A/N: I don't own any of the Monk characters and I am not making any money from writing this.

Please forgive any minor spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.

This story takes place during "Mr. Monk Goes to a Rock Concert". Rated T for an occasional sad content.

This IS NOT a femslash story.

Kendra was standing behind the stage, alone, looking at the ground.

There was nobody else there, at that location, but she could clearly hear the noise, loud music playing, people talking, screaming, laughing... how could they laugh, listen to the music, act like nothing had happened when a man was dead? Sure, not everyone there had known him, but still!

Was... was she the only one who had ever truly cared for him? He had a daughter, but she was so young, too young... and his ex wife... she felt sick only thinking about her.

The music actually wasn't too loud from her standing point, but it was loud enough for her to be unable to concentrate, to think straight. But maybe it was better that way.

That's life, I guess, she thought. At the time I want to be alone, I end up at one of the loudest and most crowded places possible. And I can't leave because...

"Hey."

She had heard a woman's voice behind her. It had been different than other voices in the crowd: closer, more isolated, and surprisingly nice and polite. So she turned around.

She saw Natalie, that blonde woman who was that detective's assistant.

"I've been looking for you", Natalie said, trying to form a small smile. "Got kind of worried."

Kendra shrugged and pulled her hands down her pockets. "Well... now you know where to find me."

Natalie bit her lower lip. "Do you want to walk back with me? To a port-a-poty? My boss and the detectives are searching the place, maybe they will find something."

"I... I will just..." Kendra sighed. "I need to be alone right now, OK?"

Natalie didn't know how or way, maybe it was due to her being a mother, her career with Adrian Monk, because she had lived through a personal tragedy herself or all of the above, but she had a gift, or instinct, something like that, making he able to recognize, right away, when somebody was sad, scared, or simply in a need for comforting or an advice. And she would always feel an urge-or even an obligation-to provide that.

Gift, and a curse, like her boss would say.

She walked few steps closer to Kendra. The younger woman was still looking at the ground, but there was no chance that she hadn't noticed Natalie. However, she did nothing.

"Are you OK?", Natalie asked, only to mentally face palm herself. What a stupid question.

Kendra, however, didn't seem to be offended or bothered.

"You can tell me", Natalie said in a convincing, compassionate tone.

Kendra finally raised her head and looked Natalie in the eyes.

"Have you ever... lost someone who..."

Natalie interrupted her. "My husband died."

"I... I'm sorry", Kendra said compassionately, looking down at the ground again. Natalie nodded her head.

"It's been... almost a decade by now", she explained. "He was a pilot, an accident happened, in the war zone, and so the things went wrong..."

"Does... does it ever... get better?", Kendra pleaded more than asked. "Does it ever... get to a point... when it doesn't hurt so much?"

Natalie took a deep breath, trying to think of an answer.

"At first, there is a shock. Denial. In the same time, there is a shock, denial, hope, and, deep inside, a knowledge that that is all there is-shock, denial, hope. It lasts too long. Maybe that is the worst part. Then you realize that what has happened is real." She looked around, blinkinh back tears. The whole place smelled of grass and alcohol. "That is... an indescribable feeling. Then comes the anger. You are angry at everyone. Even God, even if you don't believe that there is one. Then there is a pure desperation. You think that you will not be able to get on with your life without him. But then, you have to do something- drink, eat, comfort someone close to you who also has problems-and you realize that you can live without him. And that others need you. But that doesn't change the fact... that your life will never be the same." She swallowed hard before continuing. "So, no, it always hurts. Only you learn to... deal with it better as the time goes by."

Kendra nodded her head, biting her lower lip as she was thinking about what was she supposed to say, if anything at all. A single tear rolled down her face.

"I... I understand", she finally said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome", Natalie smiled. "Now go to mr. Monk and captain Stottlemeyer, shall we? Maybe they've found something that can help us solve the case."

"Sure", Kendra agreed. "I hope they have."