Coming Home
1
Kurt took a deep shaky breath as he pulled his expensive white Dior cardigan around his slim frame. He couldn't believe he was back down these halls, after swearing he'd never step foot in McKinley high again, it felt more then weird actually being there. He stared at the lockers that he had constantly been pushed again, and he missed the safe feeling he felt at Dalton. He sucked on his bottom lip wondering why he was doing this. He had everything he had been searching a long time for, protection, a place where he could be himself, friends, a boyfriend. He smiled thinking about Blaine. Pictures of his boyfriend flooded through his mind and he felt the butterflies float around in his stomach like they had the first time he'd met him. The mantra Blaine had given him was heard in his mind and he tugged a smile at his lips. "Courage." he whispered to himself.
"Hey Kurt." Kurt turned around to see his Spanish and Glee teacher smiling at him, that classic boy band grin looking as though it was hurting the older man's cheek. "It's good to see you here again." Kurt smiled back at him easily. "If you need anything, you know where my office is."
"Thank you." Kurt whispered. Though Dave was still at the school, and still tormented by his own dark secret, Kurt knew being back didn't mean the bullying was going to stop. Dave had issues, and as long as he saw Kurt, he was going to be a constant reminder of the inner turmoil the jock was feeling. Kurt almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
"So, you've been standing in the same spot for a few minutes." Will commented, he had seen him through the window of Emma's office.
"I'm just thinking about how weird this all is." Kurt admitted, his hands absent mindedly playing with the strap of his leather messenger back. "It's so different from Dalton."
"Dalton was different to here, you adapted there. I'm sure you can fit back in here. We've all missed you in, Glee."
"I missed you guys too. Even you." Kurt grinned at him.
"May I ask what brought you back here? I thought you liked it there, with Blaine." Kurt blushed as his teacher said his boyfriends name. It was a strange feeling, talking to his teacher about his boyfriend. It was one of those surreal moments that he never thought would happen. He never thought he'd have a boyfriend whilst he was still in high school, it had always been one of his wishes he figured were never going to come true, no matter how hard or how much he wished for it.
"I did." Kurt sighed. "I just... I missed everything here." Kurt sucked on his bottom lip as he tried to think of how to say it. "It was like living in a bubble. It was great the first three months, it was nice to be somewhere and be me, I didn't have to hide how fabulous I was." Kurt chuckled nervously, causing Will to beam at him. "But then...I don't want to say it got boring, it just lacked the excitement I need."
"McKinley has never lacked that." Will smiled.
"And lets face it, Mr Shue, how am I supposed to sing that heart breaking number, that will get every member of the audience off their feet, clapping and in tears, if my life was simply a breeze in school?"
"You're right." Will said, placing a hand on his shoulder softly. Kurt looked at the hand and instantly the fears that were swimming in his mind seemed to disappear. "But that still hasn't changed the fact that you haven't moved."
"I know." Kurt sighed. "I'm just..."
"It's okay to be scared, you've been through a lot here. No one's going to judge you for being scared on your first day back, Kurt."
"Finn said the hazing has died down a little, now that the football team have had a glimpse into what Glee is." Kurt said, changing the subject slightly.
Will nodded his head softly, "I'm not going to pretend that the tormenting has stopped completely, but it's not as bad, no." Kurt nodded looking down. "Would you like me to walk with you?"
"I...Would you mind?" Kurt whispered, he hated that he couldn't do this by himself. He was a Hummell he should be able to walk down the school hallway with his head held high.
"Of course." Will smiled. "Baby steps, Kurt. That's all it takes, baby steps."
-x-
"I'm so glad you're back, white boy." Mercedes grinned, pulling Kurt into her arms and hugging him tightly. "And if anyone gives you a hard time, you know we all have your back."
"Yeah Kurt, the only ones that's going to push you around, around here is going to be me." Noah grinned.
"Why, as sweet as ever, Noah." Kurt smiled, rolling his eyes. "I'm just glad you're all so willing to have me back, especially after I abandoned you."
"Kurt." Quinn said softly, placing a manicured hand on the smaller boys knee. "You didn't abandon anyone. We let you down, we should have been there for you." Kurt went to protest but Rachel cut in.
"You're are friend, and we're glad you're back. None of us can change what happened, and as much as we all wished we could, it would be pointless going down the road of 'what if' now, if you don't mind I have prepared a song for this very occasion."
"Wouldn't have expected anything less." Kurt says, smiling fondly at the brunette who's already found her way to the centre of the stage.
Kurt wasn't too sure what the song that Rachel was singing, but he'd heard Brittany make a noise of approval and started to sing along quietly. Once the chorus kicked in all of the group except for Kurt started to sing, it made him think if maybe they had practised this. The thought made him smile, of course they had, it's just something they would do.
"This is our song, that's all that matters
'Cause we all belong, right here together
There's nothing better then singing along,
This is our Summer, This is our song"
Once the song was finished the group started to cheer, and Kurt wasn't surprised to find that he had tears falling down his cheeks. It felt so good to finally be home. Kurt stood up and pulled Rachel into his arms, taking the Jewish girl by surprise. "Thank you." he whispered in her ear, she smiled and patted his back softly.
Glee finished an hour later and everyone rushed off, it seemed they all had their own lives to live now, the weekly hang out sessions after seemed to have stopped. Kurt felt a little disappointed, he'd wanted to do something after school, celebrate his first day back and only getting pushed into the lockers once, and that was only by a student who was late for class. Hell, she'd even turned back and shouted out a rushed apology.
"How was your first day?" Will asked, looking over at Kurt who was packing his things away.
"It was...It was okay." Kurt smiled. "Nothing terrible happened."
"You mean it?" Will asked watching him closely.
"I mean it. I didn't even see him." Him being his number one tormentor. "And I don't have this childish fantasy in my head about us having a moment in the hallway, where he'd nod at me, and that would be his apology, and I'd nod back and everything will be okay. I realise that me being here, is going to make him...it's going to bug him."
"Why is it going to bug him?" Will frowned, he knew there was something that Kurt had been holding back, and he wanted to know.
"It's not important," Kurt sighed. "I've missed a lot of Spanish here, and we have an exam soon, do you maybe think I could get some notes?"
"How about I tutor you personally?" Will smiled. "Emma suggested that maybe we should have weekly meetings anyway, to you know make sure you're okay with being back."
Kurt wanted to argue, how was he supposed to adjust to being back when everyone was waiting for him to crash and burn. "That sounds like a good idea, thank you." Kurt smiled at him. "Now, I have to go, seems me being back has made Finn lose the ability to drive himself home." With one last smile, Kurt walked out of the auditorium and to his car, where his step brother was indeed waiting for him.
-x-
"So you're sure your first day was really okay?" Kurt smiled as the voice of his boyfriend made his stomach a cage of butterflies.
"It was fine, Blaine. Honestly, nothing happened, well... Nothing that was out of the ordinary. The only thing that's really changed is that the Glee club have learned how to function without me there." Kurt sighed, sadness in his tone.
"What do you mean?"
"It just...I know I'm selfish in thinking this, but before I left, we were like a big expensive knitted sweater, now it just feels like a sweater vest and the sleeves have fallen off and gone to make some scarves."
"Kurt...They may have moved on, but they haven't moved away." Blaine said, smiling softly at his boyfriends description. Only Kurt could put his deep thoughts into a simile about fashion.
"I'm over exaggerating aren't I?" Kurt sighed, rolling over and hugging his cushion to his chest.
"Just a little. It was weird without you here. I missed you."
"I know, I missed you too. But...You understand why I have to do this, right, Blaine?"
"I do." Blaine sighed. "I just wish you could be at two places at once."
"Now wouldn't that be fabulous." Kurt giggled. "Could you imagine the trouble I'd get myself into?"
"I can," Blaine laughed. "Now, I have to go. Warblers meeting."
"Okay, text you later." Kurt smiled.
"You better, and Kurt...I'm proud of you." Blaine ended the call before his boyfriend could ask him questions, or comment on what he said.
Kurt blushed, biting his lip and holding the pillow tighter. Blaine really did make his heart beat faster. He curled up on his bed, glad that he'd changed from his expensive designer jeans, to his casual (yet equally as expensive) pants. Deciding that laying on his bed, day dreaming about the boy of his dreams wasn't going to get the homework and catch up work that had piled it's way into his bag, done. He pulled out his Spanish folder and sighed, he'd done French at Dalton and even though he'd done both at McKinley it seemed all the Spanish he'd learned had left him. He'd work through the homework assignments when he had his first tutoring session with Mr Shue. He couldn't believe how lucky he was that his teacher was kind enough to help him, and offer weekly meetings just to make sure he was okay. It was a small thing, one that Mr Shue probably hadn't thought twice of, but it meant a lot to Kurt.
After an hour and a half of studying, and then shamelessly sickeningly sweet texts to Blaine, Kurt felt himself falling asleep and he just hoped that his next day at school would be as good as his first.
