My Little Homo

Zackary's POV:

! I am First NOW! Oh yeah! First Class! I'm gonna go tell 'Geal.

"Angeal, Angeal, Angeal, where art thou?" I yelled.

"Who are you looking for?" asked Sephiroth bumping into me.

"Uhh… I'm First now so I don't have to speak to you." I said running away.

"Next time I see you Fair, you're dead," he called.

"Oh… I'll come back if you spare me!" I called. Man he's scary. He made number one on my To Avoid List.

"Well I expect you to be in my bed in exactly 3 minutes," Sephiroth said. He tossed me some keys… to his room!

"Uhh… Where is Angeal?" I asked.

"In my bed, along with the rest of my fans," he said.

"Wow!" I yelled running to his room. I turned the keys in the door…

"Zackary, what are you doing here?" asked Director Lazard, he was half naked.

"EWWWW, put a shirt on!" I yelled in disgust, "where is ANGEAL!"

"He just left, he mumbled something having to do with sex and Turks," said Lazard.

"Okay," I yelled, running to the Turks own building.

"Password, and security number, thumb print, name, and secret word," The machine said.

"I'm First Class, you asshole of a machine, I don't need to give you my fucking thumb print!" I yelled.

"Okay then, leave and have a nice day SOLDIER 1st class Zackary Fair," The machine said.

"Why you son of a bitch," I yelled at the piece of shit, "No one calls me ZACKARY!"

"Yo, what's the haps Zackary Fair," asked a familiar cocky voice.

"RENO I WILL FUCKING DESTROY THIS FUCKING MACHINE!" I said.

"No need to hurt Canlynn, she doesn't bite only shoot, here you want me to help you?" Reno asked.

"I just wanted to tell Angeal I made First Class, I already went through pain by seeing…" I shuddered, "A half naked… Director Lazard.

"Holy Shit, bottom or top half?" asked Reno.

"If it was the bottom I would be in a coma, or having a seizure." I said.

"Hello Reno, you have 10,000 new missions that need completed today," the machine said.

"No fucking way I'm doin' 10,000 missions," Reno said going inside the Turk building.

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!?" I screamed. Reno held the door open for me. I ran inside and started screaming, "ANGEAL ANGEAL ANGEAL WHERE ART THOU!?"

Martial Arts Turk (F) came over. "Yo Zack, what'cha doing here?" she asked.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, oh… your one of the new kids." I said.

"First of all I'm 27 and I've been a Turk longer than you've been in SOLDIER, so do not get me started, kid," She said.

"Hey retard I'm 23 so when you're 40, I will be 36, so go to hell, ANGEAL ANGEAL!" I yelled walking away.

"He is having sex with commander," said Rude.

I ran to Tseng's room… "ANGEAL!" I yelled right outside the door.

*THUD* "Shit… fuck , go get that Angeal," I heard. The door opened and Angeal came out.

"I'M FIRST CLASS!" I screamed as loud as I could.

"I know, you could hear it, even through these thick walls, besides Kunsel called me and asked me to shut you up, you were being too loud," he said.

"Oh…" I said walking away. Well… that ruined the surprise. Sniffle. I left to my apartment. One Winged Angel started to play. "Fuck," I said picking it up. "Hello Seph… FUCK!" I hung up. Then I turned my phone on silence. Knocking. I went to the door and looked through the little hole in the top… it was Sephiroth. "Shit" I thought. I silently went to the bathroom. Thud. The door was knocked down.

"Zack, whatever happened to my room in 3 minutes?" asked Sephiroth.

I hid, "Zack's not home." He picked me up from my hiding place.

"Come on, we're going to my room," he cooed.

'NO!" I yelled and punched him, grabbed my sword and ran. He followed me, he was really fast.

"You cannot escape Zackary, I know where your paycheck is kept," he said.

I ran to the elevator just as it shut, "!"

Then I fell asleep.