I need you tonight.

I parked my car and ran up to your front door, digging in my purse for the key you had just given me days before. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I couldn't get inside fast enough.

You're my only link to sanity right now.

Once inside, I dropped my things on the couch and walked down the hallway as quietly as I could, shedding clothing as I went until I was only wearing my panties and a camisole.

You were sound asleep, curled up on your side with your arm tucked underneath your pillow and your lips slightly parted. You looked so peaceful, and I hoped I wouldn't wake you.

I need to feel you next to me.

I slipped into bed and lay motionless for a few seconds to make sure you didn't stir. When I was sure that you were still asleep, I pulled the covers up to my chin and turned towards you, placed my hand tentatively on your waist, content for the moment with just that small amount of contact. I felt my hand rise and fall with your breath.

And then you rolled over, faced me, and I rolled too so that you were spooning me. Your strong arms automatically wrapped around me and pulled me closer to you. The warmth of your body seeped into mine and I felt a little less shaky, a little more grounded in reality.

Please just hold me tonight.

"Cameron?" you mumbled against my neck. You were barely skirting the edges of wakefulness, and I wanted you to drift back into your dreams. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to explain, didn't want to accept sympathy or pity. I just needed to be close to you.

"Shhhh… go back to sleep," I whispered soothingly, and you did. I tried to match my breathing to yours, tried to make my heart beat in rhythm with yours. My very physiology was off-kilter, and I needed you to reset it, to be my pacemaker.

You are my lifeline.

As I choked back hot, stinging tears, I placed my fingers around your wrist and counted the beats for what seemed an eternity. Until I could no longer tell the difference between the throbbing in your veins and my own. Until I was finally able to breathe again.

You are my pulse.