Surrendering

I look at his earthly brown eyes detesting the sheer confidence that erupted from them in waves. I twist my hands on my staff with matching determination."Leave" I say with a calm mono-tone voice that expresses nothing out of the ordinary. "I'm Gon Freeks. I'm here to see my friend Killua". The audacity of that kid! How dare he? "You are not worthy of the friendship of my master" and I can feel his blood boil. "Why am I being tested? There shouldn't be qualification in a friendship". He started walking toward me dragging his feet while staring at me with his bruised face. I didn't hesitate as I strike him down, away from the line that I vowed to protect. His so called friends are doing nothing. They have taken his orders in letting him settle "this". As if I was a mere obstacle in his way. I feel aggravated and strike harder the next time he walked by. I'm not using my full power; he is not worth it I have decided. Beside, Mike do appreciate a living meal every once in a while.

A small thought slithered its way to me as I stared Gon down, he is now spitting blood, panting as the sweat glistened on his face and arms, and it flickered as the sun started to drift asleep. I realized that I was mad at him. He has accomplished what I was forbidden to do. He has become master Killua's friend. I blinked away a threatening tear and banished that idea as If it too was hit by my staff. He can't be his friend, I reasoned. But master Killua told me he had made a friend. It shook me to the core. I always knew that master Killua was different; he wasn't fully abstained like the rest of the family was. It felt like every one of them has an outlet, or something that satisfy them. Zeno and Silva has their missions, Kikyo and Kalluto had the unbalanced company of each other, I never got too close to illumi for various of reasons so I don't know anything about him, and I doubt it because I didn't get close, he has this aura of nothingness, it felt like no matter how close you are you will never get a glimpse of him, better stay away before being swallowed. Milluki, well I'm not too keen to figure out what he does in that room of his with all those figurines. Killua always felt lost, bored, and if he wasn't training he would talk to me. Masters never talk to servants unless it's a direct order. But him, he would tell me about his mission, show off his techniques and even got to the point that he offered me his friendship.

As a good butler, I had to refuse, so I did, I told him that I was there for him whenever he needed me, and he simply asked "isn't that what friends do?" he craved one and I extracted it out of his reach. I hurt him, I hurt my most favorite master, and I hurt who was secretly my best friend if not more. I stare down looking at the head of my staff, his gift is still there. I realized that I might have lied about accepting his offer but my actions were always true at heart. Gon is now crossing the line, and I can't find it in me to hit him again. If he did Killua right, if he gave him all what he ever wanted, who am I to take that away? I finally allowed my tears to cascade as my uneven voice begs him to save not just my master Killua, but also my friend Killua.