Jace's pov
I stood at the door trying to think of what I could say to comfort my sister. It had been a week since our mother passed away, and she barely speaks to anyone besides Simon and myself. "Clary? Can I come in?" I asked. I knocked again when no answer came. "Clary?" I called.I grabbed the door handle only to discover it was locked. I listened for her breathing, and suddenly I heard glass shatter followed by a thump. "Shit! Clary!" i yelled. I tried to shoulder the door open,but it didn't work. Stepping back I kicked the handle in and ran in. I looked around and felt my heart drop. Right in front of me Clary laid bleeding from her head and a bottle of pills on the floor. "Clary!" I yelled and ran to her. "Clary, Clary wake up! Clary! " I yelled as I pulled her into me. No answer. "Alec! Simon! Izzy! Someone please! Help!" i screamed. I heard footsteps coming towards us, and I looked back at Clary. "Clary,please hang on! I'm here. I'm here. Just hang on!" i begged, tears streaking my face. "Jace! What happened?!" called a voice. It was Alec and Magnus. "Magnus! Clary, I think she overdosed and hit her head. Please help her!" I cried. Magnus knelt down next to us. He ran his hand across her forehead and closed his eyes. "She's fading fast. Alec get Jace out of here." Magnus said. I felt Alec touch my shoulder. "No. No, i'm staying here. She needs me!" I snapped. Magnus opened his mouth to say something but Alec cut him off. "Jace, Magnus needs room to work. Clary will be fine. Come on now, brother. " he whispered to me. I looked down at Clary, then at Magnus. I brushed her hair out of her face, and kissed her forehead. "Stay with me." I whispered. "Save her." i begged as Alec helped me stand. "I will do all that I can Jace. I promise." Magnus swore. Alec pulled me out of the room and led me down to the study. The walk was silent, Alec kept sneaking glances at me but I didn't care. Once we reached the study I threw myself into the chair near the fireplace. "Jace, she's going to be okay. Magnus knows what he's doing." Alec comforted. I didn't answer him. Feeling Alec's worried gaze on me, I sighed. "I'm bad at this." I said. Alec's expression changed from worried to confused. "Bad at what? Jace I don't understand." he said. I sighed again. "At being an older brother. I should have known she was suicidal, but it didn't even cross my mind to take a real look at her. If I had I- I could've..." I explained. "Could've done what Jace?"Alec asked. "I don't know something! I could've said something or...or done something to show her how many people love her. How much everyone loves having her around, and how she can make anyone feel happy when she's there. I could have told her how special she is to everyone. And...and how much..." I ranted. I sighed. "And how much I need her here." I whispered.
Silence hung in the air. "Jace when Clary wakes up you can tell her then,but she needs your strength right now. You have to be strong for her." Alec said putting a hand at the back of my neck. I shook my head and sighed. "I don't know how to do that anymore. I wasn't strong enough to save my mother,or to stop my father. I'm not even strong enough to protect my sister. I'm weak,Alec" i admitted. It was true. Clary was the strong one, she always was.
Alec pov
I looked at my parabatai whose eyes were stricken with grief. "Jace, you are many things; arrogant, stubborn, self-rightoius even, but you are not weak. Neither is Clary. You have kept me and izzy going our whole lives. I've watched you fight and sacrifice yourself to protect those who matter to you. You're not weak, you're broken. And that's okay so long as you don't let it cripple you." I said. "How can you have that much faith in me?" Jace asked. "Because some of us are strong, even in the broken places. And you are strong, so show her. Be better for her, because she needs you now." I promised. Jace nodded. "I don't know what I'd do with out you Alec." Jace said calmly. "Oh you probably would have died a very dramatic death by now." I teased. We both laughed, and remained in silence. I took this opportunity to recognize the changes Jace has gone through in the past year. He went from an emotionless badass to someone who is much kinder and stronger than he's ever been. Clary did that to him. She challenged and pushed him farther than anyone has dared to do. In doing this, she has managed to do something no one else has been able to do. She made him feel love. He no longer views himself as a stray that we took in out of pity, but as a warrior capable of immense compassion and loyalty.
Clary herself was one the strongest shadowhunters I have ever met. To see her so broken made my heart ache. No one deserves what she has had to go through. She's lost everyone. Her mother was dead, Luke was barely able to come by due to his new status, Simon was now immortal and could only see her at night. Everyone from her past was vanishing slowly before her as she was forced to become part of us. Though I understood her more than I ever had. I knew all to well what it felt like to force yourself to be someone you're not. 'That could have been me.' I think to myself. Where would i be if I never met Magnus.
"Hey Alec." Jace said. I snapped back to Earth. "Yes?" i answered Jace. He looked like he was contemplating something harder. "Seriosly, thank you. I know Clary being here changed everything. And well you know you could've died. But thank you. I couldn't do this if it wasn't for i'm really happy you and magnus worked everything out." he said. I smilled softly. "Hey we're parabatai. Its my job." I answered. Jace and I hugged each other. I said a silent prayer to whoever was listening.
Look I don't know if anyone is listening.
But if you could please just let Clary live...
Jace needs her. And I need him to be okay.
So if you could, uh, just let her be okay.
She's a good shadowhunter, so it would uh, be bad if we lost her.
Um, yeah, so thanks-i mean Amen-i mean Sir-I mean uh whatever
this is Alec by the way. lightwood uh sir.
The sound of doors opening cause Jace and I to separate to look at Magnus. "Mags what-" I started
Jace pov
I cut Alec off. "How is Clary? Were you able to-I mean is she-is she" I stuttered. I felt my panic rise and my heart jump to my throat. "She's alive Jace. Clary is okay, it was close though." Magnus said calmly. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 'She's okay. She's alive, i haven't failed her. She's safe' I launched myself at Magnus. I saw Alec's eyes widening as I hugged Magnus. When I stepped back Magnus seemed just as shocked. "Thank you! Thank you Magnus. I owe you my life for this. Thank you." I said.
Magnus waved his hand. "No. Don't worry about it. You've saved Alec enough times. I know what its like to be afraid to be alone. Especially after you love them. Just take care of her Jace." he said. I noted how he Looked at Alec when he brought up the past. I saw the love and loyalty there. "And you take care of him. Alec is a good man. I expect him to turn you into one too." I said. Alec smiled. "Go see her Jace." Alec said. He didn't need to tell me twice. I ran down the hall into Clary's room. When I opened the door Clary was now on her bed propped up a bit by pillows, asleep. I moved as quietly as I can over to the side of her bed,and sat down next to her. 'Thank you whoever is up there. thank you. I am going to do better by her. Im gonna be a better brother, friend, ally, teacher. I am going to just be better in general.' I prayed.
"Mmnn." Clary mumbled. I looked up and saw her beginning to wake up. Smiling I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Clary. Clary can you hear me?" I called. She slowly opened up her eyes groaning. "J-jace? What?" she asked looking around. "You took half a bottle of pills." I said calmly. Clary sat up. "Jace I-" she stuttered. I shook my head. "I uh, I was fucking scared. When I came in you- you were-you" I stuttered. Tears filled my eyes and began to streak my face. "Jace. Jace I am so sorry. I tried to throw them up, I changed my mind. It didn't work though." she admitted. I cupped her face. "Why the hell would you try and kill yourself Clary? Don't you know how much we all need you? How much I need you?" I asked. She began to cry, and I pulled her into me. "Don't ever do this to me again. I need you here Clary. You're all I have now." I said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jace." she whispered. We stayed like that for a while before separating. "How did you bring me back?" she asked. "Magnus was here. He and Alec came in after I screamed. Magnus brought you back." I answered. Clary nodded, and began to get out of bed. When she tried to stand, she nearly fell. I grabbed her. "WIll you take me to them?" she asked.
"Soon, I promise. But right now you need to rest." I said setting her back down on the bed. "Then stay. I really don't want to be alone tonight." she said. I smiled at her. "Okay. I'll stay." I promised. I settled on the other side of her and we watched each other. "Jace" she whispered. "Hm." i answered sleepily. "Do you think he actually loved us? Or were we just another tool for him to use." Clary asked. I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I-I...Clary here is what I know about him. He was incredibly skilled in battle, protective of what was his, his anger was deadly, but he never allowed any harm to come to me. He trained me hard to ensure survival and optimal results. And he searched for you and... her for a long time." i answered. "That's not what I asked you." she said. I looked at her. "I know,but that is all I know." i answered. It seemed like for now that was enough for Clary. "Sleep now, Clare. Save your strength." i ordered. "You need to sleep too." She yawned. "I will. Don't worry about me." I whispered. Clary fell asleep, and I followed soon after. For once the fear of incoming danger left me, and I slept peacefully. Content and loved. Knowing no matter what happened I wasn't alone. Clary and I would take on whatever came next. Not that I didn't love Alec and Izzy, but Clary was my blood. My actual family. She understood me like no one else could. We slept feeling the protection,love,and warmth that the other exuded.
Alec POV
I watched Jace leave the room, and looked back at Magnus. I smiled at him. Magnus smiled back, and beckoned me with his finger over to him. I slowly walked over to him stopping a foot away. "We have buissness to discuss Alexander." he smirked. I chuckled. "I don't know what your talking about ." I said. Magnus took a step forward. "As you well know,I don't do free." he whispered. "Name your price then, ?" I teased. "I have a certain task that I think you and your stamina rune can help with." he said pressing a kiss to my throat. "T-task?" i stammered. "Mmhm. But I must warn you it is extremely strenuos. Are you sure you're up for the task?" he teased kissing my jaw. "Oh I'm sure I can handle it." I said leaning in till our lips we centimeters. apart.
"So, Magnus,what did you have in mind?" i asked. Magnus shuddered. We shared a look and he crashed his lips against mine. I pulled him against me and kissed him with all of my passion. We broke apart and I kissed his forehead. "I love you." I said. Magnus smiled and took my breath away. By the Angel he was so damn beautiful. "I love you too my darling angel." he whispered. He leaned in and kissed me again. I ran my hand through his ink black hair and deepened the kiss. We broke apart and Magnus kissed my throat. Unable to take anymore teasing I pushed him against a wall and kissed him with renewed fire.
"Your place. Now." I said against his throat. "I love it when you get all commander on me." Magnus groaned. He distractingly opened a portal on the wall supporting him. We fell through and landed on soft silk sheets. Laughing at our clumsiness we kissed again. Snapping our clothes away, Magnus seemed to make it his personal mission to kiss every inch of skin on my body. Not that I was complaining. Magnus and I became a mess of tangled limbs. Our bedroom began to smell of sex and sweat, and filled with a symphony of gasps, skin sliding against each other, and wanton moans.
Magnus began calling out my name like it was one of his incantations, and ran a hand through my hair. While I whispered "I love you's" and promises of love into his skin. My skin felt electric and my heart was going to burst. We climaxed together,a melody of each other's names. I held Magnis close as we tried to catch our breath.
I looked down at Magnus love filling my heart. Magnus looked up at me his eyes showing an emotion so intense it nearly stopped my heart. I loved this man so fucking much. By the Angel I loved him.
"Promise me something." Magnus whispered pulling me out of my reverie. "What?" I asked. "Alec promise me that no matter what, you and I will never leave each other." he said. I looked at him. "Magnus, I am yours truely madly and deeply. I will be yours and only yours for all eternity. In this world and the next." I swore. Magnus smiled and snuggled into my chest. "And I yours, Alexander Lightwood." he said. Blankets covered us and we fell into a calming sleep. I meant every word I was always going to belong to Magnus and Magnus alone forever.
