saw one small child playing with a kite on top of the hill. None of the petty acts of happiness could cheer him up. Not they ever really did. The one memory that really made him happy was that hilarious time when Rubicante had tried to ride a chocobo. The one time he had seen Rubicante express something other than his regular stoic attitude. The one time he had seen Rubicante scream in fear as the chocobo decided to go for a swim with its rider. That memory always made Scarmiglione cheer up. Usually. But not today.
Sighing sadly, Scarmiglione crawled away from the town, no longer heading for the distant Tower of Zot. He couldn't go back. Not now. Not after that.
The zombie walked and walked, his body a black spot in the sunset as he never ceased his sorrowful march.
The Tower of Zot floated in the skys, casting its shadow on the clouds below. It stood higher than any other tower on the planet, a proud, yet lonely sight. It was rearely seen, but when it was, it installed fear, and wonder, to all the pitiful ground creatures.
Barbariccia smirked as she walked down the halls of her castle, her servants bowing to their empress as she passed by. The wind demoness' long golden ahir trailed behind her like a regal cape. Her barely covered skin was free from any blemishes or scars. Her eyes were filled with intellegence and a certain fierceness that made her all the more intimidating. She was on the upper hierarchy among the Four Fiends, second to only Rubicante, their "fearless leader" as she had taken to calling him. Even he knew better than to fool with her. She was on top of the world. Literally.
Barbariccia walked through the halls of her palace, the doors sliding open for her. She finally reached her destination, the top floor, and her throne room of sorts.
Lord Golbez, the only being on the planet she feared, was waiting for her. He was with the delightfully moody Kain, a mind-controlled Dragoon she enjoyed teasing, and the still imprisoned white mage known as Rosa. Kain usually just sat in the corner, watching their blonde prisoner, and she would simply keep her eyes closed and praying for that Cecil person to survive.
"I'm here," she announced.
Golbez turned to her, his black armor clanking. "Excellent," he said. "I have... unfortunate news to report," he said. "Scarmiglione... had failed, to kill Cecil."
Rosa looked up, her eyes filled with hope. "Cecil...?" she whispered.
"You should have sent me," Kain said. The Dragoon had a bad habit of forgetting his place. "I could have done it."
"I agree!" Barbariccia said, before Golbez could answer. "You should have sent Kain. Watching him die would be sooooo delightful!"
Kain glared at Barbariccia, but said nothing. Golbez sighed. "Cecil is heading back for Baron. Cagnazzo can handle him, and his little friends. I have contacted him, and he has ensured me that in the case of his own demise, that he has a backup plan." He turned to Barbariccia. "However, Scarmiglione has survived his encounter with Cecil, and yet he hasn't returned to the tower yet. This is... unusual. I want you to go retrieve him, Barbariccia."
Barbariccia inwardly frowned. Of all the things she had the power to do, she was being forced to fetch Scarmiglione. Still, she smiled, "Oh, of course, milord," she said. "It's an honor."
Golbez nodded. "I leave it to you, then. I must turn my attention to the remaining crystals."
The sorcerer walked out of the room, leaving Barbariccia, Kain and Rosa, alone. Barbariccia's smile melted away. "A fetch quest," she growled. "He's sending me to go fetch..."
"That's all you're good for, isn't it?" Kain asked.
Barbariccia raised an eyebrow. "Keep laughing, Jump Boy. We won't be needing you - or your girlfriend - much longer, anyway. I think I'll kill her slowly, just because of that little remark," she threatened.
Kain became stiff. "Over my dead body," he whispered, out of Rosa's earshot.
Barbariccia's grin was so wide she could have swallowed an apple whole. "That's the idea," she said, walking out of the room. "I regret not being able to grace you with my appearence for any longer," she called to Rosa. "I'll be sure to kill you next time!" she sang.
And with that, Barbariccia flew off into the sky.
Barbariccia loved flying. She was fast, she was agile, and she was deadly. She was the queen of the air. She always had been, and her mother, and her mother's mother before her. She was happiest when she was in the air. Where she was the dominant force, not those silly Red Wings. Barbariccia rolled her eyes. They needed airships to fly, while she could do so under her own power! How could such primitive creatures control so much of the world?
That had partly been her reasoning for joining the Four Fiends in the first place. She had power, and she really wanted to flaunt it. Being with the fiends meant that she could finally show off her powers to the weaker land dwellers. She didn't even mind the others. Caganozzo was obnoxious, but tolerable, Rubicante was a decent leader, and a little bit handsome, and Scarmiglione, though the weakest, was a legitimate threat and was slightly likable, even if he reeked.
Speaking of reeking...
Barbariccia's eyes watered and she covered her nose. "Ugh!" she groaned. Scarmiglione was close. That was definantly his stench.
Her keen eyes spotted the ragged figure, leaning against a tree by a small river. He was hunched over more than he would normally be, which probably meant he wasn't in a good mood.
Barbariccia flew down to the land, her feet touching down on the soft grass. "So," she said, as she walked over to the zombie, "this is where you've been sulking." She leaned against the tree, crossing her arms.
Scarmiglione picked up a stone. He flung it with his hand, sending it skipping across the water. He reached down and grabbed another. "Go away, Barbariccia," he said. "I'm not in the mood."
"Not in the mood for me? Perish the thought!" Barbariccia said, feigning surprise. "Come on, now. Lord Golbez wants you back at the tower."
"Why? So you and the others can laugh at me?" Scarmiglione answered, bitterly. He hurled another stone, watching it hop across the water before plopping into the river.
"No, because Lord Golbez wants you back!" insisted Barbariccia. "Come on, what's so great about this little spot, anyway? It's a little lake on land. They're a gil a dozen."
Scarmiglione didn't answer. He skipped another stone.
Barbariccia's face was turning red. She hated being ignored. "Alright!" the wind demoness proclaimed. "Have it your way!" She sat down next to him, ignoring the stench, and picked up a stone. She flung it across the water. It didn't even skip once. It simply plopped into the river.
Ignoring that, she turned back to Scarmiglione. "So... How's throwing rocks been?"
"Okay, I guesssss," he hissed in reply, skipping another stone.
"Glad to hear," Barbariccia replied, tossing another stone. Again, no skipping, just sinking. "Well, things are nice back at the tower. Golbez is in a decent mood considering all that's happened, Kain is off moping somewhere, and Rosa is on the verge of tears." She turned to the zombie. "Wanna go back and make her cry?" she asked.
Scarmiglione stood up angrily. "Why don't you jussst come out and laugh!" he shouted angrily. "Come on! You know you want to do it!"
"Why would I laugh?" Barbariccia asked. She tried to hide it, but she was actually startled by the zombie's outburst. He had never yelled like this before.
"Why wouldn't you laugh?" he screamed. "I messsed it up again! The one time, the one single time Lord Golbez really dependsss on me and I ssscrew it up!" He buried his head between his hands. "How can I go back as the biggest failure again! I'm sssick of it!" He angrily collapsed back onto the ground, grabbed another stone, and skipped it again.
Barbariccia blinked. She had barely heard any of what her comrade had said. "Soooo, you're unhappy because you failed to kill that Cecil person? You don't need to worry about it! Caganozzo is taking care of him."
Scarmiglione growled. "Great," he said, skipping another stone. "Jussst what I need. Cagganozzo cleaning up after my messs."
Barbariccia tossed another stone. Again, failure. "So what?" she asked. "He's dying either way! We win, he loses, end of story! What's so bad about that?"
Scarmiglione was silent for a second. "I failed," he said. "I alwaysss fail. No matter what battle we're fighting, I'm alwaysss the firssst to fail."
"That's not... entirely true!" Barbariccia said. "Remember when we fought those desert brigands? You poisoned the whole lot them!"
"And then, they fired flaming arrowsss at me, putting me out of commisssion," Scarmiglione said, dryly.
"Yeah, but still!" Barbarccia said. "We were able to handle them easily because of you!"
"Rubicante was ticked off with me, though," Scarmiglione said.
"Why?" Barbariccia said.
"It wasss sssuposssed to be an honorable battle for him."
"Ah." Barbariccia nodded. "Yeah, that's our fearless leader for you."
Scarmiglione made a "Meh."
Barbariccia tossed another rock. It plopped again. "Damn it," she growled. "Stupid rocks..."
"You're doing it wrong," Scarmiglione said, grabbing her hand. "You don't throw it, you skip it. Horizantally, not vertically." He guided her hand and she flung the stone across the water. It finally skipped once, twice, three times, and then plopped into the water. "Ssssee? You got it."
"Yeah, I did!" said Barbariccia. "I knew I could handle it!"
"You're amazing," Scarmiglione remarked dryly, deciding to flatter her ego.
"But I couldn't have done it without you." she finished. "See what I mean? You're still a member of the Four Fiends, even if you're weaker than the rest of us, and you still have some important skills!"
"Like ssskipping sssstones?" Scarmiglione asked, unconvinced.
"Would you forget about the stones?" Barbariccia shouted. "This about your self esteem." She sighed. "Look, like it or not, you're a fiend now. You're one of us, no matter what Rubicante of Caganozzo says. Okay? We need you! And... I even need you, a little."
Scarmiglione slowly nodded. "I guessss," he said.
"You're a fiend," Barbariccia repeated. "Say it!"
"I'm a fiend."
"I can't hear you~!"
"I'm a fiend!" Scarmiglione shouted, standing up.
"Well! You said it, not me!" Barbariccia replied.
Scarmiglione smiled. "Thanksss Barbariccia," he said, sincerely. "I'm sssorry I sssnaped at you."
"Don't mention it. Please," Barbariccia said. "Caganozzo would have a cow. Let's just go home and forget this little therepy session ever happpened, okay?"
Scarmiglione nodded happily, and the two walked off, heading back to the Tower of Zot with smiles on their evil faces.
Wow. This took a lot more work than I had thought. I managed to write it down okay, but I was completely unable to do it quickly, as I also have work with Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Prehistory, the sequal to Fast Love, Birds of a Feather, Mixed Feelings, and my new fic, Titans Neo. Not to mention homework.
I actually mispelled Barbariccia's name a few times, as I forgot to add the I before the two Cs, so it was spelled Barbarccia. I had to go back and put the eyes in, and I'm still not sure if I spelled it all right.
Oh well, I did in fact have fun making this oneshot. I hope you enjoyed it too! Review and tell me what you think!
