Hey guys. Here is my one-shot. Sorry if its got some wrong words in it. I had it on my Ipod first before putting it on here. And sometimes my Ipod can go haywire and mess it up from when I last revised it.
Help.
It's something that everyone is given in life at one point. Whether it's with raking leaves or in court, it's always there. So why is it that I am offered none? It's almost like everybody wants me to be left out of life. No one questioned why I suddenly decided to wear long sleeves and jeans more often or why I was never comfortable around James anymore.
I sat in English class that day, thinking about how bad everything has been for me the last few months, when something Mrs. Williams said caught my attention. "Today we will writing a short story on our lives." She walked around the classroom, handing out two pieces of paper on each persons desk. Looking around the room, I saw that Jerry was sleeping as usual, Grace had already started, Jack was biting his pencil nervously, and James was staring straight ahead.
My stomach was suddenly filled with a sudden warmth. I mentally kicked myself. I do not like him, I thought as I wrote my name at the right hand corner on my page. After that I was I write about how I hate my abusive boyfriend and that I like my best friend? That everything was crashing down around me?
I sighed, conflicted and saw Jack looked at me through the corner of my eye. He shot me a look, but I couldn't tell what kind-pity? Confusion?-, before looking back down at his paper.
The rest of the day went by pretty quickly, considering that English was my 4th period class. Soon enough I found myself at home with my earphones in and my music playing on full blast. The house was empty as usual.
My dad had left us when I was four, my mom being five months pregnant with my little sister June. After she was born, my mom found the best job available-which was working as an editor at the local newspaper- and took as many hours as she could. That left me to take care of June and myself.
When I met Grace in the fifth grade, we instant clicked and started doing everything together. She would help around the house and taking care of June when she came over and I returned the favor by helping her with her dogs Bubby and Lucky (who were both girls).
Bubby was a wolf her dad had adopted when he was in Alaska one time who was oddly kind to everyone and Lucky was a golden retriever her aunt's friend had let her have. We lived on the same street and shared everything with each other. We were practically sisters.
Things changed when Jack started Seaford High. He was the one who got me involved with the Wasabi Warriors. After my first couple weeks as one of them, we were all a family. I started hanging out with Jack more and more. He would help out June with her homework whenever he came over, and we would walk to the dojo together.
But things went downhill when James moved to town three months ago. He had everything a girl wanted in a boy: good looks, was headstrong, and was popular. He had spiky black hair and stormy gray eyes that had the most amazing specks of gold in them. The lure you in, making any girl swoon.
And sadly I fell for them.
After we got together, Jack and I started spending less time hanging out. But the most depressing part of it all, I can remember the first time he hit like it was yesterday.
James had invited me over for a surprise he had planned for me. I came over and he had put in a movie for us to watch, which had been 'Beastly'. After the movie, James made us dinner that was lasagna and rolls.
When we were eating, he asked me how I like the movie. "It's was okay," I said after taking a drink of my pop. "Just not as good as the first time I saw it." I saw something flash in his eyes, but just shrugged it off. "When was the first time you saw it?" he asked through clenched teeth. "Jack had taken me for our friendship anniversary," I replied.
James looked at me with that look again. This time I looked into his eyes and saw pure hatred and anger. "I've been thinking," he said, sounding oddly calm. "That you should quit going to that dojo and hanging out with them." I stood from seat and put my hands on my hips. "No way," I said angrily. "I will not give up my friends just because you do not like them." James glared at me and ran to my side of the table. He slapped me across the face, sending me flying backward and crashing to the floor. I stared up at him in pain and disbelief before getting up as fast as I could and running out the door.
I winced at the memory and rubbed my cheek, which was throbbing as if it had been smacked again. I hadn't stopped going to the dojo, and had no intentions of doing so, but James still hit me after for the littlest things. One time he had punched me in the jaw for not getting an A on a test we studied for. It took one and half on an container of canceler to hide it from my friends.
After a few more weeks, I broke down and told Grace. She had rocked me when I started sobbing. I knew she meant well, but that just made me cry harder. The one thing I hated the most was being pitied. It was not my favorite feeling so I usually kept all my problems to myself. I hastily wiped away a tear that had slipped down my face without me knowing. Crying wasn't going to help me, so why do it?
I sighed as my phone started vibrating signaling I had gotten a text message. Looking at the ID, I noticed it was from Jack. Smiling a little, I opened it.
Hey, wnna hed dwn 2 circus burger?-Jack
Going out sounded great, but I had to wait for mom to get home and I wasn't really feeling up to it.
Nt felin so hot. Rain chc?- Kim
Shur. Cll me of u need anythng.-Jack
He was so sweet to me. My heart was pounding in my chest as I thought about how he would hate me for being weak. Kim Crawford was never weak. Everybody knew that. Nobody had to know. So I was going to keep it that way. With that thought in mind, I heard the front door slam. "I'm home!" June called out into the house. "Do your homework!" I shouted back at her knowingly. Today was Tuesday; she always had homework on Tuesdays.
A Thud! could be heard-I assumed she threw her backpack onto the couch-then foot steps got louder as they headed toward my room. My door was opened and my sister came in with a pencil and a sheet of paper in hand. "Help me?" June asked as she made her way to my bed. I smiled at her as she sat down next to me. Taking out my earbuds and turning off my Ipod, I grabbed the pencil and put the piece of math homework between us.
The next day, I was at my locker getting my History textbook for first period when Jack walked up to me. "Hey," he said as he leaned against the locker next to mine. I shut the metal door and turned to him. "Hi," I grumbled as I started for the stairs to get to my class before the bell rang. Before I got very far, something grabbed onto my arm, puling me back. It spun me around making face Jack.
"What's wrong?"
That questin made want to scream. Everything was wrong. My life, my boyfriend, everything. I sighed and looked at the ground. "Nothing," I muttered. "I have to go before I'm late." Quickly shaking him off, I darteed up the stairs, feeling his eyes burn holes into my back.
After suffering through 3 periods, I found myself in my seat of my English class. I drumming my fingers againsted my thigh anxiously. I hoped to god that she didn't have us read them aloud. I looked ahead warily as other students filed into the room and took their seats before the rang as usual.
Even in a familiar and oddly comforting place like a classroom where nothing other than getting homework and taking tests in going to happen, I felt unsafe. As Mrs. Williams started up today's session, James shot me a look. It looked like he was telling me to not do anything I'd regret. I sunk into my seat, proving that his message was clear.
"Today class," Mrs. Williams annouced in a firm tone. "We will be reading our short stories to our other classmates. Oh. God. A few kids groaned. I felt like slamming my head against my desk. She started calling up kids to read. Most them were quite boring, going on about what friends they had and if they had a dog or not. After at least five of more kids finished, she said a name that she really didn't need to say.
"Kim Crawford?"
I bit back a growl and made my way out of my seat and to the front of the room, feeling twenty something pairs of eyes on me as I did. Mrs. Williams handed me a paper and gave me a look of...Kindness? Warmth? I just ignored it and turning to the class before starting.
'I feel really stupid for even doing this assignment. I could of just skipped it, couldn't I? It's not like anyone cares what happens in my life. Do they? I've been told many times that I am popular and admired a lot, but still.
Nobody notices that I'm drowing. Drowing in darkness and pain. My body is covered bruises and cuts. My own screams are my twisted and tortureous melody that forms my horrid lullaby. I'm sure that half the class isn't even listening to this.
His eyes fill with disgusting pleasure, soaking up every image of me bleeding, crying, and being vunerable that he can witness. I hate that stupid smirk of his, wearing it like he enjoys the fact that he is the worst boyfriend ever.
Do I really deserve this? Is this my punishment for doing something so bad that I have to suffer through endless pain just to pay it off?
I can imagine reading this in front of the class now, he looking at me with such haterd and anger that it can't be masked. His head is probably already trying to figure out ways to end my life.
I'm slowly chipping away. Like dry and worn paint on an old house. But instead I'm dying the more I dissappear. Like they say, 'outta sight outta mind'.
Will I soon disappear so much that no one will even care? Will they try to fix me?
Even if that doesn't happen, I'll hang on. For my family, my friends, and myself.'
Looking up, I noticed that some people weere actually crying (mainly Grace).Others were staring at me in shock. But I didn't pay attention to them. I focused on one person: Jack. He stared at me with sad and angry eyes. I wondered if he was mad at me. I thought about that as I sat at my desk, once again feling all those eyes on me. I put my head on my folded arms and silently wished the floor would swallow me.
Mrs. Williams stood from her chair and cleared her throat in an attempt to get the student's attention. "That is all we have time for today," she said, sounding a little shocked. "But we will continue tomor-" The rest of her sentence was drowned out by the bell, much to everyone's pleasure. I sighed in relief and darted out of the room.
After escaping into the hall, I did the most cliche thing in the world.
I ran.
I ran from it all. Jack, James, school, all of it. I heard the faint sound of foot steps but focused on getting out of the building. After a few minutes of running, I found myself in the courtyard. My chest and legs were burning from my stupidness. Collasping on the ground, I heard the foot steps stop as well. Turning, I was met with an ugly sight.
"Hello Kim," James said with that ugly smirk of his. "That was quite a stunt you pulled." He started coming closer. I crawled away backwards until my back hit a trunk of a tree. He was coming closer and closer, his eyes watching me in amusement. James was soon close enough to touch me and kicked my ribcage. I let out a scream as I felll onto my stomach. It continued like that. With each punch and kick he delievered, a bruise formed. After a dozen too many I blacked out, but not before hearing my name be called by someone else.
"Kim..."
I groaned, not wanting to open my eyes. Something thing felt different. In a calm and soothing way. "Kim," the voice said again, sounding so comforting. I finally gave in and was met with warm, and concerned, brown eyes. I almost sighed in relief that It was Jack but didn't. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.
Just then I noticed that my head was in his lap and he was stroking my hair. Normally I would have teased him about having a crush on me, but this was not a normal moment. I sighed defeatedly, not knowing how to answer. "I guess," I said and averted his gaze. "Where's James?" I asked suddenly, my eyes jumping around the courtyard as I sat up slightly. I instantly regreted it when pain shot through probably every bone in my body.
Jack eased me back in my laying position. "It's fine," he whispered, "we had a little discussion and worked everything out." I tried not to roll my eyes when I heard that, knowing their 'little dicussion' had ended in one of them getting more than just a black eye. "okay," I said, not really convinced. "I guess that means we aren't together anymore."
I regretted saying that immediately when I Jack's face darken. His grip on my hand tightened. I winced but tried not to let him see it, knowing it would only worsen his mood. "why did you tell me?" he asked through grittted teeth. So far I wasn't liking any of his questions. "I don't know," I said feebly. "I thought telling would only make it worse." "you told Grace," he pointed out bitterly. I sighed again. I've been doing that too much.
"You just-"
"Just what?"
"Just are too over protective!"
He is stunned. for a minute I thought I saw pain, and maybe did, but shrugged it off. Hey, the truth hurts. No matter how much you don't want it to. "I am not," Jack saay defensively. rolling my eyes I sat up, now sitting in his lap facing him.
"You are too," I argued. "You protect everybody. the dojo, the school. Every-" I cut off by being knocked to the ground. I gasped, realizing that Jack was kissing me. Taking my gasp as an advantage, his tongue found his way into my mouth. I kissed back, recovering from the shock. Jack pinned my wrists over my head so I couldn't move. And frankly, I didn't want to. After who knows how long many minutes of kissing, I pull back, the need for air too strong. Jack doesn't stop though. He trails down my neck and sucks on my collarbone, sure to leave a bruise. This time, I didn't mind getting a bruise. He moves on from my collarbone and kisses my throat, making me feel light-headed. Everything seemed to be spinning, my mind going numb from pleasure.
Finally Jack stopped, pulling away after kissing me on more time on the lips. He was sitting on me, breathing heavily as he stared down at me with a look that made me squrim. "I've waited so long to do that," he said, outlining my face with the tips of his fingers. "Good," I said smirking slightly up at him. "I like playing hard to get." Jack let out a laugh before leaning down and kissing my ear. "I've had too long a wait." My insides feel like there melting wwith him being so close, breathing on me. I managed a nod and he kisses me again, more forcefully but yet it was caring. Then I realized something. "You know what?" I asked when he kissed my temple. Jack cocked his head to the side as if trying to figure out what it was by reading my mind.
"We are so totally late for 6th period."
Not as long as I wanted it to be but I enjoed writing it. I listened to the song 'Kim' by Eminem when the idea came to me. Though I'm not sure how it came to mind. But anyway it's finally up and took me forever to write it.
