Word from Leara -- Well well, thank you all for joining me in the little story known as Darkened Memoires. I bet it sucks huh. yeah it dose go ahead tell me you hate it. Tell me you love it I don't care. What the point anyway...okay I'm going to stop now. Anyway here's chapter one. I'm up to chapter three right now but I don't think I'll post it just yet. I would like to see at least one feed back before posting the next chapter. I more then likely will post it anyway since I kind of feel like it.
Background info -- Mara has had pich black dreams ever since she was a child. Only darkness lived in her dreams, and every night they made her cry. Mara is ill weak really. She wants to go with Sora and the gang to look for other worlds but she knows she'll never be able to keep up. But what happens when that large black monster wants to 'save her' from what? The drakness of her heart? From her loving friends? Or maybe its her dreams...Sora/Rikuxooc
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or anything made by Disney/Square Enix.
Darkened Memories
Chapter One: Introductions
"Huh?" I said staring at the bright blue sky above me.
"Now why is it that you are blue?" I asked "I know that that your blue to our eyes, but what color are you really. Maybe your not even blue to begin with. Maybe to another race or on another planet, your not the color I see. Then if you are not the blue that we all know then you must really be…red…" I pointed towards the sky with determination pasted on my pale face.
There was silence around me as I seceded to speak. Then without warning I let out a loud chest rattling laugh. I doubled over taking my feet out of the water and huddled them close my chest, but regretted it quickly. The boat I happened to be sitting in began to rock, causing me to shriek and to gab the side of where my back had once been.
My body stiffened letting my short black hair fall into my face. The rocking slowed to a quick stop. Very slowly I let go of the boat and resting my back agent it again so the rocking would not continue.
"See sky look what you did. I almost fell in the water." I exclaimed to the heavens. As if responding to my meaningless words the wind stared to pick up. I let out a gasp of fright grabbing a hold to the boards on either side of me, the place where I should have been sitting, instead of on the boat floor with my feet hanging over the side in the water and my back against the other side.
The boat began to slowly be pushed towards the shore by the wind and the waves. With my eyes narrowed I reached over to gab the ors just in case, but as smart as I was, I had set them just out of my reach. Just my luck
Just then my boat slammed into something causing me to bounce and smash my back into the boat again. In reflex I reached around and grabbed my back in pain.
"Owww, that hurt." I announced to the boat I was sitting in. "Never piss off the sky." I told myself making a note to never do that again. I looked above me and saw the dock.
"Oh man. Did I get lodged in the pillars of the dock…again?" I looked to my side and sure enough there was the end of the boat completely lodged in between the polls that held the dock up. I don't see how I always do that.
"Oh well…time to get unstuck." Very slowly with my wind swept hair I moved to the very end of my boat. Still sitting on the floor I grabbed the end of dock with both hands and set one foot on the pillar. Taking a deep breath I pushed.
Very quickly the boat came lose. But so did the other side. The boat veered trying to move under the dock completely. I let out a squeak or gasp (it was hard to tell) of surprise. Holding the dock tighter the boat jerked causing my weak arms to scream in protest. I groaned looking at my unevenly tanned arms.
"I just can't win today can I?" I asked myself as I started to pull myself to the left pillar. I moved slowly, my arms already hurt which was to be excepted, but I really didn't want to tare another ligament again and I don't want to get a splinter. Once near enough I ringed my arms around the pillar, I reminded myself of when I was little and hugging someone's leg. Then I pulled the boat so it sat comfortable next to its companions.
I let out a sigh tying the boat to the same pillar I had just been attached to. Standing in the boat I stared at my bare feet with a dazed look. Then I reached up and held onto my upper arm. It still stung. I'm going to have to be careful. I thought to myself, If I don't then I'll really regent it later.
At that moment the waves moved my boat and causing me to come to my sences. I turned my head to see the one man type boats that were very similar to mine.
"I think that's there boats…" I said with a pause. "That's definitely Kairi's." I said looking at the boat closest to me. Still looking at the boat I slowly climbed out of my own boat onto the dock.
"They must be at the raft then." I said speaking out my thoughts once again. With a few seconds of pause I swiftly turned, my short ebony colored hair following. I began to walk toward the east side of the shore. But before I could get to even the steps of the dock I realized.
"Oh, my shoes!" I said quickly running back to my boat and grabbing my slip on's, then setting them on the wooden boards of the dock, I slipped them on.
After tapping the toe of my shoe, on the wood boards I looked at my watch that was strapped tightly to my wrist. I took a moment to read the hands.
"Oh no it's a lot later then I thought." I almost yelled taking off, jumping on to the sand heading towards the east shore, losing my shoe as soon as I started running on the soft sand.
"I can not believe it's as late as it is." I was under the bridge now ready to turn the corner but was put to an unexpected stop. The next thing I knew was that, I was now on the ground and something heave was on top of me. I was dazed by the air suddenly being knocked out of me. What the hell was that
"Oh no, Mai are you okay?" A girl's voice asked. She sounded worried, but I think I would be worried to if I just saw something ram into one of my friends…oh wait no I would have found that funny.
"Ya know Selphie I don' think that she is, I don' think I'd be either if Tidus fell on me." I felt that same unwanted and unneeded weight move until it rolled off of me.
"Ha ha very funny Wakka, Mara are you okay?" It was another boy, I still felt dazed and winded. When I was fully sure what was going on, I opened my eyes to find a pare of bluish green eyes staring at me. In the background I could see other sets of eyes as well.
In reflex I used my hand to push the set of eyes away form me. I heard of groan of protest. I looked at the eyes again. It was just Tidus, the blond haired wonder. He was normal to say the least, but a bit hot headed but a very, very good person at heart. He was a really good friend.
Wait, why was my hand on his face?
"Oh sorry Tidus," I apologized moving my hand away form the boy. I looked up at the two other teen that were standing behind the blond.
The first was the tallest and the oldest of all of the teens on the island or rather the oldest teen that bothered to go to the island any more, Wakka. Not only was he the oldest but was one of the most weirdness dressed person on the islands, and not even including his hair.
Then there was the shortest of the group and I was pretty sure she was the youngest…but I might be wrong. After all I wasn't that much younger then Riku, and Riku was only the second oldest because of Wakka.
Selphie…she was another strange one. Her favorite color was yellow, which was very easy to tell from her out fit. She loved any kind of romance out there and she loved to jump rope.
"Nah it's okay. I was kind of excepting that." Tidus said rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. I gave the boy a small but sweet smile, not able to think of anything to say. I sat up using my hands for support, looking at the small group.
"Is something going on that I don't know about?" I asked staring at there strange smiles. All of teens looked at each other, there smiles vanishing.
"No there's nothing." All three said at the same time. I narrowed my eyes, raising an eyebrow with it.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were going to throw me a party or something." I said without much thought, "But that can't be the case, now can it, after all none of you know when my birthday is, so I don't really have to worry." I said standing up dusting off the unwanted sand that was sticking to my clothes. It was true I never told any of my fiends when my birthday was. Well they never really asked at first, and I was hopping that they never would. But recently they had been asking me about it and every time I would change the subject. I didn't want to celebrate the day I was born…a day that I didn't even know.
"So what are you planning?"
"Were not planning anything really." They again said in unison. My eye brow rose even higher, my hands moved to my hips.
"Right?"
"Really!" they were getting desperate now. I let out a sigh of annoyance.
"Okay, fine, whatever." I said waving my hand to them, "Have any of you seen Sora and the others?" I asked deciding to change the subject.
"Nah, I havn' seen em?"
"I haven't"
"They must be on the other side of the island." Tidus finished pointing to was door where I was heading before I had been knocked over.
"Okay thanks. See you guys later." I said giving them a small wave walking off, "Oh and bye Selphie." I said quickly before she could say anything. I what you could say ran for it. I pulled the door open and ran though it. Once the door was closed I let out a sigh leaning against it. I'm tired… my mind told me in first person. I smiled, starting to feel the tiredness my mind had the decency to show me.
I looked around hopping to find Riku hanging around the area in hopes I could try to convince him to carry me…ha ha ha I normally don't do that, but I just didn't want to walk right now, some how I persuaded my legs to move over to the edge of the small bit of land that there was and I sat down, letting my legs hang over the side.
"I don't want to walk over there…" I said looking over the bridge, "At least not over the bridge. It's broken apart anyway." I sighed staring at the blue coated sea.
…I'd better stay awake, if I fall asleep again then I mite not wake up for a while. The sun would have gone down before I would even wake up again. I knew that I was worrying to much, but it was true none the less. I knew that Kairi or someone else would fine me and wake me up or just take me home.
I hated that.
I hated it that I could keep up, I hated that I was never like the others, I hated it that I was forced to be left out of the games and everything that the rest of the teens got to do. I wonder if any of them really know what's wrong with me.
"MARA!" if I could have I would have jumped out of my own skin. I turned to the person that had sounded my name.
"SORA, DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" I screamed at the boy so far away form me. I saw the browned haired boy laugh although I could not hear it.
"Sorry." He yelled back. "Do you need help?" He asked holding his hands over his mouth again to propjet his voice. I was about to say yes but I just could bring myself to asked for help again.
"No, I'm okay." I said forcing a smile. I turned my head to face the sea again.
Sora, how to define Sora, oh I know, he's one of the most best friends that you can ever have. His spiky brown hair only added to the "I'm an awesome friend" factor. As did his unique out fit.
"Come on Mara." Again I wanted to just jump out of my own skin, "You can say that you can't walk any more. We all know that you get tired easy." Damn Sora and his big heart. I stared up at the bright eyed boy as he gave me one of his heart raising smiles. Damn he was walk fast, some how Sora had walked over the bridge before I could even notice. The boy reached out a hand to help me up. I stared at the hand then sighed grabbing a hold and forced my body to stand.
"There see that wasn't so bad huh." Sora said his grin widening. I just could help it, I could stop it so I smiled, but didn't say anything.
"Ha that's what I thought." Sora said as he began to drag me over to the bridge. Oh no.
"Sora I can't…" but he cut me off.
"Don't worry Mai I'll take care of it just relax and catch your breath." Again damn Sora and his big heart
"But Sora I can't jump right now."
"Don't worry about it"
"But Sora…"
"Come on Mara, don't you trust me?"
"You sound like Riku."
"No I don't."
"You so sure?"
"Yes." We had made it to the first broken part of the bridge. Sora let go of my hand and dropped to his knee.
"Come on and get on, Riku and Kairi are worried about you." Sora said looking back at me.
He wants me to get on his back. I thought to myself. To tell the truth I only let Riku give me a piggy back ride, that way I didn't have to worry about being to heave for anyone else. Sora was one of those people.
"Sora I…"
"Don't worry about it Mara. Let's just hurry before Riku starts looking for you to. I told him I would bring you back. I really don't want him to come looking when he doesn't have to." Sora said still in the same position. I made a face ready to protest, but Sora wasn't going to have that.
The boy stood up walking towards to me he grabbed both my arms and ringed them around his neck. I was so ready to protest and fight back, but I think I fell into a slight state of shook…well more surprise then anything. He grabbed my legs around my knees and hosted my up higher on to his back. After getting comfortable Sora began to walk forward jumping over the broken bridge.
The guilt had started to sink in around me. I hated that they thought they had to do this for me. I wasn't worth it. Why didn't any of them see that?
"Mara, do you even eat?" Sora asked suddenly I moved my head to face him.
"What do you mean?"
"You're so light, you'd think you weighed only ten pounds." I narrowed my eyes lightly smacking the teen on the side of his head.
"I don't weigh ten pounds." I said defensively.
"Then how much do you weigh?"
"None of your business."
"Aw come on I won't tell."
"I don't care it's none of your business."
"You're no fun Mai." Sora's grin was still there, to this day I don't understand how he was able to keep the smile on all the time. I can't remember a time when he didn't have that smile. (Not counting the times when he was little and scrapped his knee)
Sora turned the last corner and hoped down on to the sandy shore. I pressed my eyes into his solder. I knew what was coming and I really didn't want Riku and Kairi doting over me in worry.
…
….
…...
Nothing happened. I looked up there was the raft but no one on it.
"Where's Riku and Kairi?" I asked,
"I don't know," he said looking around, "they must have went looking for you." Sora walked towards the raft, "Where were you any way, I could find you at all and I checked where you were before and you weren't there. For a minute I thought that you were still at home."
"I was in my boat." I said quietly. Why didn't any of them check the water by the dock.
"Did you fall asleep?" Sora asked, I could hear the worry in his tone.
"No…well not really, I dozed off." Damn guilt
"You should be careful Mara. I you fall asleep on the water you mite get swept away." Sora said in worry again.
"I know, I try not to, I…just can't help it." I said sounding guilty, with a little sadness on the side into his back.
"Don't worry about it. Just next time tie the boat to the dock." I laughed.
"Okay." I said with a smile.
Sora dropped down on his knee and let go of my legs. I gained my balance and let go of the brown haired teen. Sora stood and looked around trying to find his other missing friends, while I leaned my back against the flag pole.
"Uh…Sora you can go look for them if you want. They must be wondering where we are?" I said with the fake smile I had mastered so well. Sora turned to look at me.
"You sure?" he asked, it was out of habit.
"Yeah, go ahead." I said making a motion to shoo him away "Don't worry about me. I'm not going anywhere." I reassured.
"Uh…okay…" He said reluctantly "I'll be right back." Sora said running in the direction he had just come. Before I knew it he was gone. I stared after him for a moment then faced forward so I could shift my knees till they were against my chest. I rested my head on top of them, ringing my hands under my knees.
I slowly turned my head where Sora had left making sure he was gone. Once I was more or less sure I shut my eyes.
i I wonder when I should tell them that I'm not going to go with them/i I asked with a sigh. I truly wanted to go with the people that I considered friends, but I knew that I would never have the energy to keep up with them. You see I was unnaturally weak. A lot of people thought that I mite have been born prematurely. But I didn't think so. My brain worked fine it was just my stamina. My stamina was very low. Walking around this very island once was as high as my stamina would go. After that I have to sit down.
But there is something else wrong with me and all of my friends had seen it for them selves. I of course lied to them about it. I wouldn't be able to stand it if they tried to take care of me any more then they already did. If I told them the truth then they would probably go as far as to make me stay at home and never leave, and I couldn't so that, going out to the island every day was the only thing keeping my stamina as high as it was.
I waited for Sora to come back for a while and when my energy finally had retuned, I had started cutting the unnecessary branches off of the logs that had not yet been tied on to the raft. Nothing happened as I sat there only the sounds of the waves kept me company. I slowly ran my hand over the wood, pleased to find that it had been cut perfectly.
I sat the log on the raft and moved to the next one, but before I was able to grab a hold of it a voice stopped me
"Mara," It said loudly but it wasn't enough to scare me. I turned to the voice, I sat for a moment and my face grew into a smile.
"Hey, Riku." I said rising my arm waving.
Riku the silver haired teen that was good at everything. It was funny Riku and Sora were rivals ever since they were little, I remember it all so well. I would always sit on the side lines and watch as those two fought over completely random things, like who was going to sit in the front seat on the bus, who was going to get the last bit of chocolate someone had brought, or even who was going to walk into the secret place first. I even think they used to fight over me…at least before Kairi came along.
Riku jumped down form the many coconut trees that lined the entrance which was set high up above them. Once on the ground Riku all but ran towards me with a light anxious look in his eyes.
"What happened?" he asked quickly once he had gotten close enough. I smiled.
"Nothing, I just dozed off in my boat." I said knowing what he was talking about. He let out a sigh of aggravation.
"You know that's not a good idea Mara." Riku said running his hand down his face. My smile widen to a grin.
"I know Riku. Sora has already given me that lecture today." I said sweetly. This wasn't going to last long I knew that, as long as I kept a smile on my face Riku would drop the subject all together.
"Sigh…figures. Just be careful next time okay?" He told me running a hand though his hair, right on cue. I nodded in understanding. I wanted to laugh so badly but held back the temptation.
"Um…so where's Sora and Kairi?" I asked.
"Have no idea. I think Kairi was in the tree house the last time I checked. I was in the secret place when Sora found me." I started up at him
"Why were you in there?"
"Looking for you."
"Since when do I go into that cave?" He shrugged
"Don't know? Just wanted to make sure."
"Oh…" I'm going to start wishing that guilt didn't exist if this doesn't stop.
It's true that Riku and I don't talk a lot when we are together. We have always been like that. Most of the time we will only say one word sentences, a simple 'yes' or 'no' after a question was the best for us. We would talk like that all the time; it was just how we were…no that's how we are.
"HEY!" Oh there's Sora. I turned my head to face the voice I knew so well and sure enough there he was with Kairi by his side.
"Took you guys long enough to show up, what were you doing sharing a paopu fruit or something?" Riku asked, forcing the smile off his face. I could help but laugh as Sora stated to freak out.
"Of course we weren't!" I could see Sora's anxious sweat running down his face. Riku could always get Sora riled up.
"Hey, I was just kidding." Riku said letting a smirk pass his face, "You're so up tight Sora." Kairi just smiled as I did.
Time pasted slowly the rest of the day. We spent the entire time finishing the raft. I didn't move away from it. I did what I had been doing early, cutting off the branches of the logs that were to be used for the raft.
Once I was finished with a log Riku would tie it to the rest of the logs. Sora was running around getting the supplies that I had would have pointed out. Kairi was helping Riku tie the logs together and helping me out with my job, soon after the sun had set in the western sky.
"I'm back." Sora yelled running with what seemed like the tenth log that day, sitting under his arm. Sora walked over the raft and sat next to me, the log in his lap.
"I'm beat." Sora fell backwards onto the wood boards "Can we call it a day?" Sora said looking over at Riku. He seemed reluctant to answer.
"Yeah Riku lets call it a day. We can finish the raft tomorrow, we're no where near done. We won't be able to finish before the sun sets." I said tiring to convince him to say yes. I felt as tired at Sora looked.
Riku seemed to be contemplating on an answer, then after a moment's silence.
"Sigh…Alright, we'll finish tomorrow." Riku told us giving in, although I could tell he was tired to.
"Are you sure?" Kairi asked. Sora and I stared at Kairi in shook,
"Kairi no," Sora yelled frantic "If you say that then he'll want us to stay longer!" Sora was waving his arm franticly staring at Kairi. She laughed
"Okay I'll shut up." She said waving her hand to her brown haired friend. Sora let out a sigh.
"Well if you put it that way Kairi, I think you have a good idea let's just finish as much as we can until the sun sets." Riku said shutting his eyes. I turned my wide eyes to him
"Riku how could you?" I said holding my hands to my chest in mock hurt.
"Yeah Riku, we've been working all day, we're tired. Come on Riku let's just go home." Sora pleaded in a whiny tone. Riku laughed opening his eyes looking at the younger boy near him.
"Alright, how can I say no to those faces?" He said standing up. Both Sora and I looked at each other and saw that we both had puppy dog looks. We stared at each other for a moment then began to laugh. Riku and Kairi were laughing with us.
"Alright let's go Mr. and Mrs. Whiny." Riku said walking past us, "You to Kairi." Kairi laughed standing up.
"Yeah you two lets go." She said her hands behind her back. Sora and I stared after them
"That's just plain mean Riku." I yelled standing up, Sora by my side.
"Yeah Riku!" Sora yelled after him. All Riku did was raise a hand waving it back and forth. I opened my mouth in shock.
"Riku," I yelled at his back. I narrowed my eyes at the teen then followed, Sora close behind me. "Riku, would you stop for a second?" I said to his back once again, I walked past Kairi my anger flaring.
"Riku stop," Again he ignored me. I glared at his back "That's it." I said quietly then ran forward.
"Mara," I heard Kairi yell but it was too late. I jumped onto Riku's back in a last attempted to have him look at me. What I hadn't taken into account was that Riku was just about to jump the broken bridge. So he jumped short. The next thing I knew was that I was knee deep in water.
"Mara! Riku! Are you two okay!?" I opened my eyes and looked at Riku's back that was now right in my face. I let go almost once falling backward
"Oh my god Riku I'm so sorry." I said my hands planted over my mouth. He just sat there. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you were going to jump. I'm so sorry." I said though my fingers. I saw Riku shake his head getting out the excess water. I began to repeat myself
"I'm so sorry." That was all I could think to say. Over an over I would repeat those three words. I could stop myself, it was like an old habit I didn't know I had. Every time I did something like this I would apologize over and over again with no real end.
Then I felt a hand of my shoulder. I looked up just realizing that I had bowed my head. Riku had a smile on his face.
"Don't worry about it." He said simply, then there was a splash.
"Are you okay?" Sora asked looking us over. I turned to face him and smiled
"I'm okay." I said feeling my voice crack. Oh god was I about to cry? I quickly rubbed my hand to my eyes making sure the premature tears were gone.
"Yeah were fine, but that did hurt." Riku said standing up holding his back. "Jess I feel like an old man." Riku said starching his arms. I quickly stood up making sure not to let Sora help me. I had done enough today.
"Um…let's go." I said with a smile. Quickly walking past the two boys I jumped onto the small island I had been on earlier. I turned around to face them
"Come on Kairi, let's go." I yelled holding a hand over my mouth. Kairi stared at me then gave me a nod of understanding. She jumped over the rest of the bridge till she was next to me. I could see Riku and Sora both looking at each other with confused looks. I turned away from them quickly and walked with Kairi to the exit.
"Is something wrong Mara?" Kairi asked as we walked through the door. I shook my head.
"Nope, nothing at all." I said not being fully truthful. The guilt was creeping up on me again. I was wondering why Riku didn't get mad at me for doing that. He wasn't one to keep his temper that well.
"You're so lucky Mara." Kairi said suddenly
"What?" I said looking at her. "How's that?"
"Well…you're the only one who could ever get away with something like that with Riku. He treats you like some lost sister." She told me with a smile "You must be so happy."
Her words sounded sincere but I knew that those words were not true. I know that Riku only pitied me, pitied my illness.
Oh Kairi you're so modest I told myself with a smile. This red haired girl was always so kind, just like Sora. To was so hard to ever pretend that she could ever be mean…not that she was.
I had always loved Kairi's red hair. She looked like she belonged on the island along with the others, unlike me and my black hair and gray eyes.
"You think so…" I asked. She nodded. "I see. I never looked at it that way." I said honestly.
"Well you should have, silly." She said with a laugh
"ha ha, maybe your right?"
"Of course I am."
"Kairi…"
"ha ha ha," I looked at the boards of the stairs to the dock, once they had come into my line of vision. I let out a yawn.
"Lets just go home, get some rest, and then wake up early to come back to finish the raft." I said to the girl next to me.
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow Mara." She said smiling as she got into her boat. I shortly followed.
"Same here." I said to her then looked over at the two boys running towards us. I let out a laugh. "See you tomorrow Sora, Riku." I yelled my arms in the air waving. I laughed again then I reached around me to grab the ors. I set them in my lap then began to untie the rope that held my boat in place. Now the rope sat on the bottom of my boat. I slowly set my ors in the water and slowly began to row towards the island shore.
