Okay, I can do this…..I CAN do this. Deep breathes. In…Out….In…Out….I can't do this. I can't. This is a horrible idea. Any job that takes place in a warehouse with a striper on the corner isn't a safe job. God, I should just go back to Mom's and serve Chinese food to strangers…And live in my mother's basement…..I GOT TO DO THIS! I can NOT live there anymore, I got to grow a pair and learn how to do my own laundry. Fuck, I am a nerd.

"Howdy!" I shoot my head up to see a guy about my age, with messy brown hair and brown eyes, he had a round face with slightly pudgy cheeks, and you could see he had a little pudge around the middle.

"H-Hi!" I said, trying to look professional, voice shaking. "I-I'm Kevin Stoley, here for the j-job offer."

"Oh, Okay! Come in, dude!" He said, pushing me in. I followed him down a dark hallway, to a large room that looked like a living room.

"Craig! Got the number guy here for you." The brown haired man said, I looked over his shoulder to see a black haired man with something in between his legs.

"Dude, Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!" Clyde chuckled, jerking his head towards the form, bobbing up and down in his lap.

"Clyde, just bring the person in here so I can tell him he has the job already." Craig grumbled, flipping off Clyde. He does NOT sound like a person you can easily get along with.

"Hey! I thought you'd said I got the job!" The, now very pissed off, women from Craig's lap said, shocked.

"I say a lot of shit." Craig shrugged, taking out a cigarette, lazily. "You ain't that good, you should practise."

"Ah! You Bastard!" She screamed, before slapping him across the face. She then stomped out, Clyde checking her out as she walked by.

"Nice ass." Clyde said with a goofy grin, nodding as if agreeing with himself.

"I've seen better." Craig mumbled around his cigarette. "We having chicken tonight?"

"Don't know!" Clyde said, flopping down on to the couch, as I stood there awkwardly.

"Who the hell is this?" Craig asked, pointing over towards me with his middle finger.

"Ah, new kid. Said he was here for the job, either he's the number guy or he's here to suck your cock, dude." Clyde laughed, reaching out at the bowl on the table, taking out a handful of candy.

"He's the number guy." Craig said, rolling his eyes at the other's stupidity.

"Sooooooo, you're like good with numbers and stuff?" Clyde asked me, though it came out muffled by the food in his mouth.

"Uh….ya." I said awkwardly, shifting foot to foot.

"Cool, cool. I'm not good with like…..math and shit. I'm more of like, the muscle, dude." Clyde said, leaning back and trying to act all cool, a lot like the guys who use to stuff my head in the toilet in high school. High school wasn't a good time for me, and it still isn't that good. But, him acting like that made me a little uneasy. I don't really want to get swirlied at work.

"Oh…." I said, trying to figure out a good response. "Cool." Smooth, Kev.

"Ya…..but, I know like a little math and stuff. Like the basic's." He said with a nod.

Craig snorted, laughing around his cigarette, "Really? What's five times five?"

"Ha! That's easy! It's twelve, like give me something easy, dude!" Clyde scoffed, shaking his head, "He acts as if I'm like an idiot!" He chuckled, leaning over to talk to me. I just tried to stifle my laughter, biting my lip.

"I-It's actually twenty-five." I said, trying to not laugh. It wouldn't be a good first impression to laugh at a person you just met. Or who could hurt you. Or stuff my head in a toilet, repeatedly.

"Dude, really!" I then watched as he started counting his fingers, trying to do the math. He started getting frustrated, soon throwing his hands up in frustration. "Fuck Man! I don't have to do math! That's why we have, like, calculators and nerds and shit!…..No offence."

"None taken." I said, trying not to laugh at his childishness.

"Not that I don't like seeing you struggle, we should get down to business." Craig sighed, alerting me back to him.

"K dude!" Clyde said, sitting up straighter. "So, when ya moving in?"

"E-Excuse me?" Did I hear him right? I know I wanted out of my mum's basement. But I meant in my own little apartment, where I could walk around in my underwear, and have a bath without my mom putting bubbles in it! "What do you mean move in?"

"Like, live here now." Craig said, stretching out on the couch. "It was in the job ad." Fuck, didn't know that, I really need this job though. "I'm guessing your not packed."

"Um, no sir." I said.

"Huh, then how 'bout you take Clyde and grab your shit. It'll be easier, that way. Clyde, take your truck." Craig instructed, motioning to Clyde to leave.

"On it boss!" Clyde said, jumping up and doing a saluting motion.

My mom is probably going to go crazy.

~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~

That was hell. Total hell. My mom was sobbing, and begging me to not leave. And because Clyde came, she thinks he's my gay lover. At least she talked in Chinese, so he has no idea what she was saying. Still, it was embarrassing. At least I had already packed away my old kid junk, including my Star Wars bed spread. Ya, I was nerd…..okay I was the king of nerds. And still am.

"Okay, dude! Got the dresser!" Clyde called, pushing the big piece of furniture in front of him, through the door. Before it suddenly halted. "Um…it won't move."

"I think it's stuck." I said, inspecting the dresser. Ya, the handle's won't fit threw like this. "Ya, the handle's won't fit. We'll have to tilt it or something."

"K! Grab that side and lift. We can do this shit!" He announced triumphantly. Okay, does that guy have eyes? I have no muscle whatsoever! Well, maybe my thumbs from the years of playing video games….and other things. Hey! I'm a boy! I have urges, and I don't get many booty calls, thank you very much!

"Um, I don't think that's gonna work?" I said shyly, not trying to offend him.

"Why not? If it's the stuff Craig said about me being an idiot, he's an ass!" Clyde said, wide eyed.

"N-No, it's just I'm not the strongest around." I said, holding my arm up and flexing to show how little muscle I have.

"Ohhhhhhhh….Hm, HEY TOKEN!" I cringed as he screeched, yelling into the hallway.

"What the fuck do you want, Clyde?" A big African man said, stomping down the stairs. He looked really smart, with glasses and he had a large white coat on.

"We need some muscle! And you should have a lot from pounding Bebe every night." Clyde chuckled, patting Token on the back as he walked up to the dresser.

"I do not pound her, it's making love. And it is not every night…..she's to pissy during her period." Token smirked, knuckled bumping with Clyde.

"Whatever dude." Clyde laughed, crawling over the desk with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey, just cause you can't get anybody. Doesn't mean you have to be a little baby." Token chuckled, getting ready to lift the dresser up.

"Hey! I can get anybody I want!" Clyde said, lifting up the dresser with Token.

"Sure, pudgy." Token snorted, putting down the dresser with Clyde.

"Fuckin', rich asshole." Clyde grumbled, chuckling as he set it down.

"So, this the new kid?" Token asked, pointing towards me.

"Yep! My new roomy!" Clyde said with a goofy smile, slinging an arm around my shoulder…..WAIT!

"W-Wait? What?" I said, trying to find away that made it sound like I get to live in my own room.

"Well, we're rooming together now dude! Everyone has to share a room…though most are fucking." Clyde said, eyes squinting in thought.

"So, this the new kid?" Token asked, looking at me.

"Ah, yes. I'm Kevin Stoley." I said, shacking his hand.

"Token Black, I'm the doctor here. If you ever need anything, come to me." He said with a smile.

"BOYS! DIN-DIN!" I heard someone yell from downstairs. It was about five seconds before a there were many voices, including Clyde's of "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Before Clyde, dragged me down the hall way to a room outside the living room.(I haven't gotten the tour yet) I quickly guessed it was the kitchen. Token following right behind us.

There was a blonde women standing in there a pink frilly apron on. She was laying out plates on a large table, a bunch of food spread out across it. Well, actually enough food to feed an army! Like seriously, how many people are living here?

"Bebe, was for dinner?" Clyde asked, jumping into one of the chairs. I shyly sat down when Token offered me a chair, sitting next to Clyde. Token moved over to Bebe, walking up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I made stew!" She said happily, clapping her hands, pointing towards the huge croc pot in the middle of the table. If it was only stew, then what was with the tons of bowls. I guess she saw my confused face, because she continued talking. "Everyone likes something different with their stew, buns, bread, pickled onions, mustard pickles."

"Oh." Was my only reply before Craig and three blondes came running through the door.

"Food?" They asked, looking at Bebe, then the table, then back at Bebe.

"Sit down boys!" She said with a smile, waving the group over.

They all sat down, Token and Bebe included. Soon there was millions of hands, reaching over, grabbing, people talking, laughing. I sat there awkwardly, nibbling on my bun.

Soon I felt something being thrown at my head, I looked towards Craig who was sitting at the head of the table. "I think it's time we should introduce ourselves too the newbie. Ken, you go first."

The scruffy, dirty blonde boy reached out his hand, "Hi, I'm Kenny McMormick, sexual ninja!"

The bleach blonde boy/girl, I wasn't quite sure, looked at the boy in horror. "Kenny! That's the last time I let you read one of my books! G-Golly Kenny, and I thought I-it'd give you something to think about!"

"Awh, Buttercup! It did, guess what it is?" Kenny said, pulling the other blonde down to his lap.

"O hamburgers, w-what?"

"I love you." He said, placing a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips.

"G-Golly!" The blonde stuttered, slight blush across his face.

"That's Butters Leopold Scotch." Clyde whispered in my ear, leaning over. I tried to keep down the blush covering my face.

The tall blonde, that was so skinny could fit threw a key hole, nodded in my direction. "H-Hi! I'm -Ngh- Tweek T-Tweak!"

"Nice to meet you all!" I said weakly, forcing a smile so I didn't look as much of a loser a I actually am. They all nodded before continuing whatever they were doing before.

"Hey!" Clyde said suddenly, pointing to me with his fork that still had a piece of meat on it.. "Your Japanese, right!"

"Chinese." I corrected, moving the fork out of my face. Truthfully, I didn't want this guy waving a pointy object near my eye.

"Right! So, you like grew up in Korea, ya?" He said, taking a bite of the meat right in the middle of the sentence.

"China." I corrected, I'm slowly understanding why he's not the number guy. "And I was born and raised here. But I have visited there before."

Clyde nodded, forehead creasing in thought. "Hm…okay then….SO, does that mean you have eaten like….dog?"

All started gagging, coughing up their food. "Ah, no." I said awkwardly. "But, I have had bird's nest."

"Dude! Like actual nest's of a bird!" Kenny exclaimed leaning over the table to look at me, I just nodded shyly at their reactions.

"How, can you like, eat a little birdie's home?" Bebe asked, making a really bad bird with her hands.

"Well, it's just swiflets. And it's really expensive. Most eat it because it tastes really good, and it's supposed to be really good for you?" I said, trying to justify the eating of 'little birdie's' homes.

"How?" Butters asked, leaning over also.

"It has a lot of protein, calcium, iron. It helps a lot of medical stuff too, and its ability to rejuvenate, restore youthfulness and ensure glowing and wrinkle-free complexion" I quotes from one of the magazines my mom read.

"OMG! You are going to help me buy that tomorrow!" Bebe exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Ohh, were going to need new recipes! And probably other Japenese-"

"Chinese!"

"-Chinese ingredients! Oh, honey I'll like need you're ~credit card~!" Bebe finished, looking at Token.

"Fine." Token huffed, whipping it out.

"Actually, my uncle could probably give a bunch to use for free! He has like a whole bunch, and doesn't like them." I said, not wanting to make other people pay for me speaking.

"Oh, I like that idea!" Token quickly agreed as soon as I said free.

"Yay! I'm gonna be wrinkle free!"

If anyone noticed, i changed Kevin's awnser to the math question! A helpful person pointed out that i forgot to make 10x10, equal 25 instead of10! Thank you d r a m a t i s . e c h o!