"Well, it's not like they would ever notice if I did jump."
Oh really?
"Mm, really."
You stand with your back against the fence, the wind on the roof rough and persistent to whip your unkempt hair carelessly about your face. I watch the clouds reflected in your glassy marble eyes, head tipped back to the heavens and squinting against the bright sunlight. It's a beautiful day, the sky is your favorite color, but you don't smile anyway.
"What do you think?"
Hm?
"About death."
I have to think about that, it's pretty vague. I guess I think that it's something like a destination, the end of a journey - a long one in my case.
"All beings have to reach it someday then?" You turn, fingers hooking in the chain links and peering down at the busy city below. I can't see it from where I'm standing, but I can hear the bustle of thousands of people and the occasional chime of the trains going in and out of the nearby station.
I stall again before answering. I guess we do all have to die, survival is only a means of delaying the inevitable.
You laugh. "That's a gloomy outlook, but I suppose I should expect that from you."
You're the one bringing up death.
"Mm, I suppose that's true. Well, at delaying the inevitable, you've succeeded a long time, ne? What will you do when your current life comes to an end, find another piece of jewelry to inhabit?"
I don't think that's possible. Plus, I think I'm ready to move on now, three thousand years is a long time to exist, if not be entirely alive.
There's a clanking sound as your brow hits the fence, metal creaking slightly with your weight. "You want to die?"
Eventually.
"What do you think about dying now?"
You don't sound finished, so I don't respond. As expected, you continue, "Look, it's high enough, if we fell there's no way we could survive. Don't you think it would be nice?"
No. Dying is a coward's way out you know.
You shrug, still turned away from me. "I don't really mind being a coward. I think I'd rather people thought that of me than nothing at all."
So you'd die for attention? Or is it that you're dying because you're not getting enough? You're literally dying for someone to love you.
"Shut up."
Fine.
You look up again to watch some seagulls fly overhead, wailing their eerie cries. "Shut up!" you yell, this time at the birds that couldn't care less about your pent up snarls of fury. They drift on in the wind as though the world below were nothing to them.
"You won't even let me die, really?" you ask sometime later, once your rage has subsided. You've turned back to me now, looking somewhat drained with the mere effort of being angry - no wonder you're tired, I know first hand how hard it is to be so hateful all the time.
You laugh hollowly. "That's really unfair, you know. You come into my life and destroy everything.. and now you get to start from scratch now you've finished with me. I wonder what god I pissed off in my past life..."
I cant deny that, I've accepted my guilt long ago. Disowned by your family, mistrusted by your friends, school career ruined beyond repair - I left a crumbled ruin of your adolescence behind me in my destructive wake and it's not something I can redeem myself for. So I listen.
Dying isn't the answer. Don't you want to do something with your life? I imagine the things that you could do with your abilities, the kind wife you might eventually have if you were as sweet as you used to be.
"There isn't anything that could fix this mess of a life you've left me with," you shoot back spitefully.
I've sworn myself to you before the gods, I can't offer any more amends than that. I put up with your rage and your tantrums and your tears because it's all I can do. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the pain I caused you.
"Well that's kind of you. A little depressing that the person I hate the most is more thoughtful than anyone else in my life."
Not much I can say to that.
"So you really think I'll let you stay by me forever?"
You haven't asked me to leave yet.
"Would you leave if I asked you to?"
Yes.
"And if I asked you to kill me?"
...
"Bakura."
I meet your eyes, and they are as hard as stone - as hard as your heart has become.
"I want you to kill me. Will you do it?"
AN: Did'ja miss us? -Heart fingers.-
