Hey everyone. How are you guys doing? So, this is my new one-shot I was working on for the past few days. I wanted to upload during the holidays but that didn't go so well. So I left it alone till I felt like continuing this. So the reason that got me started on this again was because of MinaNaru4ever - 8027forever's story. I was reading it till I remembered this. Since my mood match this story, I started working on it like crazy. So please enjoy this one-shot. This is based of Soundless Voice and Proof of Life by Rin and Len Kagamine.
Soundless Voice of Life
LoveOneself
October and November flew pass quickly as December came along. Tsuna was sitting up on his bed watching snow fall from the blue sky to the ground with many others. The cold temperature made a light fog surround the corners of the window. But he can still see through it. Oh how he wished he could go outside and play till his body gave out. However, the winter season will soon end like any other. There won't be any time for such thing. It was two months ago. Two months ago was when he found out that he had an incurable disease that shortened his lifespan. No one else but him knows about it. And he didn't have any intentions of speaking about it to anyone else.
"How are you doing?" A familiar voice asked.
"I'm doing fine. You worry too much Yamamoto." Tsuna replied.
Takeshi Yamamoto was a childhood friend of his. They were together from the very beginning. It was hard to say that they even separate from each other. They have a close relationship that could be the same as brothers. Tsuna was living alone for five months since his mother and father joined the war. That would be the same for Yamamoto's father as well. And it was four months ago since they started living together. Over the long period of time, they gotten used to living with each other. At the same time, Tsuna found himself falling in love with the handsome teen. Alas, he wished he didn't. He was dying very slowly. And Tsuna could tell his time is running out. Falling in love was something unexpected.
"Here, I made you hot chocolate." Yamamoto smiled.
"Thank you… Your hot chocolates are my favorite." Tsuna commented.
"Thanks. That means a lot coming from you."
Tsuna reached out for the cup and sips on it. The drink warmed his body instantly. He pulled it away from his lips and stares at it. He's going to miss times like these. Times like these with just the two of them felt nice. That was what Tsuna didn't want to leave behind. The brunet would wonder what his friend would do if he wasn't around. What would he think? Will he be okay on his own? Those were some of the questions that would enter his head from time to time. Tsuna turns away from his drink and stares at Yamamoto. He was enjoying his hot chocolate. He caught the brunet's stare and smiled brightly. Tsuna's heart began to ache. Even so, he smiles back.
"What should we do today Tsuna?"
"I was thinking of staying here for a while. After that, I want to go outside."
"But isn't it cold out there? You might catch a cold."
"I don't mind. I'm sure you'll take care of me if I did."
Yamamoto laughed, saying that he would. Tsuna laughed along with him. Hiding secrets became much easier than it did before. If he couldn't then he wouldn't know what to do next. Lying to his closest friend was never his intentions to do so. But he became scared over the past two months. The brunet didn't want to worry the taller male. Carrying this heavy burden was punishing enough. Tsuna always thought that Yamamoto would smile no matter how terrible a situation is. There was nothing that could have dented it. That kept him moving forward. However, will Yamamoto still smile if he's not here with him? Will that smile be there like it was supposed to if he finds out? Tsuna's hand started to shake lightly. The cup in his hands eventually slipped. It fell to the ground, spilling what was inside and breaking into millions of pieces.
"Ah, s-sorry Yamamoto… I got clumsy and accidently–" Tsuna started.
"It's okay Tsuna. Stuff like this happens all the time." Yamamoto reassured.
Yamamoto left his cup on the nightstand beside Tsuna's bed. He lowered himself to the ground and started to pick up the shattered pieces. He started with the biggest then to the smallest. Whatever was remaining there was wiped away with a rag that he rushed down to get. It wasn't his clumsiness that caused it. No, it was something else and he knew that. Before he found out about his disease, his body didn't work as properly. His body would shake like how it did before or he would drop to the ground without control. At first, the brunet thought it was a minor muscle issue that would pass. Alas, it didn't. It eventually became worse than he thought. Yamamoto became worried and asked him to visit a doctor. And he did so.
"I'll be more careful next time. I promise Yamamoto."
"There's no need. As long as you're fine, it's okay."
Tsuna watch as Yamamoto walks out of the room to put away the rag. He never came to realize how grown up his friend is. He didn't really stop for a moment to closely look at him during all those time. Even though his body is changing, his personality remains the same. He's still the same caring person he fell in love with. Tsuna lies back down on the bed. The aching was getting worse by the minute. Time is running out. He can feel it. While the brunet was busy with his thoughts, someone else was standing by the door watching him. Yamamoto frowns sadly. He closed the door so quietly for the other to not hear. He closed his eyes and rests his head and hand on the door. Tsuna's heart wasn't the only thing aching.
–
Yamamoto was washing the used cup. Tsuna was still in his room staring out of the window. That was the only thing he does after coming home from the doctors. He was worried about him when the brunet kept collapsing unexpectedly. He would lie to him saying that he was careless and clumsy. He lied to him back then too. But Yamamoto wasn't a fool. He could tell how weak Tsuna's body was becoming. However, he didn't say anything. At first, he didn't know. He came to realize it after Tsuna's body grew thinner and because of that letter. That letter was addressed to the brunet from the doctors. It was not his intentions to read it but his curiosity won over. Up until now, Tsuna never knew about it and its' hidden in his room. He could even recite it word for word.
Dear Tsunayoshi Sawada,
I have checked the results of your examination. Unfortunately, it's a disease that is still unfamiliar to us. There is no medicine, treatments, or cure that can assist you. I apologize for the terrible news. You already know this over our previous discussion. We will inform you if we have any other additional news.
That's what it said. Nothing more, nothing less… Just thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. He didn't like the idea of Tsuna not being around. He didn't want to be left behind. There were times where he is facing the brunet's back. When that happens, he couldn't help but to reach out for him. He really wanted to reach out to him and keep him by his side forever. Alas, he held back. There was nothing he could do but to stand on the sideline, smiling. Smile like he doesn't know, like it didn't bother him the least. He did that instead of screaming, crying, and whining like a child. He just wants to break everything. He wants to deny all of it till his voice crack. Yamamoto placed the cup back on the cup rack. When he was done he saw Tsuna was standing on the stairs, wearing his winter jacket.
"Yamamoto, are you busy right now?"
"Oh, uh, not right now. Is there something you need Tsuna?"
"I wanted to go outside. Do you want to join me?"
"Sure, I don't mind. Just give me a second to get my coat."
Tsuna walked down the stairs to the door while Yamamoto runs upstairs for his coat. When the taller male rushed pass him, he felt something was off. As if the brunet was somewhere far, far away to a place he couldn't go. He ignored it and continued on. He got his coat in his room and rushed downstairs where his younger friend was waiting for him patiently. The front door was opened a bit just to know what the temperature was like outside. Tsuna was staring blankly at the wintery scenery. He had an expression that was never seen before. He looked like he is distancing himself.
"Ah, I got it. Let's go now." Yamamoto smiled.
"Oh Yamamoto… Yeah. Let's have fun today."
Tsuna rushed outside with his hands up high as snow fell. Yamamoto followed behind him, smiling as he watched. It has been a long time since he saw the brunet this cheerful. Most of the time, he's in his room staring at the window. The younger male twirled in one place as the white snow danced around him playfully. The taller male stood aside as he continued watching. It seems like the brunet is having fun by himself. The lingering smile faded as Tsuna accidently trip over nothing. He rushed over to the brunet to see him still lying on the snowy ground with a bright smile. He moves his arms and legs around, forming a snow angel.
"Join me Yamamoto. This is really fun." He suggested.
"Ah, I think I'll pass for now."
"Okay then. More fun for me."
Tsuna continued on what he was doing till he stood up. He looks at his masterpiece and smiles again at how it turned out. The brunet later shook his body to remove the snow on his jacket. How he did was similar as to how a cat would shake their body after escaping from a bath. Yamamoto held in his laughter at the sight. The laughing ended when Tsuna walked forward blankly. The taller male followed nevertheless. He looks at his surroundings. For the first time, he realize that they somewhat live in nowhere. There were no houses or people around like how they are. There were only trees surrounding them. But there was one tree that stands out unlike the rest. It was a tall oak tree in the middle of the field. It was there for as long as he and Tsuna were here.
"Hey Yamamoto… Do you think this tree will continue on growing healthy?" Tsuna asked whisper-like.
"Yeah, I think so. It might take some years though. But it'll grow." Yamamoto answered.
"I wish I could watch it during the spring with you."
"We can. I can set up some chairs on the porch and we can drink my hot chocolate."
Tsuna hummed happily at the idea. He walked closer to the leafless oak tree and placed a hand on it. If only he could. The brunet let his hand slide down the tree as he allowed his brown eyes to follow it. The smile on his face soon faded as it formed a straight line. Oh, how he wish he could. Tsuna wish time could stop right now this very moment. But that's not how the world works. His hand returned to his side when it reached to the tip. He stared at the tree and looks upward. His cold breath would accompany it. Yamamoto was standing behind, watching like he did before. He felt uncomfortable. Something is wrong. Tsuna turns around with his lips forming a weak smile.
"That sounds really nice. Sometime I think you're spoiling me."
"I don't think so. Even so, I want to. I like seeing you smile."
"Yamamoto, come sit next to beside me."
Tsuna bent down to sit on the snowy ground while leaning on the tree. He gently patted on the side of him to indicate where Yamamoto should be. The taller male smiled before taking his place on the brunet's right side. When he finished settling down, the younger male rests his head on Yamamoto's shoulder and closes his eyes softly. All the pain and aching simmered down after that moment. The taller male took that as an opportunity to hold Tsuna's hand. After playing with snow, he could tell it was cold. They sat there in silence. Not a single word passed their lips. They didn't mind. Instead, Tsuna continued on resting his eyes while Yamamoto watched the snow fall from the cloudy sky.
"I wish it's like this every day." Tsuna whispered.
"But your hand is cold from playing right? You might get sick after." Yamamoto warned.
"I don't mind. Even though my hands are frozen, my body feels warm."
"If it gets too cold, we can go inside now."
"No, not yet… I want to stay here a little longer."
Everything became silent. Yamamoto allowed his eyes to wander from the cloudy white sky to the small house. Even though he lived there for a few months, it felt like forever. He could recall in the back of his mind of what they've done in the past. There were many memories he wished he could go back to. Those were the simple days when they didn't worry about anything. Many months before in the fall, he would go out and rake the leaves like normal. Tsuna would come out of the house screaming cheerfully as he jumped onto the pile of leaves. And they would come home from walking to the local store for food daily while talking about anything they could think of. It all felt so natural. They shared smiles, laughter, and dreams.
There were many happy times. Even so, there were sad times. It was the end of October and the beginning of November. That was when it all started. It was during the morning when Yamamoto was preparing breakfast like normal. Tsuna was coming down the stairs from his room. Just that minute, a loud scream and sounds of thumping reached the taller male's ears. He quickly turns to the stairs to see the brunet lying on the floor, motionless. That day was the first time he felt his heart died inside. He rushed over, dropping a plate of eggs and bacon to the floor, to the brunet. He held the fragile boy in his arms, calling his name shakily and repeatedly. The only thing he got in response was Tsuna's body shaking from the pain.
"There are so many things I wish I could say right now. I don't know where to start." Tsuna said.
"What is it that you want to say? How about starting on the most important?" Yamamoto suggested.
"Most important… Then, I want to say thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Stand in front of a burning house?" Yamamoto joked.
"Maybe…"
Tsuna is known for his inability to take care of himself. That's one of the reasons why his parents asked him to watch him while they're away. If you give the brunet lemons to make lemonades, you'll find broken glass all over the kitchen in the cabinets and such after. It was a complete mess. But the flustered expression Tsuna made was worth looking at. That made Yamamoto immediately forget that there was broken glass all over and it could cut him. And it's best not to talk about how the lemonade tasted. The taller male was happy that he made through that while smiling.
"I feel sleepy." Tsuna whispered.
"Should we go inside? I can carry you back." Yamamoto asked.
"No… Being here is nice… Just for a bit longer."
Yamamoto said nothing. He turned his head slightly to see Tsuna smiling gently. The brunet's grip on his hand started to loosen. The other male didn't take any notice to it. Out of sudden, the younger male hummed a random tune. It was slow and sweet. It sounded like a lullaby used for little children. He closed his eyes and listened to it. His body relaxed and his mind was off somewhere else. The cold temperature didn't seem so cold anymore. The sound of humming came to a stop minutes later. The sudden change of weight made Yamamoto open his eyes. He shook the brunet a bit. He didn't respond.
"Tsuna, it's not good to sleep here. We better get inside."
Still, no response… Tsuna's grip on his hand was no more. Yamamoto was thinking that the brunet accidently fell asleep after being out too long. However, in the back of his mind, he could feel that Tsuna isn't 'asleep' like he was expecting. His skin was getting paler to the point it was ghostly white. His body was cold as snow. But that's probably because it's cold out here. He picked up the younger male, carrying him bride style. Yamamoto started to walk to the house. Every step he took, the further his heart was sinking. He couldn't help but to recall that letter the doctor sent to the brunet. By this point, Yamamoto was running.
He didn't make it in the house. Yamamoto dropped to his knees, still holding Tsuna. The brunet was turning paler compared to his normal skin tone. The taller male knew what it meant. He just wants to deny it all and say that it's all lies. Or maybe it could be a humorless prank that he does not understand. The weight of the body became lighter and colder as time pass. Yamamoto pressed his forehead on the brunet's. There were so many things he wished he could have said. And so many things he wished he could have done. He gave out a sorrowful chuckle. He leans in closer and pressed his lips on cold ones.
"Cut! That's a wrap everyone! Great job…! And where is my coffee?" The director shouted.
"Maybe we should do something about that kissing scene. Let's make it hotter." Reborn suggested.
"Don't add anything weird Reborn!" Tsuna shouted.
"How about skipping all this and let them have a bit of 'fun'?
"Great idea Reborn-san…!"
Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Reborn are on a movie set. A twenty year old brunette director wanted to shoot the movie. She was a beginner since this was her first movie. How Yamamoto and Tsuna got involved was when she was looking for actors to act in her movie. That was when she saw the two walking home together. The atmosphere between them made her want them in it. Reborn was here because he wanted to make sure everything was going soothe and in case the brunet wasn't causing any trouble. Now the two actors are resting up after the fourth shooting. Reborn was giving weird suggestion to the director.
"Stop changing the script!" Tsuna shouted.
"This is really fun, right Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked.
"I guess so. But I'm worried about what Reborn is going to do."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's not going to be anything bad."
Yamamoto laughed cheerfully. But Tsuna only gave him the benefit of the doubt. He later gave in to the idea as his nerve simmered down. Who would have thought the two of them would have gotten recruited for a movie? And it's a romance movie nevertheless. Well, not that the brunet dislikes the idea. He likes spending time with Yamamoto. The director called for the taller male, asking him to come to where she was to see if some scenes needed improvements. Yamamoto shouts back that he'll be there soon. He gave a quick kiss on Tsuna's cheek and ran off to finish work. The brunet blushed. His mind later wondered if he and Yamamoto were in that situation. What would he do? Or what the taller male would do?
"I wouldn't have started on 'thank you'… I would have started on 'I love you'." Tsuna thought.
That was what he would have started on. But that was just his opinion. However, he bets Yamamoto would say the same if that ever happened. It had more meaning to it.
–
I am finished! I wanted to finish two days ago but homework doesn't do itself… Or does it? Anyways, my laptop is getting dirty. I need to get it clean. I'm so excited! Why? Because I have 63 new ideas to write for 8027! But I still need to finish My Little Family. I'll get to it soon. I got multi-chaps and one-shots all ready. Or at least listed on my special 'to do' list. And there are some stories that I can't really tell if it should be in which category. But other than that, my mind is overdriving! Oh yeah, the reason why I didn't do the 'lay on the snow dead' scene because that's really weird… There's no 'spark' in it. Not to me really… So I thought that would be more interesting. And because a deathfic doesn't seem appealing to some readers. Anyways, that is it for the day/night. I'm going to do more. Wish me luck! And please show your support by reviewing. Or at least write an 8027 story to help out. Either is fine with me. Bye!
