Loving Humanoid (AU) Ch.1: Valentine's Day

Ring Ring Ring Ring

Ring Ring Ring Ring

"Wakey, Wakey, Pyon!"

"Mmmmmm," groaned Rukia turning to face her Chappy the Rabbit alarm clock. It said 8:45 a.m.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE! SCHOOL STARTS IN 15 MINUTES!"

Rukia jumped out of bed, ran to the kitchen, put in a Pillsbury Strawberry Toaster strudel in the toaster, ran back to her room to change into her school uniform, grabbed her bag and breakfast, and ran out the door.

"How could I've slept through my alarm clock?" she said running into the school. And why do we have to have so many stairs at this school? she thought to herself. With all her strength and speed, she made it to class with five minutes to spare. She rushed to her seat and ate the rest of her breakfast.

"Kuchiki-san!" sang a cheery voice.

Rukia looked and saw that it was her best friend Inoue Orihime.

"Orihime, just call me Rukia, please," she said chuckling and finishing off her breakfast. "Oh I'm sorry, Kuchi- I mean Rukia!"

Rukia and Orihime had been friends since their first year in high school. Now they are in their second year and are both 16.

"Oh Rukia, are you going to give Shiba-kun some chocolate?"

"WHAT?" said Rukia caught off guard.

"You know! Valentine's day is in two days! So are you going to give him chocolate?" questioned Orihime.

"Oh, well, I don't know, maybe," said Rukia.

Shiba Kaien. Just the thought of him made Rukia's heart flutter. Kaien is a 17-year-old third year, with spiky black, beautiful hair, tall, muscular, and athletic. Everything about him is perfect.

I forgot that Valentine's Day is almost here. Should I make him chocolate? Then again he'd probably receive chocolate from a bunch of girls at school. She sighed to herself. I'm not good enough for him. My hair isn't pretty, I'm small, I'm a tomboy, and I have no rack! Rukia looked at Orihime's questioning face and then her boobs.

Uggggggggggggh, why do I have to have a flat chest, God?

"Kuchi- I mean Rukia, don't get sad! Why don't you at least try? I'm sure he'd love it and the realize your the one for him!"

"I don't think that would happen Orihime. But I understand. You're right, I should try!" said Rukia. I shouldn't get depressed! I'm going to try!

"O.k. class, take your seats!" said their teacher.

"Let's go shopping after school for supplies," whispered Orihime to Rukia. She nodded in reply. After school was over, she and Orihime bought the chocolate baking supplies and then left for their houses after saying goodbye. Rukia took a short cut that went through the park, to her house. At the park she saw couples everywhere. Some were cuddling together, some kissed, and some held hands as they walked. Now this made Rukia depressed again. I really wish I had a boyfriend.

"Is anything wrong, miss?"

Rukia turned to see who was talking to her. On one of the park benches, sat a girl who looked about 19. She wore a simple black dress with a large handbag, had long black hair in a braid, porcelain like skin, an indifferent face and a c-cup.

Dang it all. Does everyone have to have a rack? she thought to herself.

"Oh no ma'am. I'm o.k.," responded Rukia.

"Are you sure miss?" said the woman.

"Yes, I'm quite sur-"

One of the tree branches Rukia was next to, cut a hole in her shopping bag, making all of her cooking supplies come out of the bag.

"Aw man," said Rukia face palming.

"Here let me help you miss," said the lady bending down to pick up her stuff.

"Thank you," said Rukia helping.

They put everything in Rukia's school bag since the shopping bag was ruined.

"Thank you Miss uh-,"

"Nemu. Kurotsuchi Nemu," said the lady as she bowed.

Rukia dropped her school bag in shock.

"Kurotsuchi. As in Kurotsuchi Businesses that sell almost all types of products from make up to cars?" said Rukia in shock.

Kurotsuchi Businesses were popularly known through out the whole country for their high quality products that were very expensive. The owner was Kurotsuchi Mayuri. He's one of the most powerful and richest men in Japan.

"Yes miss. Kurotsuchi Mayuri is my father," said Nemu with an indifferent face.

"Oh my goodness, it's an honor Kurotsuchi-sama!" said Rukia fumbling with her bag and bowing.

"Thank you miss," she said still with a stoic face. "Are you going to make chocolate for your boyfriend?"

That caught Rukia off guard.

"Huh?" she said.

"Well, I noticed that your shopping bag contained chocolate and baking supplies,"

"Oh, no. Not really," said Rukia.

"Oh, o.k. But would you be interested in these new beauty products that will capture any man's heart?" said Nemu with a straight face holding advertisement fliers for Kurotsuchi products.

Wow. She acts like a fast sales woman thought Rukia. "Uh, no thank you," she said shaking her head.

"Are you sure? We have vitamins that make your hair grow longer and pills that help your breasts get bigger," she responded by getting the products out of her large handbag.

Gah! No! I must not fall for these expensive products that I can't even afford!

"Uh, no. I think I'll be going now. It was nice meeting you," said Rukia trying to leave.

"Wait ma'am! Isn't there anything you would really want?" said Nemu.

Very persistent thought Rukia annoyed. "Fine, I want a boyfriend," she said bluntly.

Holy Crap! Why did I say that? she thought panicking.

"Oh. Well consider it done ma'am," said Nemu putting her products away.

"Huh?" questioned Rukia.

Nemu took out a small business card and gave it to her.

"Go to this website and you'll find what you're looking for," she said bowing.

Rukia looked at the card. It read Kurotsuchi Businesses (New Project) .com/newproducts/humanoids.

What's this? she thought. Rukia looked up, but Nemu was already gone.

Where did she go?

Rukia headed home. When she got in, the house was empty. Rukia sighed to herself.

It's so lonely without Nii-sama thought Rukia.

Rukia's big brother, Byakuya Kuchiki, had a job that required him to work overseas in the United States. He wanted Rukia to come, but she refused because she said that she was just fitting in to her new high school and she didn't want to go. So he allowed her stay in Japan, but he promised he would call her every time he got the chance. Rukia was fine with that and managed to learn to live in a house alone. Rukia really loved it when her brother would send her strawberry flavored foods from the U.S. Especially Pillsbury doughboy toaster strudels. Those were her favorite. Although she began to think that the United States was a bit weird when he would tell her an American citizen's actions. She was even more shocked when she found out the U.S. didn't even know who Chappy the Rabbit was. Chappy was her all time favorite bunny rabbit that she was obsessed with. The house she lived in was pretty bare. Just the way Byakuya left it, but her room was Chappy galore. From bedspread, to slippers, to pajamas, to a couple of posters here and there, and of course, her beloved alarm clock. Even here screen saver on her computer had Chappy on it.

I should probably put my alarm on earlier and a lot louder, she thought.

She looked at her computer and then her pocket.

"Aw, screw this! Let's just see what it is!" she said out loud.

Rukia turned on her computer, got on the Internet, and then typed in the URL. When she got to the website, it read 'Humanoids The Ideal Lover.'

"Humanoids? What are those?" She scrolled down the web page. It read:

Having trouble with love? This new invention will help both men and women. Create the ideal lover by giving him or her the physical qualities and personality you want!

"What the heck is this site?" she said to herself.

To create your lover click here.

So she clicked it. There on the screen appeared several blanks with questions. They said different things like, What gender, What hair style, What hair color, height, weight, What color eyes, etc.

"Maybe it's just one of those dress up flash games." Rukia remembered when she was little how she loved those games, but this website was a little more asking. Why would she give me a site to a flash game? Unless it's some kind of survey.

"Aw what the heck. Let's just try it out. I wonder what an ideal lover would be," she asked herself. Her thoughts went immediately went to Kaien's physical appearance.

Maybe I can type down some of his physical characteristics and then just have some fun! She thought to herself.

For hair color she typed in orange and for eye color, she typed in amber.

Now time for personality she thought. Great cook, respectful of other's opinions, but can put up a good debate, respectful of women, athletic, dependable, makes me smile, comforting, protective (but gives me space), smart, funny, strong, can dance, understanding, and social.

If only guys like that really existed in this world thought Rukia love struck.

"Well that's it," she said as she clicked the continue button. The next page said, He's ready and will be at your home soon! Just put your name, address, phone number, and then you're done!

Not really caring (or giving much thought), she filled out the information.

(Do not try this at home people)

Thank you! Your lover will come soon!

Rukia yawned, turned off her computer, and decided to go to bed.

The next day was the day before Valentine's Day.

"I'll make a nice chocolate for you tomorrow Rukia," said Orihime.

"Thanks Orihime," she said nervously. Orihime may be her best friend, but her cooking was horrible. I'll take it to make her smile.

"Don't forget to make a chocolate for Shiba-kun, Rukia!" chirped Orihime.

"I'm already on it!" she responded. That night, she made the chocolates. One for Orihime and one for Kaien. And as a special surprise, she added a strawberry filling.

The next day, Rukia and Orihime exchanged chocolates. Orihime loved Rukia's chocolate, but Rukia told Orihime she would eat it when she got home. She didn't like how the chocolate looked. It had a kind of grayish blue hue mixed with brown.

"I'm going to give my chocolate to Kaien," said Rukia smiling.

Orihime smiled back and let her go. Rukia went to the third year's floor and then to Kaien's homeroom door. But she was too nervous to go inside. O.k. I can do this she thought to herself. She peeked through the door's window and tried to look for Kaien. Then she saw him, sitting by the window, with a third year girl kissing his cheek and massaging his scalp. It was as if the world just suddenly stopped moving. She could feel her heart ache.

Oh. Well, I guess I won't need this she thought looking at the chocolate at in her hand. She walked back to class with a broken heart. She tried her hardest to act casual all day so Orihime wouldn't notice. But her friend just kept asking her what happened. So she told her that Kaien accepted the chocolate and thanked her for it. Of course she was just lying through her teeth, but Orihime believed her. So when school was over, she left depressed.

I can't believe it. I shouldn't have even tried.

When she got home, she saw a deliveryman at her doorstep with a package about 6 feet high!

"Kuchiki Rukia," said the man.

"Uh, yes," responded Rukia aghast.

"Sign here please," said the man handing her a notepad.

After she signed the paper he brought the package in to her house and left.

"Wow! What's in this thing?" she said in an awestruck voice.

The large package was lying on the floor with fragile tape wrapped around it. On the front of the box, it read Kurotsuchi Products.

No it can't be, she thought. Rukia started to rip off the fragile tape and ripped the package open. There in the package was a person. Rukia screamed.

"Holy crap! It's a living human being! Oh my God, Oh my God! What do I do?"

She looked at the person and noticed it was a guy wearing only pants and no shirt. He had orange spiky hair and KAIEN'S BODY!

It's the guy I created on that website! she thought to herself. I thought it was just some kind of survey or a flash game!

The guy looked like he was sleeping. He was even warm and breathing!

"Is he in some kind of coma?" said Rukia.

Rukia then saw that he had an envelope underneath his hands. Rukia carefully took the envelope from his hands, opened it and saw that it was a card. On the front it said, A Gift for you on Valentine's Day. In the inside it read Thank you or purchasing our new product the Humanoid. He is now yours, miss. Just read the instruction manual. It will tell you everything you need to know. - Kurotsuchi Nemu.

P.S. A colleague of mine and I will visit you in a few days to see how the product is doing and is to your satisfaction. We will also explain everything as well. Also, since you are one of our special customers, we have added an extra quality to him for free.

"She wasn't lying when she gave me the card," said Rukia to herself in disbelief.

"O.k., uh, manual! Manual, manual, manual!" she said looking through the package. She finally found it at the guy's feet.

"O.k., let's see, uh, WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN? 'Do not worry. The humanoid male cannot get you pregnant. Nor can the humanoid female get pregnant.' Sick!"

Step 1: Turning the Humanoid on.

As you may notice, the humanoid looks and feels human, so the there is no ON switch. But the humanoid does have a Body Heat Sensor located on its lips. Press your lips to the humanoid's lips. It will then recognize you as it's lover and activate.

"NO! I can't do this! I haven't even had my first kiss yet!" said Rukia freaking out.

But I can't just leave this, whatever it is, lying in the middle of my house. What if someone comes in and gets the wrong idea?

Rukia looked at the Humanoid. He looks so peaceful. Almost like he's sleeping. Even with orange hair, he looks kind of cute.

Rukia pulled her hair back, blushed at five different shades of red, and closed her eyes.

Then she kissed the Humanoid on the lips. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her back. Slowly arms wrapped around her waist as they brought her into the package. The humanoid was moving and kissing her back! Slowly, she felt it rise. Rukia opened her eyes when it's lips came off hers. The humanoid was staring at her! It was also smiling at her! Then it spoke like a normal person saying, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kuchiki Rukia."

He placed his lips on hers again. That made Rukia blush again.

"WAIT!" said Rukia covering the humanoid's lips with her hands. The humanoid looked at her, confused.

"What or who the heck are you?" she yelled getting out of the package.

"Who am I? Well that's an easy question. I'm your lover," he said nonchalantly as he got out of the package and started stretching as if he just got out of bed.

"WHAT? I don't even know you!" she said backing up against the wall.

"Sure you do! You asked for me," he said smiling as he crouched down. "Look." The humanoid went back to the package he came in and brought back a piece of paper. He gave it to her and she read it. It looked like a certificate. It had all the physical characteristics and personality she filled out on the website. It even had her name on it! Rukia sat on the floor, stupefied. She looked as if the life was drained out of her.

"Are you o.k., Rukia?" said the humanoid putting his hand on her forehead and putting his face very close to hers that their noses touched.

"Eeep!" said Rukia as she shot straight up from the floor. "I'm fine! I just need to think this over." She staggered against the other wall, holding her forehead.

This is too much. What am I going to do? Wait!

Rukia went over to the package were the note from Nemu was. After rereading it, she calmed down.

It says that they'll come in a few days. So by that time, I'll just return him!

Rukia looked at the humanoid and noticed that he was in the kitchen.

"Uh, do you eat?" she asked looking at him. I don't know exactly what he is or if can even eat.

"Yeah, I can," he responded.

"You want something?" she said.

"If it's o.k. with you," he said.

"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?" said Rukia going towards the refrigerator. It's almost like taking care of a little kid.

"Uh, what do you like?" she asked.

"I don't know. I've never tasted food," he responded.

I guess it's because he's some kind of product. she thought to herself.

Then an idea hit her. Rukia went to her school bag and took out the chocolate she was originally going to give to Kaien. It's better than throwing it away, she thought to herself.

"Come over here and try this," she said handing him the box that contained the chocolate as he came to the couch.

The humanoid sat down with his legs crossed, took out the chocolate, and bit into it. His eyes became wide with surprise.

He must really like the strawberry filling, thought Rukia.

"Where did you get this?" he asked in delight.

"Oh, I made that chocolate," she said.

"You made this?" he said surprised.

"Yeah you like it?"

"It's delicious!" he said happily licking off the strawberry filling from his fingers.

He even acts like a little kid, she thought giggling. Him saying that he enjoyed it made her smile.

"Can I ask you something?" Rukia said to him.

"Sure," he responded.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't have one," he said bluntly.

"You don't?"

"Nope."

That's sad, she thought to herself.

"But you can give me one," he said going to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

"I can?" she asked

"Yeah. I'm yours, so you can give me a name."

"Uh, O.K." she said. It's kind of weird that I have to give him a name, she thought to herself.

What's a good name for him? Kaien? No, I don't want his name to be that, remembering her heartbreak earlier that day. She brushed away the thoughts of Kaien and got back to naming the humanoid.

Hmmm, thought Rukia. Then she remembered how much the humanoid loved the strawberry filling in the chocolate she gave him.

"How about Ichigo? You like that name?" Rukia asked.

Suddenly the humanoid picked her up and embraced her. Rukia yelped.

"Ichigo. That's a great name! Thank you, Rukia! I love you!" he said as he buried his head in her chest.

Rukia blushed.