Hey, everyone. It's been a while since I've written anything, but I've been so inspired by everyone else's writing that I thought I'd give it a shot. Please let me know if anything doesn't make sense or if I've missed something on my editing. I imagine this taking place right after shift when Sam told Andy he's going under.
And I know this is shocking, but I do not own Rookie Blue.
Andy knew Sam wouldn't be staying long at the Penny. As much as he might want to be with his friends, she suspected he would shortly be spending way too much time pretending to have fun at bars. At least, that's where Andy imagined one hangs out when under for Guns and Gangs. So expecting an early departure, she kept one eye on her partner while she talked with her friends. When she saw him begin to hug the officers circled around him, she started on her own goodbyes.
Sam stepped into the chilly night air, grateful to be alone. He hated this part, hated walking away from his own life as Sam Swarek but still not yet living as anyone else. And he hated goodbyes. He much preferred to say, "See ya later," and walk out like he did every other night. Making goodbyes into a production made him think about the worst. So he was feeling good about making it out unscathed when he heard the door slam shut behind someone's exit.
Andy saw Sam's shoulders slump when the door banged close. The gesture didn't indicate happiness, but she walked toward him anyway. "Sam?" she called. His head dropped and she reached a hand out to his shoulder. "Sam."
"What, McNally?"
"I didn't get to say goodbye."
Her voice sounded so small and sad that Sam couldn't help but to turn around and face her. He sighed. "Didn't we do this already?"
Andy shook her head stubbornly. "Nope. You told me you were leaving and I wished you luck. That's not goodbye. Nowhere in there was the word 'bye.'"
As she was talking, Sam leaned back against his truck. He contemplated her words. "Okay, McNally. Goodbye." He extended his hand.
She took it but held still, looking at him nervously. "And I-I have something to say."
Sam looked up at the sky and groaned. "Great. McNally has something to say. Which means she's been thinking about something. And that never makes my life more complicated."
Andy angrily yanked his hand and Sam stumble forward a few steps. "Hey! I'm serious here. I'm trying to act like a grown-up but you are not helping."
"Okay, okay," he soothed. "What did you want to say?"
As his smiling eyes locked onto hers, whatever words Andy had planned caught in her throat. Sam's smile faded and his eyes darkened. Without thought, Andy leaned forward ad pressed her lips to his.
Instantly, the kiss deepened. Her hands grabbed his hair and his arms closed around her. They pulled each other closer. Then quick as it started, it was over. Sam shoved her back and wrenched himself away. "What the hell was that, McNally?"
Andy half turned away from him protectively and rubbed her face. "I don't know, I'm sorry—actually I'm not sorry—I just—I thought…" She sighed and dropped her hands. She squared her shoulders to him and said simply, "I realized that I couldn't let you leave without letting you know how I feel."
"How you feel?" Sam exploded, stepping close to her and throwing his arms out. "I've been here, everyday, for over a year and you decide now that you have feelings for me? I've been waiting all this time and you finally decide to reciprocate now, the night before I go deep undercover?" Andy ducked her head, causing Sam to step closer. "You do realize how fucked up that is, right? I need to have my head on straight now, more than ever. I can't be dealing with this."
Andy's head shot up. "But I—"
"But nothing. And what's more, I'm leaving and you suddenly have feelings for me? Excuse me if I don't jump for joy."
"It's not like that." Seeing him open his mouth to argue, she stopped him with a hand to his chest. "No. It's my turn. God, Sam. Okay, my timing does suck. But I'm not suddenly into you because you're leaving. If I'm being honest, I've been into you for longer than I can admit without feeling guilty."
"You've had weeks since Lu—"
"I know!" No one pushed her buttons quite like Sam. She took a breath and repeated more calmly, "I know. I didn't want to get out of something serious with Luke just to go rushing to you. I wanted to be sure I was ready. If I wasn't that would not be fair to you." Sam nodded at this. He would be lying if he said he hadn't worried about the same thing. "I also don't want to be the division bicycle."
Sam smirked. "Even if anyone thought that, no one would be brave enough to say it out loud."
Andy chuckled before dropping her gaze to the ground. "Thanks. I-I also wasn't sure if you felt the same way," she whispered, looking up at him through her lashes.
Part of Sam wanted to laugh. The idea that he might not want her or care deeply about her was absurd. Another part of him wanted to rattle her teeth for daring to be so absurd. He attempted to pitch his tone somewhere in the middle. "Then you have to be the only copper at Fifteen who didn't know." When her gaze jerked up to his, he smiled briefly. "But Andy, I'm not sure what to do with this. I'm leaving tomorrow. And-and I can't…"
Andy reached out to grab his arms and interrupt his growing agitation. "Sam. I know." Have him return her feelings had given her confidence. "I'm not expecting anything. I don't expect you to think about it at all while you're under. I mean, unless you want to," she suggested impishly. Sam gave a bark of laughter. "But I needed you to know. I couldn't stand it if you left without knowing. I just kept imagining that would happen—and you wouldn't know—or you would—and then—"
As Andy imagined all the scenarios in which Sam not knowing she cared about him would be unbearable, her fear for him rose to the surface and choked her. She stuttered and tripped on her words until Sam reached out and drew her to him.
"Shhh, Andy, shhh." He tucked her under his chin and rubbed her back. "It's okay. I know, okay? You told me. " He knew that wasn't her only worry though and continued, "And I'm not going to be gone that long. It will be okay. You know I can handle this—you've seen me do it."
Andy struggled to get her voice under control. She liked being held by him, but she didn't want to cry on him. She didn't want him worried about her right now. "Yes, but this time I'm not going to be there to watch your back this time."
Sam laughed. "True. But think how much less trouble I'll get in without you there to attract it." Rewarded by her laugh, he went on. "I'm serious. My life was so boring and safe before I got partnered with you."
Andy pulled back and wiped her eyes. "Well I guess it's a good thing you're going under then. You're gonna be so much safer." She rolled her eyes at him and they both relaxed.
"I'm still going to be working hard to get back here as soon as possible." He kept his tone light, but Andy could hear that he meant what he said.
She smiled sadly. "We'll be riding together again before we know it."
"Yup," he nodded. "You'll barely have time to miss me."
Andy made a face. "I doubt it. I'm spending my next three shifts on desk. I'm going to miss my partner immediately."
"So when I get back, we'll talk about this, figure it out?" She nodded and Sam took a breath. "And you'll still be the same? You won't change your mind?"
His uncertainty was endearing. Andy put a hand on his chest and kissed him gently. "I will be exactly the same," she whispered. Sam cupped her head and pulled he in for a deeper kiss. When they broke apart she glared at him in mock seriousness. "And you better return exactly like this. I mean it; no bullet holes or bruises or stripper girlfriends."
Sam grinned. "What about tattoos?"
Andy shrugged. "As long as it's not Jerry's name in a heart.'
The smile widened. "I'm glad you finally decided to tell me."
Andy smiled. "Me too."
Sam stood there for a moment, looking at her and feeling happy. "And I'm going to miss my partner too." And with that they came together to finish saying goodbye.
Please let me know what you think!
