Big Brother, Little Brother.

By: Montez

Disclaimer: standard. Don't own, never will

Author Note: Companion to Normal? Time period the same. Don's POV of the night.

Tricky to explain, hope you enjoy anyway.

Man it's Friday night and I'm grounded again. I mean, I'm seventeen years old, I'll graduate in a couple months, but I still get grounded, it's not fair. All because I got hauled up to Mr. Simmons office again, my butt seems to have a permanent impression in that chair in his office. Nobody seems to care that I got into that fight because Kevin James decided it was okay to mouth off and threaten my little brother. Yeah the kid can be a pain in the butt, but he's my pain in the butt and nobody is gonna mess with him. Except me of course, privilege of being the big brother.

Dad wasn't happy when he was called to school again, so here I am. Nobody realizes that if I don't look out for the kid he'd get the crap kicked out of him every other day. I have managed to intimidate most of the bullies, but a few always need to be reminded that they best not mess with the kid.

I know I'm hard on the kid. I all but ignore him at school, but come on he's thirteen years old and getting ready to graduate with me. I do get frustrated that so much comes so easy to him and I have to struggle to get the C's I get, but I love the kid. I really wouldn't trade him for anything, yeah he's scary sometimes, with what he knows. However, I look at him and still see the kid behind all those brains, he's just a kid, and I won't, as long as I can help it, let anyone mess with him.

I'm laying here missing the big party tonight, aggravated about being grounded, but I'm not really mad. I did it for him and he probably doesn't even know it.

Since he was born I've wanted to take care of him, even when mom and dad didn't tell me to, I watched out for him. I was the big brother and I wanted to show my little brother everything. At least up until he was three I could. I helped him learn to walk, he called me 'Nonnie' when he was little because he couldn't get his 'd' right for 'Donnie'. Anything I'd do, he would try and do. So much so that one time I climbed the tree out back and he followed. Mom about freaked when she saw my two year old brother, six feet up in the tree with me. I wouldn't have let him fall, I had a grip on him that I didn't release until dad climbed up the ladder and got him. I'd never let him get hurt if I could help it.

Things changed when he was three. That's when his 'gift' for numbers showed itself. I was doing my homework one day, he walked up and just started rattling off the answers to all my math problems. I remember mom and dad didn't know what to think, come to think of it neither did I. It was like a magic trick to me, give him a number and he'd give you an answer. Soon there was less and less time for us to play together. He was always being tested and special teachers came in to teach him new stuff. He took it all in. It was scary to watch, he never seemed to get tripped up, no matter how hard it was.

Of course things I wanted to do got put aside, except baseball. I got to keep baseball, so I was happy. I missed that I couldn't play with or teach Charlie anything anymore. I really wanted to teach him baseball, but mom wouldn't let me, she was afraid he'd get hurt or something, and it wasn't like there was much time for that anyway.

I'll admit my attitude changed toward him when we ended up in high school together. High school was suppose to be my time and I ended up having to share it. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't felt like an idiot next to him. I guess I let my anger get in the way and I withdrew from him, but I always watched out for him wither he knew it or not.

Lately though I have noticed his attitude has changed, he's become more withdrawn himself, been 'zoning out' more. Mom and dad think we can't hear them at night, the hushed arguments, they're never loud. They have been mostly about Charlie's college prospects. He has gotten some really amazing offers. Mom thinks back east is the best bet. Dad of course isn't happy with the thought of them moving clear across the country. Me, I was able to get a baseball scholarship to a local college. It doesn't include room and board, so I will be living at home a few more years, which is okay I guess. I'd hate to see mom and Charlie go, but they would be crazy to pass up what he's being offered.

I have found myself worrying about him lately. The pressure I'm sure he's under can't be easy. Man he is only thirteen. I'm seventeen and don't know 100 what I want to do with my life, except play baseball as long as I can. It just seems everyone is trying to map out Charlie's future and he isn't getting much of a say in it. He's being thrown into an adult world and he's still just a kid. I've tried to talk to him lately, but he's even withdrawn from me. Of course if he had treated me the way I have treated him, at times, I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

I am very proud of him, though I doubt he knows it or that he'd listen. With all he has going on I'm sure he doesn't even have time for me anyway. I just wish he would let me in just a little. I never could or will be able to understand his numbers, but I'd like to understand my brother again.

I get up and decide to go see how he is, he seemed a bit down at dinner and he didn't eat much. Mom and dad's voices have quieted, maybe they've gone to bed. I step out into the hall, the floor creaked. I hate that, it makes it hard to sneak out. I walk up to his door and knock softly.

"Charlie?"

I push the door open some to see if he is asleep yet.

"Charlie?"

He's on the floor next to his bed. His face has got tears on it, that worries me. Did someone hurt him and I didn't know about it. As I step into the room the light from the hall catches on something on the floor in front of him. I feel my heart start to race as my mind tries to rationalize what I think I'm seeing. It's the pill bottle from the bathroom, the one with mom's medicine she takes when she can't sleep.

"CHARLIE……WHAT?" I hear my own voice raise as comprehension dawns, "OH GOD!"

He didn't, dear God tell me he didn't, that my baby brother hasn't taken those pills, but I can tell by looking at his face, the glassy look in his eyes, the listing of his body to one side.

"MOM….DAD….CALL 911!!!" I grabbed my baby brother in my arms. I won't loose him, I won't let him go. I feel tears in my eyes as I realize what he has just done. I can't, I don't understand why. I carry him into the hallway, holding him close. "God Charlie…why?" I whisper.

I see mom come running out of her room, "DONNIE WHAT?" she looks wide-eyed for just a second at the near limp form of my baby brother, her baby boy in my arms, "ALAN!!!" She screams for my father as I drop to my knees in the hall, she falls beside me. I barely notice dad as he runs back into the room for the phone. I will not let him go, I will not loose him. Mom is crying, I'm crying, dad is somewhere in the background calling for help.

Then I hear it, a quiet whisper. I look into Charlie's face and see his eyes barely open. What I hear sends chills to my soul, "Love you", he mumbles and I feel him go limp, "NO NO NO!!!" I yell out but he doesn't hear.