Walking through John F. Kennedy airport I let the reality of yesterday sink in. My mind flashes back to Ashley in bed with her. I remember the guilt in her eyes and the door slamming as I left.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I spot a familiar face. The tall blonde is walking towards me and before I can utter a greeting, I'm enveloped in a bear hug.
"I'm so glad you're here. How are you? Did mom give you a hard time? Where are your bags? Was the flight okay?"
"Hi Paige" I get out before starting to sob into her shoulder. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. I hadn't cried yet. It gets worse as I start shaking and her grip tightens and she sinks to the floor with me.
"Shhh…" Paige offers rubbing my back as I continue my scene in the middle of a busy terminal. "It'll be okay. Let's get you out of here"
The car ride to Paige's Brooklyn apartment was filled with small chatter. My crying had subsided…for the moment… and I was feeling a little better. Paige has always been able to make me feel better. That's why the first thing I did after leaving school was book a flight to New York. Paige is three years older than I am, and the best big sister I could ever ask for.
"How were finals?" she asks
"They ended the other day. After the summer I'll officially be a senior" my voice lacks enthusiasm as I think about having to go back to my dorm room, back to UCLA.
"I'm so glad you're here" she says with a smile and grabs my hand. I squeeze back.
"I'm sorry for the short notice"
"Nonsense, 12 hours is plenty of notice." We both laugh.
Paige knows I'm not ready to talk about it. So we continue with our chatter.
"What's that?" I ask spotting something on her hand.
Suddenly the car jerks, both of her hands are off the steering wheel ad flailing in the air.
"OH MY GOD IS IT A SPIDER?? GET IT OFF GET IT OFFF!"
I catch the wheel with one hand "My god Paige there's nothing on you" I can't help but laugh and let out a sigh of relief that we didn't die because of her spazz moment.
She collects herself and takes back the wheel "You gave me a heart attack!"
"I was talking about the ring on your finger" I say defensively
"It's just a ring…an engagement ring… you know from my fiancé" she says with mock disinterest.
"Paige! Congrats! Bobby proposed?" I really am happy for her despite my current love status.
"That's right" she said extending her hand to give me a better look at the ring.
"Wow, when are you going to tell mom"
"After"
"After…?" I ask
"The wedding"
I laugh knowing that Paige is completely serious. We pull up to her apartment.
"Okay first we bring your bags up. Then we order food. Then we go out. You're 21 right?"
"21 and 10 days" I correct.
"Perfect"
…………………………………………………………………………………………
O'Connell's Pub is a small hole in the wall bar two blocks away from the apartment. We walked in and I spotted Bobby behind the bar serving drinks.
Ah. Bobby always was my favorite Paige boyfriend. And trust me there have been a few. They all fit the same profile. Tall, buff, tattooed and dangerous…looking. Bobby is the most lighthearted person I have ever met. Tall, buff, tattooed and a total softie. He always treats me like a friend and a little sister, and I couldn't be happier that he's marrying Paige.
"Spencer!!" he yells with his Irish accent over the Saturday night crowd. He comes out from behind the bar and hugs me happily. My arms go around his neck as his 6 foot figure lifts me off the ground. "how are ya?" he asks as I regain my balance.
"Always happy to see my favorite brother in law!" To this he smiles widely. Bobby has always felt like my brother, even from the first day he started dating Paige, right around the time I came out to my parents.
I'll never forget it. I was sitting in the backyard after dropping the bomb. My parents were inside fighting. Bobby and Paige came and set on either side of me. Bobby was the first to speak "You'll always be our lil' Spence" and he tousled my hair.
Again I'm snapped back to the present but this time from the sound of a full beer mug being placed in front of me.
Paige is almost half done with her drink. What do I have to lose?
The beer flows, the songs play, laughter fills the bar, and the missed calls accumulate on my cell phone. Whoever said alcohol isn't the answer was full of shit.
I feel lighter than when I walked off the plane. I feel loved and safe when I'm with Paige and Bobby. I made the right choice coming here. I even feel good enough to return my last missed call.
I get up to make the call outside. "Where are you going?" Paige asks clearly a little tipsy.
"I just need to make a call" I smile maybe a little too wide
"Don't call her" Paige says simply.
"uh…" busted
"You can if you want, I'm not the boss of you, but I wouldn't" I stare at my phone again as it begins to ring. The caller
ID saying ASH 3, I have to remember to change that.
Paige goes back to her drink and the loose conversation she's having with Bobby and a few of their friends.
Against my sisters better judgment I step outside and answer the phone. "Hello?"
The line is quiet. Maybe I should hang up. "Hello?" I repeat, this time a little impatient.
"It's me" is the next thing I hear.
"I know, I answered so I could tell you to stop calling me." I say it so calmly that I shock myself
"Spencer…"
"I'm serious Ashley, I don't want to talk to you now"
"Can we meet somewhere?"
I laugh, she doesn't know yet. "Do you think you're mistress will let you?"
She goes quiet and I know she isn't going to say anything back so I hang up. I walk in the bar sad and angry and I know I should have listened to Paige. Tears are burning my eyes, and Bobby notices and gives Paige a heads up.
2 hours and god knows how many drinks later, I'm back to feeling light headed and hearted. Tomorrow morning might be a different story.
This is going to be one hell of a summer.
