Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
There is nothing here for him. All that is present is the darkness; devoid of any emotion or feeling, just like him. He feels nothing since the death of his lover. He can't function right, he can't eat or think or sleep. His depression is killing him deep inside, and he knows it. Yet he won't do anything about it. He'll let himself die slowly. It's better than not being with the only one he ever cared for. At least he'll rest in an eternal sleep. He might even be able to see the one he lost. Maybe…
"For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God."
He knows that verse all too well. He's heard it countless times. The old, bald preacher mentions it each time he gives a sermon. Mihael is tired of hearing it. He's tired of coming to church. He gave up his faith a long time ago, replacing the maroon cross with nothing more than a pendant; a visual to prove his change of direction. He hates this place. Every time he hears the verse repeated, he's reminded that he himself was a sinner, still is, and forever will be. He's reminded of everything he's ever done just to be number one in a life of cursed organized crime. But what hurts him most is that he's reminded of what he did to come one step closer to catching kira:
He killed his lover.
It wasn't the bullets that pierced through Mail's body; it was Mihael himself, his arrogance, and his pride; his determination to beat Near. That was his motive, and perhaps, deep inside, his only. And Mail died because of it. He put him in harm's way, put his life in danger; and danger found him with not mistake, while Mihael came out just fine.
Mihael can't live much longer anymore. The night of what would have been Mail's twenty-first birthday, Mihael climbs onto his bike without his helmet, and drives. He drives to the one place he planned for his demise; Tokyo bridge. He's planned it for the last six months. He'll drive off the bridge into the freezing water below, strapped down tightly with the metal cuffs he's attached to the bike. He hasn't even installed a 'release' button, just to make sure that there is no way out, and that he can't escape at the last minute.
As the bridge comes closer in sight, Mihael pushes the 'lock' button, and is immediately cuffed. He speeds up, and drives straight through the metal rail. He falls, faster and faster, and his body is greeted by ice cold water.
Ice cold. The same way his emotions were. The same way his heart was when he revealed his plans to Mail, and said that there was a chance that they'd both die.
Mihael floats to the bottom of the river, and doesn't struggle.
For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God. The damned verse whizzes through his mind one last time, almost in a mocking way. As he reaches the bottom, lungs completely filled with water, he has one last thought before his eyes slip closed forever.
Happy birthday, Mail.
