[/insert standard disclaimer]
Kakashi hadn't heard Sakura's approach, or even sensed her presence until she sighed.
"Visiting your team again, sensei?" she murmured.
He didn't give his reply to her hip, since the answer was obvious- and part of a routine. She would track him here after missions, frisk him for injuries and then drag him to Ichiraku's with updates on Naruto's condition. It was strangely comforting, the routine. She never asked about his past, presumably trusting that he'd tell her when he felt comfortable doing so.
Then she was standing beside him, hands reaching out to brush along their names, her head bowed in a quick, silent prayer.
"Why do you come here so often?" she asked softly, turning to face him fully.
"I killed them," he muttered, avoiding looking up to meet her beryl eyes and staring past her at the obsidian stone behind her. Kakashi wondered what the hell was going on. Sakura almost never asked him questions anymore; on the rare occasion she did, it was always about his injuries and their recovery status, his most recent mission, or his vague plans.
She snorted. "Nonsense."
He said nothing.
"They don't blame you, you know," whispered the girl.
"They should," he answered darkly. "How would you know they don't blame me, anyway?" He couldn't help the scathing look he sent at her.
Sakura only smiled, a bizarre mixture of grim and happy.
"I've been speaking with them since you've been gone," she remarked, seeming smug.
Kakashi grunted, not amused. "What else have they said about me, then?"
"Oh, not much," she replied airily. "But they've alluded to your history with Obito-kun, and Rin-chan is very pretty. They make such a cute couple."
They sat in silence for a few moments, each of them eyeing the other and the stone.
"They're happy, Kakashi-sensei, in their afterlives. Even Minato-sama. The only grievance they have...is you. And I agree with them," Sakura stated, somber and soft, gazing directly at him now. "They- we- all hate what you're doing to yourself in your remembrance of them."
He kept his silence.
"They say," she continued, oblivious to how his back had stiffened, and the shocked rage building in his face, "that you're too wrapped up in your past to see what's in your present. They're sick of seeing you at the memorial all the time, sick of you passing up opportunities that would be great for you, because you've already dedicated all your time to them. The dead can see you no matter where you go, you know."
Kakashi still didn't answer, just kept staring at the rock, implacable.
It infuriated her, his indifference to his friends' opinions.
"They gave their lives to save yours, you selfish bastard! The least you can do is live it!"
That garnered a response at last.
"How the hell would you know what they gave their lives for?" he hissed. "You never met any of them! They were all dead long before you were born!"
Finally Sakura knelt to face the stone, though the motions were slow and difficult.
"I know," she whispered brokenly, "because it's what I gave my life for." Her hand stretched out again, this time to trace a name closer to the end of the long list and Kakashi saw...
Haruno Sakura
Carved into eternity.
His breathing stopped, and he couldn't stop staring at her. Suddenly, the gaping wound in her abdomen was plain as day, and he wondered how he could have missed it before.
She looked up at him and smiled.
"It didn't hurt," she murmured. "Dying, I mean." Her voice faded, carried away on the breeze. Eyes shining with tears, she forced happiness into her laugh as she told him, "I meant what I said. Every one of us wants you to stop feeling so guilty for something you had no control over, because it's useless and all you're doing is weighing us down. Obito-kun and Rin-chan want you to live the life they gave theirs for. And so do I. Because I love you."
Sakura tamed her smile into seriousness. "Keep blaming yourself and I'll haunt you and it won't be pretty, understand?"
Then she was gone, a last smile on her pretty, bloody lips, and somehow Kakashi knew he would never quite forget that expression in her eyes when she looked at him.
I've had this swirling in my thoughts for a long time, and have had it written for a while- even before sakura haru posted her amazing oneshot Kaidan: Ghost Story- but I want to mention it here, if only to give her a bit more well-deserved publicity. This is only part one. I've a little more yet, at least two more parts, if anyone cares. Also, if anyone cares to tell me if I screwed something up, I'd appreciate it. I proofread it, but I'm only human. (If you want to worship something, worship Christ, okay? He's done a lot more for the world than I could ever dream of doing.)
