Abandoned.
Broken.
Alone.
Second Best.
Clare Edward never quite measured up to her oh – so – perfect sister. Darcy had the looks, the grades, the guys. Her parents always favored her. But Darcy had always been there for her when she needed sisterly advice. After Darcy was done with therapy, Clare thought everything would go back to the way it was, but it didn't. Darcy said she had to 'repent her sins' by helping build schools in Kenya.
Just like that, the only family member that paid attention to her was gone.
That was when the fighting started, when Darcy left. That's when Clare realized they held their marriage together because of Darcy. She realized they didn't really care about her. It was all about Darcy.
She was just second best.
…
Then there was always K.C. and Jenna. She'd thought Jenna was her friend, she thought she could trust her.
Obviously not.
She stole K.C. She took him when Clare wasn't watching – or didn't want to see. She refused to see what was going on between them until it was too late.
But Jenna didn't deserve all the credit; K.C cheated on her the first chance he got, leaving her bitter and heartbroken.
She was second best once again.
…
She was heartbroken, helpless, and desperate. Then along came Declan. Declan Coyne, the hottest guy in school, and he took the time to talk to her about his travels. She was attracted to him, she was fascinated by the new and odd feelings she had for him. She wrote those steamy stories, had those dreams, hoping her and Declan would be together forever – not that they were even together in the first place.
She ruined her chances when she kissed him anyway, she was soon re-introduced to the crushing feeling of heart break and jealousy when he chose Holly J. over her – but he wasn't even choosing was he? Was she really so undesirable that she wasn't even an option?
…
When she returned to school, she wasn't surprised that Alli had abandoned her for Jenna.
Then just as her and Alli began to become close again, Alli left. She left Clare at Degrassi to fend for herself against Jenna, to have no one to talk to about boys or parents or the stupid 500 word essay that Coach Armstrong assigned.
Who would want to be her friend anyway?
…
Of course there were Eli and Adam. They were there for her, right?
Adam had been there, but when he started liking Fiona, they slowly grew apart… he cared more about Fiona than her.
Eli liked her. Eli would make her feel like she wasn't so undesirable after all. He made her happy, and she was sure that she was good enough for him. She had something good this time. He liked her.
Then, he rejected her.
She may not have been in the best state of mind when she asked to stay the night with him, but it still stung that he'd refused.
Undesirable.
When she found out he was hoarding, she felt a little better. It wasn't that he didn't want her; he was ashamed of his problem.
His problem that was because of his dead ex – girlfriend.
Julia.
The girlfriend who he hadn't rejected.
The girlfriend he'd made love to.
The girlfriend who he still loved.
Second Best, Second Best, Second Best.
That was all she was ever going to be, wasn't it?
Clare would always simply be the undesirable girl who people would take if number one wasn't available.
Broken, Jealous, Abandoned, and Alone.
Always the Second Best.
