TITLE: Run Agent Run!
AUTHOR: jeri
E-MAIL: ggal1116@yahoo.com OR agentjeri@thexfiles.com
WEBSITE: http://www.geocities.com/jeris_basement/index/html
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: XRA, M-POV
KEYWORDS: MSR, post-ep
SPOILERS: Requiem
ARCHIVE: Sure, just drop me a line!
STARTED: September 8, 2000
FINISHED: September 10, 2000

SUMMARY: Mulder tries to convince the Bounty Paper Towel Man
to let him go. Sequel to "Abduct This!"

**DISCLAIMER: Yes, I've done it again. So sue me. ::re-reads
that last statement:: NO! WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (PS, the title is once again stolen from
my X-Fools CD)

EXTRA NOTE: I am SO SORRY!!! This is what happens when I
write late at night...AT! was another night-owl fic...someone
please send me some sleeping pills (joking, joking!). But
thanx to Smurf for her equally night-owl input ;)

^*^*^

::Previously, on the X-Files::

::Luvrgal4Me: "Sir, there's something else I need to tell you.
Something that I need for you to keep to yourself..."
Luvrgal4Me: oh hell what am i doing why am i telling him this
especially now of all times he'll feel even worse oh well too
late now

SkinnManAP: oh god here it comes one last time please let her
be okay

Luvrgal4Me: "I'm having a hard time explaining it. Or
believing it..."

SkinnManAP: oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

Luvrgal4Me: here goes nothing
Luvrgal4Me: "I'm pregnant."

SkinnManAP: jesus h christ

Holy fucking cow!::

^*^*^

This is so unbelievable.
No, let me re-phrase that: This is so abso-fuckin-lutely
unbe-fuckin-lievable! This is so mind blowing...
Wait. Let's think here for a moment. Scully is barren. She
had her ova siphoned out of her womb when *she* was abducted.
So she can't get pregnant. She must have gotten the wrong test.
But let's think again. This *is* Scully we're talking about.
She knows even better than me that she can't be pregnant. This
means she would have the test done so many times to confirm
it...hell, she'd probably do the test herself! So that means
she's convinced. Which means she's pregnant.
Holy fucking cow.
Before I can control myself, I hear a loud "whoop!" of
excitement leave my mouth. I cringe instantly, realizing that
this will draw unwanted attention from unwanted Fettabees.
Of course, I think I know why Bobba Fett was po'ed that I
was jumped aboard. I guess he's a family man at heart. Kinda
reassuring, isn't it? So now that I've found the name of the
Rebel Base...hmm...
I turn toward the door and yell, "HELLO?!" at the top of
my lungs. I figure banging on the metal will help as well,
so I begin to pound my poor fist repeatedly into the door.
A zillion years later, Bobba Fett flings open the door,
and his face is contorted in a decidedly infuriated way.
"What the hell is your problem?!" he bellows.
Somehow, I stand my ground. "I've found the name you
wanted." I hold up the slip of paper that reads "Sthgincitlec";
there's no way that I'm gonna try to pronounce that.
He gapes at me. "Sthgincitlec? Of course!" I take note of
his pronunciation: sith-gin`-sit-lek.
"So, uh, where is this Sthgincitlec?" I impress him with
my quick study of alien language.
"Sthgincitlec is our word for your inner earth," he
replies calmly. "We've always known that it was possible for
the Rebels to have inner space technology, but we've not seen
proof of that. I suppose they've hidden it quite well..."
"Guess so!" I agree heartily. "So, how 'bout you drop me
off in DC now, and we'll keep your secrets for world
domination our little secret?"
BF scoffs at this, as he rightly should. He knows as well
as I do that the moment I get some solid evidence to back me
up, I'm telling the world about the Project.
"I'll see what I can do, Agent Mulder. It may take some
time, however. We have a schedule to follow, you know."
I nod, even though I really haven't the slightest idea what
he's talking about. "Um, well, I've got a couple questions
then." I don't know where this is coming from, either. I'm
not even sure what I'm going to ask.
"What do I call you?"
*That's* what I *had* to ask him? How lame!
BF looks at me oddly; I'm sure he's thinking that I'm a
nutcase and should never have been allowed in the FBI in the
first place.
"I guess you can call me Luke," he finally responds.
I'm dumbstruck. Luke. Luke Skywalker? Shit, I've been
calling him Bobba Fett all this time...
Wait? Luke Skywalker? That reminds me...
"How about Eddie?" I ask, trying not to cringe and/or
laugh. Luke/Eddie/BF doesn't get it, so I just shake my head.
"Well, anyway, about my second question..." Oh I can't wait
to hear this... "Is there any way that I can get people that
I hear to hear me back?"
Christ, I'm a Goddamn genius!
"Well, sure," he answers me, his tone suggesting that this
is the most obvious thing in the world next to the fact that
OJ did it. "Just think something back and click on Send."
"You use the IM method, too?" Method? How do I know it's
a method?
"Sure." Once again, I feel like a juror in Ito's court.
"What else would I use?"
He walks away, shaking his head in what I think is
amusement.
I return to my "comfortable" seat, and once again I
concentrate on Luvrgal4Me's IM.

Luvrgal4Me: get me out of here like now right now i want to
get going

In my mind I create a nice screen name that accurately
describes me: SenorSpooky. Hey, it works!

SenorSpooky: scully can you hear me

Luvrgal4Me: oh great now i'm hearing his voice i'm delusional
on top of being pregnant now they'll never let me out

SenorSpooky: no no scully it's me it's mulder i'm okay really
i'm on the ship that skinner saw but i'm not injured or
anything

Luvrgal4Me: oh god mulder is it really you god how is this
happening how are you doing this

SenorSpooky: heh heh it's kinda hard to explain suffice it
to say that i've got those powers back i had to use them to
listen in on krycek

Luvrgal4Me: you can do that just listen in god have have you
listened to me

I'm not sure what the "right" answer is in this case.
Should I tell her that I know her secret, *our* secret? Or
should I feign ignorance and let her tell me the news herself.
I better go for honesty.

SenorSpooky: actually i did a bit

I pause to make her wonder...

SenorSpooky: mom

^*^*^

We talked for a long time. Well, I guess "talk" isn't the
right word, exactly, but our thought-conversation was quite
lengthy. We decided that it's best if no one else knows that
we can communicate like this. She's going to play the part of
the widow, not let anyone move into my spot, but not let them
know that I'm still around. Not even Skinner will get this
information. We know he's been compromised, and we don't want
Krycek knowing this information.
I told her to find out the sex of the baby as soon as it's
possible to do so. I want to know...well, just in case the
unmentionable happens. If I don't make it back home, I'd like
to know if I have a son or a daughter. I've already begun a
list of names that I like. "Fox" has been studiously omitted.
Of course, our biggest fear is that this baby isn't just
a happy miracle. The whole incident with CGB is sticking in
my mind rather annoyingly. She's already made appointments to
do paternity tests. Her doctor is rather confused as to why,
but all she tells him is that she just wants to see it in
writing.
I'm patiently waiting for Luke/Eddie/BF to come back and
tell me when I can go home. I realize that we may be going in
the opposite direction now, but as long as I'm guaranteed to
return before Scully begins to show, then I won't complain,
and I'll recommend their limo service to all my MUFON friends.
I don't feel like sitting here anymore. There's no view,
and no one to talk to. Scully's got to do some official stuff,
and she's requested that I leave her alone for a few hours.
So, I open the door and go for a self-guided tour around
the ship. Ah, there's the kitchen...whoa, I don't think I'm
gonna ask for food anytime soon. I keep walking on, wondering
where the cockpit is. Do alien ships have a cockpit? Or do
computers take care of all the flying? I have a deep desire
to find out the answer to that question. Onward!
Fifteen minutes later (I guess, my watch stopped a while
ago), I come across a room that holds the other Oregonian
abductees.
"Agent Mulder?"
I find the owner of the timid voice: Theresa Nemman Hosey.
"What's up, Theresa?"
She looks a bit flustered. "You found the information?
That...that man said we might be able to go home soon."
I nodded. "Yes, I found what they wanted. I don't know when
we're going home, though. I really hope it's soon..."
I didn't realize I'd said that last phrase aloud until
Theresa and Ray, who sat beside her, nodded. "The baby..."
he moaned, and it took me a minute to stop wondering how
they'd found out about Scully and realize they meant *their*
baby.
"How about I go wander around and try to find him? Maybe
he'll know what's going on by now." They nod encouragingly;
I shoot them a quick smile and head back into the corridor.
I think I'm hopelessly lost, when out of the blue I see
the Bounty Hunter trotting my way.
"Agent Mulder, they don't want to let you go," he announces
in a low voice.
"What?!" I'm stunned. What use could I possibly be now?
"Why not?"
"They feel that your powers and quick learning abilities
could come in handy at unknown points in the future. To put
you back now, then take you again, would only cause unwanted
attention. They feel that it's just easier to cryogenically
freeze you to hold access to your brain."
"You're fucking with me."
Damn, that's twice in five hours (I think) that I've used
that word! A new record for me!
"I assure you, Agent Mulder, if you do not escape when we
drop off the other Oregonians, you will never leave. So here
is what I suggest:
"Run, Agent. Run."

THE END

^*^*^

4 out of 5 doctors say expressing your enjoyment of a fanfic
to its author increases your life expectancy 23-23.8 years.
The other doctor was killed by Cancerman before we could ask
him.

jeri, president, xpab: x-philes against bees
Join by writing to: kill_em_all@thexfiles.com OR
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