I shouldn't be writing this, but I saw the 'Breaking Dawn' trailer and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. So, I decided to write it down just to get rid of it. This is just a joke, not to be taken seriously.

Warnings: Crack, OOC, possible offense & 1 bad word.

Disclaimer: All of the characters mentioned here belong to their writers. I do not own anything.


It started a few months ago. Now, it had become a sort of a ritual for them. They took turn every week to choose a movie. So, on Friday night, Sookie and her friends gathered together at Bill's mansion for a movie night.

"So, what are we going to watch tonight?" Pam asked as she settled down on the sofa with a glass of blood.

"Whose turn is it anyway?" Eric sat down on the armchair.

"It's Sookie's turn." Jess said from her place beside Jason.

"Then why are we here? Aren't we supposed to watch it at her place?" Eric lifted an eyebrow.

"This place is bigger than mine and the audio system is way better too." Sookie entered the room.

"That kinda makes sense. So, what are we gonna watch?" Jason asked.

"That's a secret. You'll know it when you watch it." Sookie said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, come on… I don't want to sit through another boring mushy drama like last week." Pam protested.

"Hey, it's a great movie!" Jess tried to defend her movie choice.

"It was absolutely boring and childish. Not to mention it was way too cheesy." Pam shot back. "If you put something like that too, I swear, I'm out of here." Pam turned to Sookie.

"Don't worry Pam. No boring mushy drama. In fact, I think all of you are going to find this one pretty funny. I know I did." Sookie answered, putting the disc inside the player and then walked over to sit at the love seat. Bill joined them a few seconds later. When the DVD menu came up on the screen, Jessica started to giggle and Jason burst out laughing. The other vampires looked at them funny.

"Twilight? Really?" Jess said in between giggles.

"Do you know this movie?" asked Eric.

"Are you kidding? You don't know this movie?" Jess looked around. She was met with blank stares. "Seriously?"

"Why don't you enlighten us?" Eric asked.

"Better yet, let's just watch the movie." Sookie said and hit the 'Play' button. The movie started. Sookie snuggled comfortably with her boyfriend's arms around her.

"This Bella character is so boring." Pam piped up after watching the movie for a while. But Sookie shushed her. When they got to the scene when Edward finally told Bella about himself, all of the vampires, except for Jess, spoke at once.

"What...?" Pam stared at the screen in surprise.

"Is he... sparkling?" Bill looked at the screen in disbelief. He sat upright, forcing Sookie to disentangle herself from him.

"Is this a joke?" Eric looked annoyed. Jessica and Sookie laughed when they saw their reactions.

"Hey, relax man… It's just a movie." Jason tried to calm down the vampires.

"This is outrageous! And… wait a second, did he really say that he only drinks animal blood?" Eric looked at the laughing Jess and Sookie.

"Yeah… They're on this diet…" Sookie started to explain.

"They don't drink human blood…" Jess continued.

"And they don't need to feed so often…" Sookie gasped out.

"Or sleep." Jess finished.

"Animal blood tastes even worse than TruBlood. We do not drink animal blood unless absolutely necessary." Bill stated with a look of disgust across his face.

"Really? I didn't know that. I thought any blood is better than TruBlood." Jess said.

"Wait until you taste it, absolutely disgusting." Pam said.

"Can we continue with the movie?" Sookie asked. They quieted down and continued with the movie.

After the movie…

"That was one of the weirdest vampire movies I've ever seen." Eric announced.

"Absolutely." Bill agreed.

"A very strange movie." Pam nodded in agreement.

"C'mon… It's not that bad." Sookie said. The three vampires stared at her.

"Not bad? Sookie, they drink animal blood!" Pam said.

"And they sparkle like a fucking disco ball!" Eric added.

"It was pretty awesome though, the sparkling thing…" Jason said.

"We don't sparkle in the daylight! We burn!" Eric exclaimed.

"A vampire who sparkles in the sun, drinks animal blood and doesn't need to sleep? Definitely strange, if you ask me." Pam said.

"Actually, it's just the beginning…" Sookie started.

"You mean there are more?" Pam asked in disbelief.

"Yes, there are three more movies; the second one is called New Moon. Oh, and there are the books…"

"Books?" Bill asked her, his eyes widened.

"Yes, honey. You could borrow mine if you want." Sookie offered sweetly.

"No, thank you." Bill quickly rejected her offer.

"So, do you want to watch the rest of the series?" Sookie asked.

"No!" Eric, Bill and Pam answered simultaneously.

"Alright, alright… Geez, I'm just asking." Sookie said, glaring at the three vampires.

"Let's just call it a night, shall we?" Eric stood up and stretched out his long limbs.

"Okay… We need to go back before dawn anyway." Jessica got up and pulled Jason with her. They walked toward the front door. As they reached the door, Eric turned and asked, "Same time next week?"

"Definitely." Sookie said.

"Whose turn is it to choose the movie?" Jessica asked.

"I believe it is my turn." Bill answered. They groaned. Bill always picked the same kind of movie.

"Please don't pick another war documentary movie." Jess looked pleadingly at her maker.

"They are very educational." Bill said to her.

"Don't worry Jess, I'll make sure he'd pick something more… interesting next week." Sookie said with a mischievous grin directed toward her vampire. Bill just glared at her.

"Alright, good night everyone." Eric said his goodbye. "Your Majesty…" He and Pam bowed at Bill.

"Goodnight Sheriff, Pam." Bill nodded at them and at the same time the rest of the party chorused, "Night guys!"

They took off into the night.

"You need a ride, sis?" Jason asked.

"No, thanks. I'm staying with Bill tonight." Sookie said as Jessica tip toed and kissed Bill on the cheek before she went over to hug Sookie. After that Jason and Jessica left, leaving Bill and Sookie standing there at the entrance hall.

"What are you up to?" Bill turned to his girlfriend.

"I don't know what you mean." Sookie feigned innocence.

"I know you better than that, sweetheart. And that look in your face tells me that you are up to something. Does it have anything to do with next week's movie night?"

"Why, Your Majesty, I'm just trying to help you choosing our next week's movie." Sookie pretended to be offended.

"I have already made my choice. There is nothing that you can do that would change my mind." He said and lifted his eyebrows, as if challenging her.

"We'll see…" Sookie smirked at him. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief.

One week later…

They're all sitting in Bill's living room in the same arrangement like the week before. Bill pressed the "Play" button and as the DVD menu came up on the screen, there were collective groans from Jason and the rest of the vampires.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Eric muttered.

"Another one?" Pam groaned.

"Are you serious?" Jason asked.

"Not again…" Jess whined.

Meanwhile, Sookie giggled softly and snuggled into Bill. He groaned, a look of defeat on his face, as the words "NEW MOON" came up on the screen. Sookie leaned closer to whisper into her boyfriend's ear, "See, I did change your mind after all…"


It's lame, I know. But I'm glad that I finally got that out of my head.