The title is lyrics from the OneRepublic song, I Lived, which I guess is sort of weirdly ironic, considering that this story is about Newt. So thanks for taking a look at this, I appreciate it!

(All the characters, sadly, belong to James Dashner.)

Newt scuffed his shoe on the ground and sighed, leaning against the interior wall of the Homestead. Through the dim light and his half-lidded eyes, he could see groups of Gladersfinish Frypan's breakfast of pancakes and haphazardly stack their plates. Next to Newt stood Minho, his arms crossed and face lit up with his typical smirk, and Alby, who glanced over at Newt, eyebrows knitted with concern.

"You okay, Newt? You don't look too good."

"I'm bloody fine," he mumbled, forcing a small, crooked smile that he was sure Alby could see right through.

Looking distractedly troubled, Alby frowned at Newt, and turned to answer the question of a boy who'd just wandered up to him.

Newt took the distraction as an opportunity, and, desperately not wanting to be interrogated by Alby, he nudged Minho and muttered, "Can we go now?"

Minho nodded and called, "Hey, let's go Runners, ya lazy shanks!"

Rolling his eyes, Newt hastily whisked out of the room, accompanied by a crowd of enthusiastic Runners. After a quick word with Alby, Minho followed at a distance. Newt pretended to listen as the boy next to him vivaciously recounted a story, but his head churned with dismal thoughts and bleak plans. The Glade is hopeless, a prison of desperation and defeat. The feelings caged Newt again, drowning him in desolation and self-pity until he felt like he couldn't breathe. Taking in a shuddering breath, Newt knew what to do, how to end the pain.

As he fingered the hem of his tattered shirt, Newt dropped back to talk with Minho, giving himself one more chance.

"Minho, can I talk to you about something? Something important?"

Minho started to answer, but the resounding creak of the opening Maze made his answer inaudible.

Minho, who looked exhausted and preoccupied, barely glanced at Newt before repeating, "I'm really sorry, Newt, but today it's really important that we get out into the Maze. Tomorrow is the last day of the month, and everyone will be busy with the new Greenbean and sorting out all the supplies and stuff. Can it wait?" He finished, scarcely waiting to see if Newt responded.

"Not really" Newt whispered to himself, getting positioned in front of his section of the Maze.

And then he took off running, clouds of dirt springing up behind his pattering footsteps. Turn left,

right, go straight, left. And once again, the misery swallowed him whole. He couldn't take it

anymore. Snippets of conversations and fragments of images whirled through his mind. Newt

coiled thick vines of ivy around his hands and heaved himself up the seemingly unscalable wall,

inch by inch, choking back sobs. When he reached a crevice about halfway up the wall, Newt

stopped, his hands aching.

His friends gathered in his mind, words of encouragement spilling from their mouths. A determined Alby flashed in his mind, saying, "We can make it out, I know we can." And Minho, hair matted with dirt and rivulets of sweat trickling down his face, murmuring, "If we stay strong, we can find a way out of this shuck place."

Newt calmly unwound the ivy from his hands. He didn't believe his friends. There was no escape from this dreadful place, no end to his pain.

He didn't believe them.

So he jumped.

Thanks so much for reading! I would love critiques if you have the time. And I'm sorry that Minho acts like that.

Sooo... Should I continue?