So I rewatched Thor last night and I've been reading the tweets of godofbadassery today. Oddly enough, these two events weren't connected.
But I now obviously have Loki on the mind.
After reading a certain few tweets from godofbadassery, I imagined the following.
Enjoy.
"Well yes of course - I mean if I were a horse then that would be a fine stallion."
"And we are ignoring how difficult - if at all able - it would be for a stallion and a stallion-?"
"Okay, yes, so if I were a mare. You can't deny that that would be a fine piece of stallion."
"Brother I do not appreciate the look you are giving Svaðilfari."
"Do you think he noticed?"
"Brother!"
Loki sighed, knowing that Thor was wound as tight as he'd go. His tongue glinted as he next spoke.
"Dear brother you are obviously not keeping me entertained if I am spending the day evaluating the productive and contrary aspects of mating with a stallion."
At Thor's blank look (really, Loki's silver-gilded tongue was wasted on the man) he amended;
"If the best I can do is wonder about fucking a horse then I am obviously bored, Thor."
Despite the medium-sized words, this version of the sentence seemed to get through to the Aesgardian heir.
"Of course, brother, then let us find entertainment. I hath word that Volstagg found Sif a new challenge."
By now Thor has begun to walk away from the fields, but he turns his head back to question Loki.
"Entertaining enough, brother?"
Loki smiles at his brother in agreement and waits until the elder continues to lead the way.
Then he turns his own head back, and gives Svaðilfari one last look.
"A truely fine stallion..."
"Why are you so panicked about this, Thor?"
"Someone has obviously taken him, father! We must find out who and attack accordingly!"
They both conjure the concept of Loki telling them That's actually 'act accordingly, brother' in their minds. If he were there to say it then this conversation would not be happening in the first place.
"I know he is you brother but Loki is capable-"
"And he is your son! How can you just sit while unknown powers grapple at him-?"
"It has only been a month, Thor, that is nothing. He has been gone for longer before."
"But never without telling me. I'm telling you something is wrong!"
"So those times you claimed not to know Loki's whereabouts were lies?"
The Allfather has caught him out in the middle of an old lie. Thor always covering for both Loki and his own culpability by deny knowledge of Loki's mischievous escapades.
A touch more subdued, Thor persists.
"Something is wrong, father. Even Svaðilfari is worried."
"He will be fine, son. But I will ask Heimdall to see him for you."
Feeling a weight greater than Aesgard lift off his shoulders, Thor sags from released tension.
"Thank you father."
"Father! So excellent to see your face once more."
However, it is not Odin that responds.
"Loki!" And Thor rushes forward to sweap his brother into an almost crushing hug.
The younger god smilies indulgently and gently pries his brother away from him.
"Brother, I was only gone for ten months."
"But ten months without a word?"
"I thought it were time I repaid the favour, brother."
Loki whispers just the name of a realm and Thor has enough sense to be abashed. He recalls leaving Loki behind for that particular adventure, worried for the god who had been sick at the time. The adventure had been just a little longer than expected.
The god of mischief turns now back to Odin.
"I thought to return with a gift, but apparently I return with two. I assure you I did not think my mere presence at this feast would be a gift, nor that you would care about my disapperance so much."
"It is good to have you within the halls of Aesgard once more, Loki."
A trademark grin slides onto Loki's face.
"But I digress," he gestures to the doors at the end of the hall and they softly swing open, "Your gift, father, to make your journeys always easier and forever eight-times as quick."
And in through the doors walks a foal. It has a strong grey coat that looks as smooth as velvet. And with every step it walks, the occupants of the hall feel their sense of normalcy titling more and more to one side. If anything, it is this feeling that lets them know that Loki is truly back home.
There is something wrong with the horse's steps. For every 'clip' ther is a simultaneous 'clop'. It sounds like it is walking with too many hooves, or with twice as many legs. As this conclusion dawns over everyone at about the same time, they turn their disbelieving expressions downwards.
The foal has eight legs.
"I made him myself." No one doubts this. "He is Sleipnir and I gift him to you, Allfather."
Loki announces this all with a smile that is familar on his face - pleased, but slightly wild with the knowledge that this act is titling everyone's realm sideways.
"Thank you, son." Is Odin's dry response.
"You haven't said anything about my gift, Thor. You usually have a word or two."
"I think father plans to ride him."
"I suppose that's fair. Most horses, after all, get ridden."
The look on Loki's face - not actually lewd but just the hint of innuendo at his words - is what finally snaps Thor's will. It's surprising he lasted this long given his usual impulse control (or, more accurately, lack thereof).
"Did you birth Sleiphnir?"
The grin that Loki answers with does not help Thor's nerves.
"What would prompt that query, brother?"
"Because- because-"
Loki laughs at his brother's helplessness in trying to explain and takes pity on him.
"Yes brother, I believe I said that already."
"You did no-!"
"'I made him myself.' where my exact words I believe."
"Oh you- you-"
There is a tense moment where Thor looks like he's going to explode from the frustration of it all. Then Loki quirks a little smile and it all deflates into laughter. Loki's good at doing that.
"You, my brother, are impossible." Is what Thor concludes, now all grins and brotherly back-slaps.
Loki takes it in good grace, happy with his brother by him and pleased at how his latest piece of mischief turned out.
Years pass like Midgardian months and soon there is a feast in Thor's honor.
As they laugh and revel, Odin mentions how a steed hastens passage to any location considerably. He turns to Thor and suggests;
"Perhaps we should gift you a steed yourself. A nice strong stallion."
"No!" Thor's considerable shout draws much attention.
Odin looks to be in good humor, but still none too pleased with the outburst. To reject a gift - especially from one's father, especially the Allfather - sounds very disrespectful.
"Ah, that is-" And Thor has never been good at spinning tales. Loki thinks to help and nudges a shoulder against his brother.
His gesture does not have the desired effect of Thor letting Loki whisper an excuse in his ear. Instead, Thor slings his arms around his brother and pulls him in closer.
"With how he does follow me about and how I must care for him, Loki is enough of a pet for me."
It is Frigga who titters a laugh first, but soon the table sweaps up the excuse and laughs it acceptable.
Relieved, Thor let's go of Loki and has just taken a mouth full from his goblet when Loki casually whispers to his ear (casually as if he's not doing it at all, just leaning to the side and not even looking at him);
"I'm enough of a horse, too."
It takes all of Thor minimal self control not to spit his mead across the table. As it is, some of it dribbles out the corner of his mouth before he can swallow.
So what I should probably be actually doing is finishing off The Voice but no.
I should probably just stick to one-shots. I have no clue why I'm churning them out so easily lately.
Reviews are wonderful, fellow Midgardians!
(Also, this is the wrong fandom, but I find it unimaginably hilarious that my Moira/Charles one-shot has no reviews but both my Erik/Charles one-shots have a handful of reviews each. Good job fans.)
