Disclaimer : I disclaim everything. From Naruto's sleeping cap to Chouji's donuts, even Kakashi's Icha Icha books. And how do I feel about that? Crap.
Author's Note : This is my first attempt of SasuNaru one-shot. Basically, this is the first Yaoi fic I've ever written, after almost six months being a regular reader of ffnet, I finally have the courage to write one myself! I'm not sure if I'm good at it, but I hope you will enjoy it.
Paper Plane
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Every time I saw you, my heart ached.
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Three years.
It had been three years, had it? Three years, two months, and ten days, to be exact. Sasuke had no idea when was this bizarre relationship began, or should he say, he wasn't sure how did it all became so. Perhaps, it was fate – as Neji always mentioned in his emo mood -, or just another wicked plan the God composed. And yet, he certainly didn't mind it. In fact, he was loving it.
Had it been one big mistake? Or just a flick of idleness he pulled on to fill his spare times? Or, as Sasuke estimated, was an addiction he had came too intoxicated, that he was hopeless to refuse? Most likely. And how did he let this tribulation of catastrophe crashed upon him, was the main question here. He couldn't remember it well, though. It had been so long, and many accidental occurrences happened, that the memories were vague in his mind.
"Mmmhh…"
His attention was sharply turned to the source of sound—a rather huge bundle covered by blanket resided beside him. The sheet twisted as it moved leisurely, Sasuke could feel it straightening below him, and slowly, ever so slowly, strands of hair poked out randomly from its hideaway, painted in color that resembled closely to sunshine. Having known that the person beside him was waking, Sasuke did nothing but observing soundlessly, with blank dark eyes, he waited.
Then the dark-colored blanket was lowered down, revealing a pair of beautiful, mesmerizing bright azure eyes from behind those half-closed, half-awaked lids, staring drowsily at the raven haired boy.
"Sasuke? W-" a yawn "-why aren't you asleep?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes.
The man in question remained silent for a grand total of three seconds, before he answered with a brief, "Nothing." and soon followed by, "Just couldn't sleep, that's all."
It wasn't a lie, but not exactly the entire truth either. Sasuke was awaked in the midnight, and hadn't been able to sleep since then, not with those thoughts suddenly crossed his mind. It wasn't a lie. It was a white lie.
"Oh." The blonde muttered, two lids fluttered in a fluid motion of closing and opening.
Sasuke sighed contently, leaning a pale hand graced with slender fingers to pat the unruly bundle of sunshine, pushing him backwards to the pillow, his face smoothened. "Sleep, Naruto, we have class tomorrow."
The blonde pouted mouthful force, but a simple smile formed on his lips at the same time. "Alright, dad. I'll sleep now." He muttered teasingly, laughing softly. Before he closed his eyes and embraced the land of dreams, however, Naruto moved closer to Sasuke's barely covered body, seeking warmth. While the raven haired man, tensed in a slightest way, almost seemed he didn't move at all, but in fact, he really did.
"Guess I'll be limping tomorrow." Naruto whispered against the raven's throat, right below his chin, closing his eyes. "You were rough." He added.
Sasuke said nothing, and the blond drawn back to deep slumber. Watching painstakingly as Naruto's chest heaved up and down in steady rhythm, faced filled with serene. The blonde had one of his lean hands laid across Sasuke's bare chest, snuggling to him comfortably. With a heavy sigh, the Uchiha wriggled out of the tight grip, and brought his body to sit, running a pallid hand across the long dark bangs.
They were not lovers.
They were – to be truthful – never romantically involved. Only sexually. They were, what people these days called, 'friends with benefits' or 'fucking buddies', and that was it. To be honest, they were friends, best friends even, but it all changed three years ago, when this madness began, when all of this innocent friendship became a serial of uncontrollable escapade, and now, they couldn't stop.
But then again, they are still friends to this day. But different than before.
Oh, if only. If only that was all Sasuke ever thought of their relationship that way—just as sex partners, then things will be much easier, everything will be fine as long as he didn't care, and remained that way, becoming a complete ignorant often made things better, easier. And yet, ironically, Sasuke did care. He cared so goddamn much, it hurts sometimes. How had things came in this way? He didn't know when exactly he had started to notice how those brilliant azure blue eyes seemed bluer and more beautiful every time he saw them, how Naruto's body was framed with shapely curves and stern muscles that spasm every time he stretched his arms and shoulder, how beautiful he looked when he moved, smile, and laugh… how the perfect curve of his dusky red petals that formed the ever omnipresent grin seemed inviting and just… alluring him.
Sasuke had wanted Naruto. Had always wanted him.
Sasuke stumbled off the bed, he bent down his body to pick up his randomly thrown boxer from the floorboard, and slid it back to his hips – and proceeded heading to the bathroom. In the shower cubicle, he peeled off his black boxer, and threw it to the laundry basket under the sink counter, then turned the tap open. He let the droplets of warm water poured down to his lean, pale body, dampening the dark locks wetly, and he shut his eyes.
They had been friends, once. They had a normal friendship like everybody else does; they were childhood friends since the early age of seven, best friends that even close to brotherhood. They played together, pulled many kinds of prank, built sandcastles at the beach, buried their time capsules together, they were just kids back then, and happy. Everything was fine until Sasuke turned thirteen, when he finally reached the age of puberty, he had experienced the oddest occurrence in his short life, after he awaked one early morning with thick mass of sweat covered his trembling body, soaking his dark blue pajamas and messy hair, because in the dream he had the night before, consisted a naked, helpless blonde, writhing and twisting underneath his own barely clothed body, as he did the most unthinkable things to the blonde, over and over again. He even more terrified as the reality abruptly crashed down to him later that… that the blonde in his dream was not a female. And he knew so fucking well who he had dreamt of.
Since then, things changed.
The sky was different, the sun, the scenery, the whole world changed before his eyes. The glorious bright azure sky never been so clear, reminding him every time he cast his eyes up, of a certain pair of same-colored eye. The sun – how the previously annoying ray of sun became the first thing he wanted to see every morning he awaked, gently nudging his heavy eyelids to awareness with golden flashes that resembled his sunshine-colored strands. The world became brighter, more beautiful, livelier, the world where he lived in, where the two of them could always be together, as friends or not, was the only world Sasuke had ever wished to exist. And with those unequivocal evidences, Sasuke had fully realized that he… was in love with his best friend.
He was madly in love with Naruto Uzumaki.
Sasuke chuckled softly as the warm fluid drawn trails of rivulet streamed down his porcelain-like skin, while small size of a vortex formed near his feet, as the said fluid gathered and being sucked into a dark, depthless oblivion.
Love.
Love was the reason why. Why on that night three years ago, when Naruto came to him, when he suddenly appeared at the doorway of Sasuke's home in the midnight, with trembling wet body, a darkness Sasuke had never seen present on his face, and a shattered heart, Sasuke had took him in. Why… when Naruto was grieving from his father's – Minato's death, and sought Sasuke for comfort, crying in his arms, against his chest, embracing him tightly… had Sasuke no longer felt sorry for him, too drawn in his own egoism. And why, when Naruto was in his weakest moment, when the blonde needed just anything – anything to make him forget of his grief, of his suffering, had Sasuke done his biggest mistake.
He had taken advantage of Naruto's state.
The first time they kissed, it had been a complete bliss. It was just a simple, gentle kiss, just two pairs of lips pressed against each other, and Naruto seemed surprised at first, but slowly closed his eyes in relaxation as Sasuke pressed harder, enjoying. Before Sasuke had realized what happened, they somehow managed to reach Sasuke's room, in his King-sized bed, Naruto was on his back with flushed cheeks and legs spread wide, while the Uciha on top of him, with lips attached to his neck, collarbone, and chest, nipping and biting and sucking on the smooth flesh, leaving angry marks, both barely clothed. When he moved inside of Naruto, who kept letting out breathless moans, and little pleasured whimpers, having known that he could bring both of them falling to the edge of ecstasy, Sasuke was happy. He was happy beyond belief, so much that he might've cried that night.
It was like a dream came true.
But reality was never kind.
The next morning he awaked after the wonderful feeling of exertion and euphoria as the afterglow of his orgasm he experienced the night before, a harsh reality suddenly crashed down to him. The undeniably fact that he had took advantage of Naruto's situation – when he was grieving and couldn't think straight, that he had taken the blonde's virginity for his own selfish need, and yet… not even the slightest remorse did he felt.
He was disgusting.
Sasuke closed the tap, and stepped out of the cubicle. A furry white towel hung to his slender hips, as he stepped out of the bathroom, walking in leisure pace toward the bed, where his bed partner was sound asleep. Silently, Sasuke sat at the bedside, a pair of observing onyx eyes watched Naruto's peaceful expression.
…nothing changed much after their first time. They acted normally after Minato's funeral the next day after that night, spending their halcyon of high school years as if nothing had happened between them. Except that Naruto and Sasuke had been sexually involved since then, every night either Naruto or Sasuke would visit the other's room, and had spent countless nights in bed, and it had been carried on for more than three years, to this day.
But outside of the bed – outside of the bedroom, their personal space - they acted like complete ordinary friends. They never held hands, never kissed in public, never told a soul about their affairs; they never discussed about their relationship – nor did they ever confess the word 'love', to the other. Nothing.
It was just about sex.
Sasuke leaned a hand to push a golden strand backwards gently, eyes narrowed as a foreign emotion curling within his chest, gnawing at his heart viciously.
Did this ever mean anything to him?
--------
Every Monday and Tuesday morning at ten, Sasuke had chemistry class.
That was why every said course's days, (or should I say, pretty much everyday) he always prepared himself at least one hour before the class begins – though it only took fifteen minutes by foot to reach the campus from his dorm. To be perfectly frank, Sasuke Uchiha was a very strict perfectionist. Or, as the tweedledum and tweedledee, also known as the evil twins of mischief, namely Kankuro and Kiba accusingly entitled him, the neat freak. But Sasuke, as an arrogant, self-centered ego bastard as he was, briefly shrugged it off, with a little addition of clever (yet equivalent) mockery cast to the two, he silently waltzed away from the erupting goons.
As awkward as it was, that Monday morning, as usual, he was walking down the sidewalk with Naruto beside him - who had spent a night in his room, also in the same Chem class as Sasuke was – and they were heading to the campus café to have breakfast with the rest of their friends.
What had bewildered the Uchiha the most, was the fact that Naruto Uzumaki, who immensely loathed chemistry ever since he knew what molecule meant, and was barely passing high school with his poor collection of straight D's and F's grades for the said course, took chemistry as one of his major subject. Sasuke thought the hell had freezes over.
And there was once, Sasuke asked Naruto the reason of his almost too illogical – and almost frighteningly moronic - decision to take Chem as his major, the blonde only gave him the ever omnipresent grin of his and answered cheerfully, "I don't wanna lose to you-datte bayo!"
Sasuke didn't know whether to feel happy because he could be with Naruto more often – or he should smack the blonde's head to straighten his care-free way of thinking, or not.
Still, the first option had dominated his mind even before he thought of it.
"So, teme, I was thinking… maybe you could be my tutor?" Naruto suddenly said.
Sasuke raised a fine brow at the sudden proposition. "…and why must I do that?" He asked back.
The blonde stared at him shyly, a sheepish smile spilt his slightly shamed expression. "You know, Kakashi had been really kind warning me that I-"
"-almost failing Chem? I knew that." Sasuke said dryly. "And I know from Sakura, if you are curious of my resource." He added briefly, barely glancing at Naruto, but he knew the blonde was going to ask about it anytime soon.
"Well," The blonde muttered, grinning. "If you knew already, then it's easier to explain! Come on, teme, I know you're a ton good at it! So, will you be my tutor, Sasuke Uchiha?" He repeated the proposition; wide blue eyes gleamed in hope.
Sasuke's heart skipped.
And who was he to refuse Naruto? No. Sasuke Uchiha couldn't—wouldn't. Or, should he say, he could never refuse Naruto's requests. No matter how incredulous and ridiculous the demand was, he never succeeded to even try to refuse him. Because it was Naruto who asked, and if it was him, Sasuke Uchiha will oblige. Plus, he certainly didn't want it if Naruto looked for another person to be his tutor, Sasuke would, most definitely, be furious.
Sighing deeply, Sasuke stopped on his track, they were already in front of the main building entrance, and the café was right before their eyes, the rest of their friends had already been there, probably had saved two extra chairs for them.
"Alright." Sasuke finally mustered. "I'll be your tutor."
And there it was, as he had predicted, a bright radiant light suddenly liven up the blonde's face even further; a wide toothy grin emerged on his lips, splitting his face ear to ear, and two blue eyes slanted to slits. "Really?" He exclaimed, suddenly threw his arms around Sasuke's neck. "Thanks, Sasuke! You're the best!" He crowed aloud, enough for the whole throng of students who were passing nearby to hear.
Sasuke could only muster an appeasing smile, biting back a bitter laugh, while his heart rate was racing from beneath the thick layers of flesh within his chest, and blood veins pulsating and throbbing frantically. Sasuke hoped Naruto wouldn't notice.
Naruto grinned to him more, before he let go and swirled on his heels, and began running toward his friends, waving his upraised hands at Sasuke as he occasionally stopped to wait for him.
And Sasuke, as usual, obliged.
'Why, Naruto?' Sasuke mused as he dragged his feet along the walkway, his canines protruding his lower lip, biting back the unrevealed question. 'Why do you keep giving me false hopes? Why do you keep hurting me?'
Tilting his chin up, Sasuke saw the radiant smile the boy he loved gave him. And his heart ached.
'What am I to you?'
---------
The next Saturday, the group went to arcade. TenTen and Ino were having a heated dance challenge at DDR machine, the evil twins namely Kankuro and Kiba were throwing the basketballs to its sort-of-old hoops, Gaara played a first person shooter game and was having a helluva good time massacring the zombies, Temari and Hinata were playing racing car, the rest were busy too.
However, one Sasuke Uchiha didn't spare a brief attention to them; as he was too busy with his own business; searching for the suddenly-missing blonde, a flicker worry escalating in his heart.
Then, his depthless onyx eyes caught a glimpse of golden hair, when he was just about to catcall at him, the words stuck in his throat, as a sudden subconscious halt detained the entirety of his body movement.
Naruto was with someone else – Sakura.
All seemed to turn to a slow motion. There Sasuke was, stood wordlessly with immobile limbs, and a weak heart that kept thumping loudly in his ears, seemed ready to burst anytime, eying at them with blank dark eyes from afar. And there Naruto was, talking and laughing with Sakura – who giggled and talked back to him - with the intensity of a content smile that had brightened his face further more, a smile Sasuke had never seen before present – beside the ones he gave Sasuke right after their orgasms, and now, he was giving it to Sakura, unconditionally.
Sasuke saw red.
After a moment that seemed like an eternity for Sasuke, they parted. Naruto waved his hand at Sakura, who waved back, then he walked toward the frozen limbs of an Uchiha, smiling radiantly.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting." He said. But when he received a silent treatment from the older boy, he furrowed his eyebrows in befuddlement. "Sasuke? What's wrong? You look pale…" He muttered worriedly, upraising his palm to caress the porcelain-like cheek.
Sasuke quickly shrugged the hand, for the first time he refused Naruto's touch, and this seemed to surprise the blonde quite a bit. "Nothing." He lied as he averted his eyes.
"But teme, you don't look so well, are you sure you're not sick?" Naruto asked again.
"I said I'm fine." Sasuke shrugged, the words escaped hastily. "What… what were you two talking about?" he questioned, a foreign, piercing emotion spinning in his chest.
"Oh, me and Sakura? Nothing important, really, we're just… talking." Naruto laughed, the voice stabbing at Sasuke's flesh even deeper. "You know, Kakashi's birthday is coming, so me and Sakura planned to throw a frat birthday party next weekend, so we've been talking a lot about it, and…" he trailed off.
"What?" Sasuke hissed impatiently.
"Um, I know tomorrow you're going to tutor me, but… I have an appointment tomorrow, an urgent one, I mean, so… could we delay?" he asked, staring intently at Sasuke's stern face, with those round brilliant blue eyes, almost pleading.
An appointment that was more important than being with Sasuke.
'And why do you think I would grant you the permission?' His mind spat resentfully. 'Do you honestly think I would let you go? Do you think that I would let you go to someplace I don't know, with someone I fucking don't know!?' Sasuke wanted to tell him not to go, to stay with him, only him, because he loved Naruto, because he didn't want him to go anywhere, with anyone else who wasn't him, tell Naruto to just - stay. But Sasuke Uchiha, being a prideful man he was, and a man who was incapable of refusing Naruto, only nodded wordlessly, while his mind hoarsely screamed words of refusal.
"Thanks." Naruto muttered in gratitude. "I know I could always count on you, teme."
Sasuke only smiled.
--------
The next Sunday, Sasuke and the rest of the group was eating breakfast at the café.
"Sasuke, ya know where's Naruto? Haven't seen him since morning." Kiba asked while stuffing his mouth with toasts.
Sasuke shrugged his shoulders.
"I've seen him." Ino interrupted, chewing on her fruit salad. "He's with Sakura, I saw them left the dorm at nine in the morning, don't know where they'd gone off to, though."
For some reason, Sasuke didn't surprised.
--------
Three years.
Three long years of desperation for Naruto's love, his body, his mind, his soul. Although Sasuke had claimed that lithe body as his for countless of times, he still hadn't got what had been his most desired thing in this mortal world – Naruto's love.
Sasuke grunted softly as he increased the pace of his working hand, fisting at himself, imagining a certain blonde's hand was the one doing it to him instead of his own. Biting back a moan, he shuddered.
How had things became like this?
He knew he had loved the small blonde far before he had his first wet dream, far beyond that. Naruto was his first love, his most precious person, his only true friend, his only eternal love. From a mere innocent puppy love had turned to a silly crush morphed to a maddening love, which had subconsciously brought Sasuke's mind closer and closer to the edge of insanity.
The Uchiha's breathing hitched, and he screwed his eyes shut, feeling so close to his release, his mouth kept letting out ragged grunts, his face fully flushed as he fisted himself faster and harder.
Their first time had been an utter bliss for Sasuke, the first time he finally able to claim Naruto as his, he had cried from the soaring happiness he felt overflowing his heart, filling him. But alas, he could only claim his body, never his heart.
Naruto didn't love him.
"Naruto." Sasuke choked out, biting back a sob. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto."
It was only for sex. Naruto repeatedly came to him for comfort, to forget all of his troubles, his suffering, like drugs or alcohol, sex was the only safe way to gain that. Even though Sasuke knew that, he always welcomed Naruto with open arms, allowing himself to pleasure the blonde and help him forget. He was young, he was foolish back then, he kept telling himself that even if he couldn't have his heart, as long as he owned Naruto's body, then it was enough.
And it had been his biggest mistake.
Every night they melted into one, every touches, every kisses, every gentle smiles Naruto gave him after they reached their orgasms, made Sasuke's heart ached and trembled with love. His feelings for Naruto rapidly escalating in size as time went by, deeper and deeper, until it reached the point of madness, when he could not live in a world where Naruto didn't exist. Sasuke loved Naruto's smiles, his azure eyes, his lips, his adorable thin scars, how he moved, when he eats, how his eyes slanted to slits when he laughed, his childish demeanor, his beautiful, beautiful voice… nothing in Naruto that didn't seem lovable to him.
White flashes suddenly appeared before his lids, and Sasuke cried hoarsely, coming quickly and hard, spraying to the sheets beneath him and between his legs and thighs. Sasuke collapsed on his back as he panted heavily, eyes blankly stared the dark ceiling.
…and there was Sakura. Naruto's first crush was with the bright pink haired girl in middle school, Sasuke never paid attention to the girl because he hated her back then for stealing Naruto's attention – though the girl only cast her heart toward Sasuke, who briefly refused. They'd gone in the same high school, and same college, Sakura had overcame her crush on Sasuke and started dating few guys, while Naruto—Sasuke didn't know if the blonde still held romantic feelings toward Sakura or not, but since he was involved with Sasuke, the Uchiha didn't push the matter any further. But the way Naruto laughed with her yesterday, the way Sakura responded him, made it all clear.
Naruto still liked her.
Then Sasuke began laughing. Bitterness clearly hinted in his voice.
It would've been better with her anyway. Sakura was a female, she was a clever, kind, and – even though it was odd for him to say this – a pretty girl, she was one of the strongest women Sasuke ever met. With her, Naruto would be happier, Sakura could conceive, unlike Sasuke. In ten years or so, they would be married, and have some kids, happy and content. And Sasuke would be left alone.
Alone…in this mortal world where he couldn't reach Naruto anymore.
A tear slipped down his porcelain-colored cheek as Sasuke closed them.
This had to stop.
---------
The next day, Sasuke called Naruto to talk.
"What?" The blonde uttered in disbelief at the statement Sasuke cast to him.
Sasuke mouthed the sentence again, and those round azure eyes seemed growing ten times wider.
"W-what do you mean…?" Naruto laughed nervously. "You're joking, right, Sasuke? Right?"
Sasuke remained serene, as he wordlessly nodded. And Naruto – wasn't exactly doing the reaction Sasuke had expected – slumped down the brick wall pressed against his back with wide eyes and bowed head, his lips were moving, but no sound escaped from it.
Then Sasuke swirled on his heels, and began walking away casually, shutting his eyes.
'Don't come again.' Seemed fairly unreal to him.
---------
The next couple of days, Naruto had been banging at Sasuke's door, demanding him to come out and explain to him the reason of his one-sided decision.
"Sasuke, opened up!!! Get your fucking ass out!! Explain yourself, Sasuke! Sasuke!!" Naruto had screamed that countless of times everyday, morning and evening, demanding.
But it only fell to the deaf ears of the Uchiha's, who had been restraining himself not to open that door and see the boy he loved, the boy he was incapable to talk with since then, all because of the deep desperation he felt. If he opened the door and meet with Naruto, he was sure that he couldn't keep himself from embracing the boy again, kissing him, craving him.
Sasuke cried.
----------
A week passed since then, and Naruto had no longer banging at his door twice a day, and he had been avoiding the blonde at all cost. Every time their friends asked what was going on between them, Sasuke just shrugged noncommittally. He thought Naruto had already given in, and was relieved, but hurting in the same time.
That was why, one night, when Sasuke entered his single after a long late class, exhausted, and when Sasuke pressed the switch, and the whole room suddenly brightened, he was put on a complete halt the moment his eyes dropped to an unwanted guest's presence, a guest with golden blond hair and a pair of deep azure eye.
"Welcome home, teme." The blonde said as he lifted his body up from the leather sofa, his eyes transfixed at Sasuke's.
Sasuke had flinched, had gasped, had nearly stumbled on his feet, but somehow managed to pull himself together. "N-Naruto? Why do you – How - ?" Sasuke glanced at the blonde, and the closed front door. How did he manage to get in?
"Yes, me." Naruto muttered, he had these strange, yet downcast gleams in his azure eyes. And Sasuke took a sharp intake at the scarce sight. "Shikamaru helped me stole the duplicate key from Ibiki, that lazy guy sure got the brain. And he's too lazy to eat noodle with chopsticks, funny, huh?" Naruto smiled at him, slowly walking closer to the frozen Uchiha.
Sasuke said nothing.
He said nothing as Naruto led him to the leather sofa, pushing him down gently. And when Naruto stared down to him with his brilliant blue eyes Sasuke loved so much, all words seemed lost into the deep oblivion of those depths. "Sasuke." Naruto whispered, straddling Sasuke's shoulder blades firmly as he stood in front of him.
"Sasuke, I'm not mad at you." He started gently. Sasuke could feel Naruto's hands were trembling against the fabric. "I just – just wanna know what the hell was going on, that you – we couldn't visit each other again. Explain to me, okay?" Naruto said, forcing a smile.
'No.' Sasuke mused as he saw that weak smile. No, no, no, no. This wasn't what he wanted to see present on Naruto's face, he wanted to see the care-free omnipresent grin Naruto always put on, the happy smile and merry laugh – not this.
"No." Sasuke choked out, looking away. "Nothing is wrong, Naruto."
"Don't lie to me, Sasuke. I know you're lying." Naruto spat shakily, clutching tightly at Sasuke's shirt, burying his face to Sasuke's shoulder blade. "If nothing is wrong then why were you suddenly… suddenly told me that we – we are over, without telling me the reason why, just like that!?" He suddenly spat angrily and shot up, glaring at him.
"Then what must I do then!? Continue this madness any further!? Look at me, Naruto! And look at you! We're both males, and we're friends, we're not supposed to do such thing! We weren't even supposed to let this happened between us three years ago, it was a mistake!! A fucking huge-ass mistake!!" Sasuke fiercely spat back, anger and hurt filling his face, as he bowed down, hiding his despair.
'It was a mistake, it was a mistake. You don't love me, and yet I used you, because of my selfishness. You don't love me, and it hurt. It hurt so goddamn much. You will be much happier with her, with Sakura, or any other girls. Be with someone you love.' Sasuke dimly mused, choking back tears, Naruto had to be happy, with someone he truly loved, not him – a false friend who had only wanted him for his foul obsession, even if it will crush him, as long as Naruto happy…
"Mistake…?" Sasuke's ears suddenly caught Naruto's voice filled with disappointment, then Sasuke tilted his chin up, onyx eyes grew wide instantaneously as he saw Naruto was – was crying.
"Was I a mistake then, Sasuke?" Naruto hiccupped slightly, wiping the warm transparent droplets from his wet eyes with the back of his hand furiously. Sasuke was dumbfounded. "Am I a burden to you? Because I'm an idiot who can't do anything right, and always ended up counting on you all the time? A bothersome goon who couldn't even get his best friend to like him anymore? I-is that why…" More and more warm droplets flowed from those beautiful azure orbs, and it streamed down, creating small rivulets down his scarred cheeks.
"…is that why you leave me? Because you hate me?" Naruto sobbed hoarsely
Something snapped inside Sasuke's mind when he heard the latter statement was being said. "Hate you?" he repeated in disbelief. He, Sasuke Uchiha, hate Naruto Uzumaki, the boy he had loved – has been in love with for almost his entire life? Whose mere presence was able to make his heart pulsating violently within his chest, whose smile could dismiss every worry he held in his mind, whose innocent love Sasuke didn't even have the slightest courage to try reaching?
"Never." He choked out suddenly, eyes gleamed dangerously at Naruto, who, flinched away at the sight, but Sasuke suddenly grabbed his elbows, and hurled him back to him, shoving him down to the sofa on his back, ignoring the startled whimpers. "Never said that." He hissed dangerously at him, and Naruto choked back a cry.
"You never knew how much – how much you mean to me." He mouthed slowly as he met with slightly frightened blue eyes. "Don't talk like you actually know anything! You don't know how much I feel like shit after I'd taken advantage of you that night three years ago, and didn't even feel any remorse! How you've made me want you – wanting you so much, but knew I was hopeless, that I could never have your heart, your love, not only your body. Every single night I woke up to check whether you still there - with me – afraid and daunting the morning of you became tired of me, and look for another, leaving me, alone and heart broken. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me every time those thoughts crossed my head?" Sasuke's voice cracked, he lowered his face to drown it to Naruto's clothed chest, his own heart clenching in painfully.
"You're driving me insane. Insane and desperate for your love, after we had sex you always smiled at me, you always been gentle, you made me harbored some hopes that maybe I – I have a chance to have you, entirely. And – and yet, when I saw you, laughing and smiling to Sakura, I know I had lost all hope. I know you still liked her, and I – I am more than willing to back off."
And Naruto's limbs suddenly gave away, as he stared at the raven over him, still drowning his face in his chest, hiding like a little child. "Sakura?" he muttered bewilderedly. "I don't understand, Sasuke… what's this got to do with her?" Sasuke's head shot up.
"W-what…?" He stammered incoherently. "But I thought you and Sakura—because in the arcade last Saturday you were laughing so happily with her, and the next day, you went out on a date…"
"A date?" Naruto tilted his head confusedly. "No, it wasn't a date. I told you; Sakura and I planned to throw a party for Kakashi's birthday, we went for shopping… Sakura needed my advice to choose a suitable present for him, that's all." He uttered truthfully, Sasuke found no evidence of lies in his voice.
"Oh." He choked out, as he lifted his body, releasing Naruto's own. "Oh." His porcelain-painted face suddenly tinted red with shame at his own missed prejudice. When he was about to stood and left the scene to cool down, a hand suddenly gripped at his sleeve, detaining him.
"Sasuke." Naruto throatily called. "Wait, you bastard. We aren't finished yet."
Sasuke glanced back at him, eyes gleamed nervously. "Naruto, I… Look, just – just forget all I've said, okay? I'm sorry that I misunderstood the situation, but – dammit, Naruto, just let me cool down first." He muttered frustratedly, covering his reddened cheek with a pale palm.
"No, I won't let you." The blonde stubbornly demanded, Sasuke had no choice but to give in.
"You… what you said before, was that true, Sasuke?" Naruto straightforwardly asked, watching with amusement as Sasuke's already flushed face, reddened more to his ears. "I – " He stuttered, averting Naruto's intense eyes, before he gave a brief nod.
Naruto grinned. "Then, do you love me, Sasuke?" He asked again, and Sasuke found himself, once again, put on a complete halt and limbs went stiff.
"Naruto, I—"
"Answer me." The blonde cut him, demanding.
Why? Why had Naruto asked him this? It wasn't like Sasuke would force Naruto to love him, and have him being hated in exchange, it would've been one hell to live if Naruto ever said that he hated Sasuke, that he would leave Sasuke alone. Sasuke would gladly withdraw if Naruto asked him to, anything, but to be hated, to be left alone… Sasuke much rather chose death.
"Yes." Sasuke finally confessed, sighing deeply. "I love you, Naruto, almost all my life I have been in love with you. You don't have to love me back, just – just let me be your friend, be with you all the time, I will never touch you again if you don't want me to, and that's enough. That's enough for me, so…"
Then he heard a soft laugh. Naruto's laugh. The beautiful sound of happy laughter escaped from those thin dusky rose lips Sasuke fond of, flowing out freely and smoothly like a steady flow of river.
"Sasuke, for a prodigy, you sure aren't as bright as I thought." Naruto said, choking back a laugh. With a bright smile he approached Sasuke, and wrapped his arms loosely around the slender hips.
"And you think that I didn't feel anything about our abnormal relationship? Do you really think I would give my virginity to just anyone? Handing my body to him every night? No, Sasuke, if it wasn't you, I will never do that." Naruto whispered against Sasuke's broad chest, but loud enough for the older boy to hear.
"Naruto…?" Sasuke uttered confusedly.
"And the Chem class? Why did I rejected Neji – who offered to be my tutor, and insisted to have you instead? Heck, have you ever wondered the real reason why did I took Chem as my major – aside the fact that I loathed the damn thing - after you told me you wanted to take it the day before? All of that was in for one reason, Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto pulled away to stare up at the raven, as Sasuke's face suddenly twisted in shock as a faint realization struck him.
"B-but…" Sasuke tried to shrug the prejudices away. What if he was mistaken? What if Naruto was just fooling around with him? Giving him high hopes to shatter it to bits later? "You… you never talk about us…you never said anything…"
"So did you." Naruto easily encountered. "I was afraid, that you might only been fooling around with me… even if you were, I wouldn't have minded it at all. I'm afraid if I mention it, you would break up with me, and leave me… A-after my dad died, I have no one else close to, but you, I only have you, Sasuke, if you leave me alone, then who—"
"No." Sasuke whispered soothingly, wrapping his lean arms around Naruto's body. "No. no. no. Never. I'll never leave you, Naruto…" He repeated the words near the blonde's ear, soothing.
Naruto breathed the sweet scent of Sasuke's cologne, sighing contently. "I love you, Sasuke."
The arms around Naruto's body tightened. "Naruto," He whispered, voice trembled in joy. "God, Naruto, say it again."
Naruto laughed a soft, blissful laugh. "I love you." He repeated, closing his eyes.
Then Sasuke pulled away slightly, to plant kisses on Naruto's forehead, his eyelids, his puffy cheeks, his nose, and his lips chastely. "Naruto, Naruto, I love you, I love you." He muttered, a beautiful smile graced his handsome face. Naruto giggled softly.
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The next day, the sky and the sun – the whole world had never been so beautiful. For Sasuke and Naruto.
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Fin.
Author's Note : I hope you all enjoyed. Oh my, this one-shot is long, isn't it? I have a week left until the class started, so I have a lot of free time to write this, and I have to say that I do have everything I want here and quite pleased by the end. Could you be a dear and review? To be perfectly frank, the authoress is very anxious because this is her first fanfic, and needs comments of what she had done wrong and she had done right, she believe it is for future reference of her next stories.
And for addition... I just realized that I had made anonymous reviews off-limit? I didn't realize that until a reviewer mentioned it, so that's why I thought there was something a bit odd... I'm sorry, it's because I am new, I have yet to explore the functions of my account. It doesn't necessary mean I don't like anonymous reviews, in fact, I love them as much! Please forgive my obliviousness.
Much love,
-Chemy
