A/N: So another story, but this time it's a song-fiction, and my friend helped me with the idea's and the summary. I used the song from Leighton Meester - Your Love Is a Drug.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not the song and neither do I own Castle.

I always love the reviews, so keep sending them!

Enjoy the story!

Xoxo, therealvalerie & therealeefke


Beckett was happy that her work was done, or at least, for this day and walked to her apartment. She didn't look happy. But she was. She couldn't look happy. Not today. Today was a sad day for her. Everyone at the precinct noticed and some of them knew that. Today was her mother's birthday. But she wasn't in the exact birthday-mood. But then again, who would be happy on a birthday of someone who died and meant a lot to that person? She wished all day long that she could go home; take a warm bath with candle lights and a glass of her reddest wine. No other thoughts. She didn't allow herself to think of the reason of her unhappiness. She admitted, she needed someone, someone that would be there for her every day, especially on days like these, someone who thought about her, and brought comfort to her. But even that, she didn't allow herself.

I need it
That feeling
Rushing through my veins again
Whenever you're leaving
I feel withdraw all kicking in
I going to tell you how I feel
How I couldn't breathe
When you're not with me

Beckett came to her apartment and opened the door. She did her best to keep her emotions under control. She was a Beckett. They didn't show their emotions. Alright, maybe they did, but not that easy at least. She walked into her apartment and putted the keys on a cabinet. She took her black coat off and threw it in a chair. She walked a little depressive to her bathroom and got the bath ready. After that she went to the living room and her emotions became too much. She became overwhelmed by it. She saw the empty corner of her living room and took a seat on the cold ground. She made herself tiny and felt hollow inside.

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough

Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug

Castle walked not that much later out of the precinct and was one of the only ones who worried about her. He'd seen her never this depressive before, not even last year. What has changed? The people? They change. He looked at the street and saw Beckett walking towards her home. He had a moment of doubt. Would he follow her and violate her privacy? 'Nah' he thought. 'I can do a lot of things to her, but that would be too much. I'm a wiseass. Not a jackass.' He grinned short and decided to go home.

I become a slave to my habit
Feeding for your love
Gotta have it now

Castle came to his apartment and opened the door. He thought about all kind of things. Like: How could Beckett do it? How could she not breakout in tears? He walked into her apartment and putted the keys on a cabinet. He looked around in the apartment and heard someone upstairs.

''Hello?'' Castle went to the kitchen to get himself something to drink. He first wanted to get himself some coffee, but then he thought about Alexis' healthy conversation and decided to drink water.

Alexis came down from the stairs and ran to Castle to give him a hug.

''He, I didn't expect you home this early.'' Alexis smiled a little at him and looked at his cup. It was filled with water. He actually listened to her conversation that they had last night.

''You have water?'' Alexis looked nothing but surprised at him.

Castle looked like he was thinking about a million things at the same time, and didn't paid any attention to what Alexis was talking about until she said something like: 'Dad? Are you listening?' After that, he was out of his own world.

''huh?'' Castle looked distracted at his daughter.

''Did you even listen to what I've said?'' Alexis looked a little annoyed but wanted to know what was wrong. Was it his so called 'muse'? Or was it something at a crime scene? Something else perhaps? Well, there was something, she knew there was!

''What happened today?'' Alexis calmed down and looked curious at him.

''Well, you know about Beckett's mother, right?'' Castle looked careful at her and was curious if she remembered it.

''Yeah, I remember that. What about her?'' Alexis asked.

''Well, captain Montgomery took me in private for a moment, told me that it was today her birthday. And because of the fact that she and Beckett were that close, she suffers from it.'' Castle sipped from his water.

''If I were her, I would too. But what is it what bothers you about it then?''

''Last year, she wasn't this sad..'' Castle always could've read her body language. From the first time he met her, he could've bin enable to read her like one of his books. ''..she wasn't happy either, though. But she wasn't this depressive.''

Alexis putted her arm around him and come up with an idea that could work out as an advantage for her as well. She didn't saw Kate for months... She wanted to see her again. But did think that they would meet again under better circumstances.

''Maybe you can go to her and ask that question to her, instead of me…'' Alexis took her arm back and looked at him. ''All I know is that I can't help you with that.'' Alexis thought actually about the fact that her father could bring comfort to her.

Castle gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead. ''I still don't get it why you are so smart.''

''And I am still proud of it.'' Alexis said to him.

''I don't know when I come back, but you don't have to wait for me.''

Alexis nodded. ''Alright... I'll see you later. Good luck, dad!''

''I don't think that I need it. I hope to save myself with my...'' Castle takes time to think of how to describe it. ''..Ruggedly handsomeness, but thank you!''

Castle and Alexis shared a smile and after that Castle walked out of the door, into the cold winter day. He was thinking about the things that he wanted to know, he didn't knew how to say what he wanted to know, but he thought 'Let's make it up as I go along..'

When he walked for a few minutes, he looked at a building in front of him. That was the building where Beckett lived in. He knew it for sure. He walked inside and felt the warmth on his cold skin. He saw the doors of the elevator closing and decided to be there faster by taking the stairs. The stairs were modern, but easy, perfect for a building like this. He walked to the first floor and looked at the apartment doors. He realized that this wasn't the right floor, so he went to the stairs again. He walked up, to the second floor, and surprisingly, he saw water coming out of one of the doors. When he came closer to the door, he realized that it was Beckett's apartment.

He remembered one of those days when they were making fun of each other. It went on and on and eventually, in the end, they both had a key to each other's apartments. They had never used it though. But they kept it save from that day.

Castle grabbed quick the key and lost control, the keys weren't working with him. But he managed to open the door as quick as he could. He walked inside, and closed the door. He'd never been into her apartment before. But it was furnished modernly. On the first sight, it was quite un-Beckett. There were some colors, but not many. Mostly warm colors, like dark red and dark brown. It was nice though. Although, there was something that didn't belonged here, the water. Castle looked where it came from and saw that the source of it was in the bathroom. He almost ran to the bathroom and turned the bath faucet out.

After he did that, he heard someone sobbing. It could be no one else but Beckett. He looked around in the bathroom, searching for a towel. He opened a few cabinets and eventually found a purple towel. He walked quick into the living room and looked for Beckett. He found her sitting in a corner, behind the couch in the living room. He saw that she made herself as tiny as possible. Castle walked to her, with the towel in his hands.

''Beckett?'' Castle walked closer to her.

She didn't react. But he was aware of that, so he tried her name.

''Kate?''

Beckett looked slowly up, her cheeks were covered with salt water, and the tears were still coming. She was in her own world, but then she looked with her watery eyes at Castle.

''Why are you here, Castle?'' Her voice doesn't sounds clear.

''I was worried about you.'' Castle came a little closer to her and saw how she stood up.

''Go home, Castle.'' Beckett looked at him, and actually liked being with him. So did he being with her, but then she thought back to her on of her previous thoughts. She didn't allowed herself this.

'Cause I miss you when you're gone
So right but feels so wrong
And I need to have you all the time

''Since when are you worried about me?'' Beckett looked a little more like herself.

''Well, since I saw you for the first time.''

Beckett couldn't think of a response. She actually though that everyone had banned her. She was depressive because of that. And her mother's birthday of course. She suddenly noticed how cold she was. Castle noticed that as well and pulled her into the towel.

''Thank you.'' Beckett smiled a little at him.

''Let's go to my place, you can tell what you need to tell to someone and I'll call someone to clean this up. Okay?''

Beckett nodded.

''Alright.''

Castle laid a arm around her and rubbed softly to keep her warm. Together, they stepped out of the apartment, and went to Castle's place.