Alright, here's my third story ever and first for Resident Evil. I was inspired by the lack of merchant fans to write this. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, because if I did, I'd build myself a zombie blasting chamber.

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Chapter 1: Welcome, Stranger!

Leon quickly shot the infected mercenary right in the head, causing a parasite to appear.

"Shit…" the blonde agent swore.

He began to unload on the tentacle-ish monster, but to no avail.

"This thing is tougher than the others!" he exclaimed, taking his shotgun out to finish it.

And with a blast, it fell to the ground, it's incessant twitching coming to a cease.

"That oughta teach the bugger," Leon said, side stepping the creature.

As he went away from the scene, he felt something wrap around his ankle and tighten suddenly, and from instinct he looked down. "Crap!" he proclaimed, as the not-so-dead parasitic head's tentacles wrapped tighter, threatening to cut off his blood flow.

He took out his knife to finish the job, when a thunderous shot was sounded. The tentacle loosened its grip, and Leon was freed. Knowing that it was a gunshot that freed him, he took out his gun, ready to return fire.

"Well, Stranger! Looks like you're slippin' up, ey?" a raspy voice arose.

Leon holstered his gun, knowing the familiar voice. "When did you get here?"

"Been here for quite a while, Stranger. I got some rare-" the Merchant was interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You got some rare things on sale, 'Stranger!'" he retorted.

Slightly offended, the purple garbed man revealed himself from around a corner, "Well, if yeh want to be like that, then maybe oi should just go on 'n sell this magnum to someone who would oppreciate et, eh, Stranger?"

With a sigh, the ex-cop took out his XL attache' case, and took out his pesetas, "How much?" he said, without emotion.

"Oh… about sixty-five thousand should do."

"What?! What's the firepower on that thing?" he asked in a shocked voice.

"Right now, Stranger, it is about fifteen. But, if you get its exclusive upgrade, it can be a whopping fifty!" he exclaimed, revealing the gun from his cloak.

The cop took it, and examined it carefully. It looked like a normal revolver, except that it had a few more mechanisms.

"Hmph. I'll take it."

"Heheheh, Thank you…" he said, snagging the pesetas and forking over the Broken Butterfly magnum.

Putting the gun away in his suitcase, Leon inquired, "What do you even do with that money? Buy those eerie glow in the dark contacts?"

Once he had finished pocketing his money, the Merchant replied defensively, "Wot oi do with my money is none of your concern, Stranger. And how should I know why my eyes glow?! Ask the people down at Capcom!"

"Capcom?" Leon raised an eyebrow.

"If'n there's somebody in a third dimension watchin' us right naow, they'll know wot oi'm talkin' about, Stranger."

Leon shrugged, and said, "Seeya. Don't get killed."

"Eheh heh… don' you worry about me, Stranger."

"Oh, and my name is Leon, not 'Stranger'. Got that?"

The Merchant smirked, "Whatever you say, Stranger."

"grr…" he growled, trying desperately not to throttle the irritating man.

"Oh, and oi almost forgot! For a limited time only, yeh can hire me as a body guard!"

The blonde man raised an eyebrow so high, it almost left his face, "You? A bodyguard? What can you do for me?"

The purple-garbed man merely pointed at the deceased infested ganados body that he had just shot.

"Hm… it can get wearing on my mentality being alone here… how much?"

"For the low, low price of-!"

"If it's above a hundred thousand, then don't even finish talking," he stopped the Merchant.

He closed his mouth, and pondered for a moment. "Alright, for the low, low price of ninety-nine thousand nine hundred 'n ninety-nine!" he said, without the remotest hint of sarcasm.

At this, Leon gave him a stink-eye, and forked over his last few pesetas to the greedy man.

"This should last you, oh, say… ten 'ours of moi time, Stranger."

"What?!"

"Unless oi like yeh, 'n oi'll stay longer. But oi don't much loike anybody. Oi sold me own mum fer a couple hundred thousand pesetas, you know!"

Not wanting to discuss things any longer, Leon made a hand motion for them to set out.

The Merchant silently followed, making less sound then Leon was thought possible for a man carrying so much gear. They approached a ledge, with two mercenaries standing unknowingly below them.

"'old on a moment, Stranger," he whispered.

Before Leon could stop him, the Merchant had jumped off, landing on the head of one of the mercenaries, and quickly hopped off as the now unconscious man fell to the floor. Right as the other one opened his mouth, it was filled with black boot, effectively crushing his jaw and ramming a few bones into his brain.

"Come on down, Stranger!"

Leon, for the first time since arriving at the cursed village and making his way to the island, gave a bit of a smile at the non-chalantness of the Merchant. As he jumped down, he thought, "this might be the beginning of a beautiful bodyguard-ship…"

Upon landing, a nearby mercenary yelled in alarm as he saw his two dead friends and the two intruders. "Gonasho!" he yelled in an unintelligible language. A large onslaught of the mercenaries poured forth, trapping them against the face of the small cliff they had just jumped from.

"Close yer eyes, Stranger," the Merchant whispered, as he whipped out a flash grenade from his pocket.

Leon had barely any time to shield his head before the blue hand held explosive went off. He opened them again, and saw the dozens of mercenaries crouched over, holding their heads in agony. The Merchant then took out the legendary Chicago Typewriter from his vast and endless cloak, and unloaded on the hapless soldiers. Once Leon had looted the bodies, collecting four green herbs, seven-thousand pesetas, forty-five handgun ammo, eight rifle ammo, and three incendiary grenades, he questioned his greedy guard, "don't suppose you'd be willing to sell that?"

"Only after yeh complete the game 'n Ada's side games, Stranger."

"What the hell are you talking about?! What game? And how do you know Ada?" he said, truly confused by the Merchant's remark.

"Once again, if'n there's somebody in'a third dimension watchin' us roight naow, they'll know wot oi mean…" he said, looking up.

"You're a whacko…" said Leon, hiding the fact he was enjoying the Merchant's company.

"Let's go, Stranger. There'll be more soon," he gestured for them to hurry.

As Leon ran with his purple ally, he knew that the hell he would encounter would be a shit-load easier now.

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Alright, first chapter of my newest story. Please review, if you want to see later chapters. I won't bother posting again if nobody's interested. And now, for other stuff…

Special thanks to:

No one at the moment!

And you people (Resident Evil fans) need to give the Merchant more love! Without him, you'd be a screwed little country bumpkin during your adventure into feudal Spain!